The Approach

The approach. This was asked on the Fighting 44s discussion forum. Here's my take.

It's a multiple step process that isn't intuitive to a lot of guys, but in essence it's not only projecting confidence (you can't simply HAVE it and expect people to notice, you actually have to PROJECT it around you) but also CONVEYING your personality.

Much like an interview, a club/bar is a high pressure environment where first impressions count. You have to CONVEY your personality to the person within a short time, get her comfortable enough for you to take her somewhere physically comfortable and isolated (say a couch or on the patio) and then get into more indepth rapport and later on sexuality.

Lemme see, had a date tonight with a red headed, petite cute thing from a couple of weeks ago. Alas, no nookie, but several kisses, talked about sex, and had an end of the night makeout session.

How I approached her:
1) Saw her from the 2nd lvl of the club as she circled the parking lot 3 times (she didn't know how to get there)
2) Identified my target: she was on the edge of the dance floor watching some hip hop/break dancers
3) I approached from the rear/side
4) Placed my hand on her shoulder
5) Firmly, but gently turned her around to face me
6) Playfully asked her if she was at the right club and parking lot (I tend to use purely funny, playful situational openers that I thought up on the spot; I'll also make fun of them)
7) She laughed and said something.
8) I pretended not to hear.
9) Motioned her to speak into my ear.
10) Turned my head with every expectation of her to get in closer to me and say something
11) She did so and we talked a little over the loud music
12) Told her I couldn't hear over the music and for her to follow me (not ask, simply told her)
13) Turned around
14) Held out my hand behind me, again with every expectation that she would follow my lead
15) She did and grabbed my hand
16) Walked outside
17) Picked up two chairs and moved them to the side
18) Sat her down
19) Sat down in front of her
20) Positioned her legs in between mine
21) Talked
22) I asked almost NO questions, simply made statements.
23) She flowed with the conversation and responded.
24) Talked some more
25) Touching: hand to hand, hand to thigh, thigh to thigh, etc.
26) Asked rhetorically, "You have a cell phone, right? Let me see it."
27) Held out my hand and she gave me her cellphone.
28) Programmed my number and name in.
29) Rang my phone
30) End approach

The ONLY moment I actually thought about WHAT and HOW to do it was at step number 2 when I saw her again on the dance floor and quickly ascertained the easiest approach logistics and where to take her. After that, everything was on automatic and I had a good time BEING in the moment and flirting with her.

PS She's never dated or kissed an Asian man before me tonight.