[Part 2 of the three part interview with BG]
My apologies to BG for making a link error. He runs the Netherlands Lifestyle Lair which is different from the Dutch. I've corrected the links and you can find them in the right navigation menu under Links as well.
Continuing with the expose on everyone's favorite Asian dating coach and pick up artist:
Well, I know there are guys out there who have trouble approaching ethnic minorities. I myself actually had inner game problems regarding black and Arabic girls. Is there a word of advice you offer to anyone scared to approach someone because of their race?
Realize that there will be some differences. I mean, attraction is attraction no matter the race, but some ethnic minorities tend to range in how they're used to being approached ranging from the "Holler Holler!" direct approach of African Americans to the more subtle, indirect social circle approach favoured by Asian American girls. And of course, the bigger the set, the more likely they are to conform to their sub-culture and the expectations placed on them ( i.e. sticking to their own race).
I was out sarging with an Asian guy, nicknamed Omni, a while ago. He commented that Asian girls are usually more quiet/shy than Dutch girls (white girls) and approaching them in their own language is a huge advantage. Would you agree to this (in the broad sense, there are always exceptions, of course)?
Yeah. Depends though. It's hard to explain, but as an Asian guy always out in the field... I can typically tell when an Asian female (AF) wants only white males (WM) or when an AF likes Asian males (AM). Call it a vibe thing or attraction radar... each girl sort of puts out a vibe of who she'd like to approach them.
And knowing anyone's language is a huge plus. I know a few phrases in Ethiopian, German, French, etc. that I picked up while travelling. I like to ask girl what their nationality is and then talk about that culture: white, black, whatever. Knowing the language, even a phrase or two, is a good DHV.
Did learning about PU change your view on life in other words; your life philosophy? And did this change further when you started to actively teach PU?
Definitely changed my life. It gave me insight into the social code, the matrix if you will, that underlines male/female interaction. It was like breaking into that hidden mindset of why only certain guys get the girl. From a teacher's perspective, it's like reverse engineering, you have to remember what it was like being a student, but also delve into the student's mindset.
While they usually have similar sticking points, some guys have certain areas that they really excel in while other areas are huge obstacles that come from either their inner game or lack of technique. As a teacher, you have to be REALLY aware of not only yourself, the girl, but also the student and how things are working for him and what you can do to improve his learning experience. Teaching and PU are two distinct skill sets and it's been an interesting, fun, and challenging experience so far.
Something that has become more and more prominent in the community is 'lifestyle'. What do you think about this and why do you think that the prominence has increased so much lately?
I think it's the natural evolution of the community. As the guys who practiced and teach get better and better, achieving the goals they set for themselves, they than go on to next level. For example, there's been a marked increase in interest in direct style as well as natural/genuine style. That, to me, is a direct representation of the growth of various PUAs as they shed their old ways and embark on new, perhaps better, methods of pick up. I don't think it's a fad, I think it's the seduction community growing up.
How does PU fit into your lifestyle?
I'm a business man, traveller, etc. Nowadays, I don't go out expressly to pick up. I mean, I go out quite a bit, but it's typically either to have fun, meet people, and help some of my Dallas wingmen. It's no longer quite that "I must sarge tonight to improve my skillset." It's who I am now... someone who enjoys going out, meeting friends at the bar/club, occasionally meeting a girl, and helping out a bro or two.
Sounds like a healthy way to practice PU. What do you think is the most important lesson you have ever learnt (concerning PU)?
Have fun. Seriously. I winged with dozens upon dozens of other newbies in LA. Fresh from taking some bootcamp. They'd have a honeymoon period and then basically burnout, because they took it like a job. This is SUPPOSED to be fun. It's a hard skillset and lifestyle to achieve, sure, but women are supposed to be enjoyable. Flirting is a fun thing to do. Don't treat it like a job and you'll last longer and not burnout like all the other wannabe PUAs.
The other second lesson I learned is that as an Asian man, I can succeed. And do damn well. I learned that when I was in Europe and got laid my first night. All my buddies spent the entire trip catching up to me. Ever since then, I haven't had those limiting beliefs that some Asian men suffer.
Yeah, actually, I was just speaking to LittlePUA (who took your first 1on1 bootcamp) and he said that the most important things he learnt from you are "just do, and your past shouldn't screw what you're doing now and your future".
Yeah, I did a 1o1 with him in Toronto. I had done some informal teaching, but that was my first official one.
With the knowledge you have now, would you do the same things if you could re-live the last four years; walk the same path?
Well, shit, I'd try and get laid the first day I hit puberty, LOL.
So you're saying getting laid is really not as hard as most guys think it is?
One common element amongst most naturals, including NaturalJ, was the ease of their sexuality. It wasn't something that they had to "turn on" or learn. They acquired their skill and attitude early in life... by getting laid earlier than most guys. It acclimated them to women, how women behave, and sex. Men & women have been screwing for time immemorial. IT's NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. Now it CAN be hard for those guys who weren't socially acclimated at an early age. Or guys coming from another country, like some of my FOB students.
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