Approach Anxiety from Mystery's Lounge & Captain Jack PUA

"One night when I went out with AsianPlayboy he showed me how to PROPERLY use my hat to get a lot of mileage out of it when girls open me on it."

-Captain Jack
[UPDATE 2009: Use the Kickstart Opener to kill any and all of your Approach Anxiety!]

Some words of wisdom on Destroying Approach Anxiety from Captain Jack on Mystery's Lounge. My replies below [WARNING: Lots of jargon ahead. Read at your own risk.]

Hey guys,

I've spent the past few weeks destroying my approach anxiety. It is ENTIRELY gone now. In fact, last night and tonight it felt WEIRD because I kept waiting for it to come up and it never did....

Wanna know how I did it?

Just send your credit card # to -- ha ha- just fuckin' with you...

Here's how:
1. Listening to Shark's CDs and gaining his mindset really helped
2. Reading Mystery's eBook
3. Going out with other PUA's and "helping" each other into set - there's just something about seeing other PUA's gaming chicks and NOT getting killed, ridiculed, etc that seems to help me.

Shark's CDs helped a lot with the mindset and theory.

Definitely, it's always a joy to find someone near your skill level that can not only open and blow up sets with you, but a cool guy that you'd have no problems chilling with. It's a better, friendlier vibe as well as letting you get more out of infield experience.

But, here are a few thoughts that REALLY helped me destroy the approach anxiety...

From Mystery's eBook:
"A venusian artist goes into the field night after nigth primarily to improve his calibration and internalize his skill-set. He's not trying to get this one girl or to 'get laid tonight.' Rather, he's practicing with the long-term goal of having a powerful social skill-set...It's like playing a video game: if your man dies, just hit the button and play again." p. 39

"Remember, you aren't just gaming the set, but the entire room." p. 128

Then, he discusses the attraction switches. I've only read about the pre-selection and attraction switches so far. So, the other night I went out with KinoMaster and Blincubus and we OWNED the bar by opening early and parading chicks around the bar...

We were all either in-set or together having a blast and IGNORING the rest of the room. One dude bought me a shot. A waitress that never acknowledge my existence opened me after I flashed the "Clown Grin" at a set.

In short, we truly owned the bar.

So, here's what I do now...
1) Open a set right after I get a diet coke (or bacardi O and red bull)...
"oh, but they're 7s!"
"But, I'm not warmed up!"
"But, they didn't give me an AI!"
"But, but, but..."
- Doesn't matter! - open them get your mouth moving, toss out a few jokes get them laughing. It's ok to run a few SHORT SETS first. Even talk to a few guys if you have to...

2) Open another set adjacent to them - lock-in so you make it look to the entire room like YOU are being gamed. If things are going well then I say, "Hey, I'm going to get a drink. Come with me!" to my Target. Then, I promenade her THE LONG WAY across the bar to make sure as many chicks see us as possible.

Here's something interesting I've noticed. Couples sit down and usually go to the bar separately.

If you are promenading or holding hands with a girl then most of the chicks KNOW you have done a good job attracting her. Especially if she was previously laughing and your were locked in during the set.

* Pre-selection switch THROWN ** Social Proof switch THROWN *

Then, I isolate and try to build comfort. If she begins to feel the least bit fidgety or hesitant, I'll say, "Let's get back to our friends!" and take her back, chat with them a few more minutes and then go back to my friends.

She'll CONTINUE giving you AI's from across the room which OTHER chicks will notice.

* The Leader of Men Switch *
I learned this from AsianPlayboy - a few times when I've been in set and he's been moving a girl to isolate, he'll stop by on his way to isolate and say, "Hey man, you cool? You need a drink?"

This is fucking awesome!
It does 2 things:
1) To HIS Target it looks like he is the Leader and he's taking care of his bros, checking up on me, etc.
2) To MY Target it looks like my friends are making sure I'm good and buying me drinks

* Leader of Men Switch THROWN in Two Sets Simultaneously *

- How fucking cool is that?

I did this with KinoMaster the other night and it went exactly as planned.

Heh, thanks man. I was consciously doing it as social proof, but also to make sure all my boys are taken care of. Number 1 to me out in the field is that YOU HAVE FUN. That's the only way you can last in this business. ENJOY going out, socializing, and chilling with your friends.

It makes life worth living.

The thing that made the most different was convincing myself that I'm honing my skill set for those rare opportunities when i meet a girl that i really want to attract. So, mentally none of this shit matters. That frees me to go in and say, "hmm.... I wonder if I can get her to BEG me to take her number??? Let's try it!"

I'm also thinking, "Ok, I'm going to make it easy on myself by throwing as many switches as possible with the chicks in the bar BEFORE i even open them."

Think about it. Why make it hard on your self? Before you go and talk to that girl that really catches your eye, let her see you in set with some cute girls. Let her see you locked in. Let her see the chick nearly ATTACK you for the kiss close. Or, even just tossing IOI's at you like confetti at a parade. GIRLS DO NOTICE THAT - they have a radar for that and they can see it from all the way across the club.

I #closed the 2nd hottest girl in the bar that Fri. night and she had to TELL me to take her number 3 times. She tried to Day2 me by saying she had to take me to try sushi, etc. etc. I FINALLY took her number on her 3rd try AFTER we got tongue down.

KinoMaster walked by and saw her practically PINNING me to the bar while she SHOVED her tongue down my throat. He said EVERY table on that side of the bar looked over at us.

Porn Star body and she was peacocking too!!!! SHE OPENED ME because she noticed me in set, my boys in set and us having a fucking awesome time and I was peacocking which gave her the reasonable opportunity to open me by asking me if she could wear my hat.

One night when I went out with AsianPlayboy he showed me how to PROPERLY use my hat to get a lot of mileage out of it when girls open me on it. So, I looked at her and said, "Tell me a joke first." *BIG SMILE* and she was caught off guard.

I negged her by looking at her friend and said, "You can dress her up, but you can't take her anywhere." The obstacle laughed at that.

Again, thanks for the props man! Always capitalize on any AI opportunity. Whether it's eye contact or if she straight up apporached you, always be prepared to REEL HER IN.

The hottest girl in the bar was a Blonde chikc in a red top. My plan was to pull my girl over and forward merge into her set but alas she left before I could do that because all the guys were too scared to open her and her friend and they got bored and went home. Sigh...CaptainJack can only do so much...

* Re-opening previously gamed sets *

I just roll up and say, "You guys having a good time?"

And then I start vibing again. Easy, easy.

Hope this helps. This is truly fun, isn't it? I'm having a blast! If you're not then get the eBook, get the DVDs - you SHOULD be having this much fun. It's soooo easy when you just follow the method.

-- CaptainJack

P.S. Got another number close when AsianPlayboy, Blincubus and I went out. I did a photo routine but she balked on the kiss, "I hardly know you!" *smiling* so I said, "yeah, just the cheek"

That's fine man. Even the hot Asian cocktail waitress that I hooked up with last week wouldn't give me the full kiss. So I pointed to one cheek, the other cheek, the nose, etc. Day2 comes around so we're physically familiar enough to be pecking and it's only a matter of time for the full makeout and a little Game to get the full hook up.

Glad we started kicking it in the Big D. We've got this town LOCKED DOWN.

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