The Impact Approach: 30 Seconds to Make It or Break It

30 seconds.

Almost half the women you meet will judge you "Doable or Not Doable" in 30 seconds according to a study done at the Edinburgh International Science Festival.

It's natural. It's what we do. We naturally "thin-slice" our interactions with another person and form snap first impressions because:

“We thin-slice because we have to, and we come to rely on that ability because there are lots of hidden fists out there, lots of situations where careful attention to the details of a very thin slice, even for no more than a second or two, can tell us an awful lot.”

-Malcolm Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking

And the FIRST THING women and people in general notice about you is your race.

The irony, of course, is that it's your personality (your Game) that allows you to successfully woo, court, date, and seduce women. And that's where and why you have to convey a personality stronger and more overwhelming than any kind of preconceived stereotype that she might have of you.

He'd gotten her number from a mutual friend, and asked for a date. His efforts to sweet-talk her didn't go well. He was cocky and full of "intellectual jive," she told me. But she agreed to meet him for lunch.

When he picked her up, her first impression of him was "how short he seems" and "how unimpressive he looks." Still, she decided to set aside those first thoughts, and as she spent time with him, she saw through his wild confidence, and found a sincere sense of purpose. "He grew in stature," she said.

I've told this story to my teenage daughters when they've been quick to dismiss someone at first glance. The woman's name was Coretta Scott. The man, whom she eventually married, was Martin Luther King Jr.

-Jeffry Zaslow, Wall Street Journal
There are two very important elements to pulling off a high probability approach: the non-verbal aspect and the verbal aspect.

  1. The non-verbal aspect: Things like how you look and your body language. You can't change whether you look like a male model, your skin tone, or your height, but you are in control of how you dress, how you walk, how you hold yourself, and your facial expressions. All these very discrete, but vital slices of information that she's collecting, storing, and ultimately judging about you.

  2. The verbal aspect: This occurs right after that (hopefully) movie moment of the approach and you've opened your mouth. The clock's ticking, she's already started to form judgements on you based purely on how you look, and now it's time to verbally impress her with intriguing questions and scintillating story-telling.
I should be finishing up the "Sticking Points Asian Men Have While Dating" pretty soon and for the next post series, I'll be exploring HOW to make that 30 Second Approach count.

Signed, Asian Playboy

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