When you tell a story, you want to be able to reenact the events that occurred in a way that allows the listener to feel as though they were right there with you. Telling a story is a combination of pace, word choice, energy level, descriptive language. Most importantly though is the use of descriptive language when telling a story.
In the previous article, I spoke about the overall basics of Holistic Game. Why it's so important to completely develop your technical skillset in parallel with your internal belief system.
So let's start exploring one of those technical components that composes ALL methods, regardless of style like indirect or direct. Mastering verbal attraction is an art form in itself. It requires the individual to develop the skills necessary to clearly communicate what they want and present it in an attractive manner.
Verbal attraction breaks down into two categories: Bantering and Storytelling (the B and C phases in the ABCs Structure).
But beyond just the substance of what you say is HOW you say it. Your delivery will influence how well you can tell a story and banter. These technical attributes are your:
- Tonality
- Inflection
- Voice projection
- Word choice
- Energy level
- Pace
When you have an excellent control of these vocal attributes; women will be attracted to this single ability to converse and tell stories (amongst the many other highly desirable attributes a part of developing holistic game.
While the best way to learn and understand Verbal Attraction is by listening and watching an instructional program in real life (like our Storytelling DVD), I'll do my best to present it to you in the written form.
After the jump, we'll begin by exploring each of these attributes...
Bantering
Bantering is a playful type of conversation which is akin to joking around with some good friends. It should be lighthearted and not taken seriously. Bantering includes some teasing, exaggeration, cocky/funny, obstacles, and sometimes sarcasm.
Remember, the main point is to smile, keep it lighthearted and fun. Here is an example:
Woman: My feet are killing me.
Man: Yeah I'm sure, you're wearing 10 inch heels! (Exaggeration)
Woman: They are NOT 10 inches!
Man: That's quite alright, just don't break your ankles. (Obstacle)
Woman: (Sarcastic) Thanks for caring, you're SUCH a sweetheart.
Man: Whoaa now! Are you hitting on me? I just met you and you're giving me pet names already?! (Cocky/funny)
You can turn any conversation fun and interesting when you work on your bantering skills. You can watch some romantic comedies if you want to get an idea of how to banter with women. Those movies are filled with it.
Practice being more playful and banter with everybody until you feel comfortable with it.
Storytelling
To effectively tell a story can make you a lot more interesting. I've seen tons of guys who have done some pretty interesting things but the problem is that they don't know how to present it to other people.
When you tell a story, you want to be able to reenact the events that occurred in a way that allows the listener to feel as though they were right there with you. Telling a story is a combination of pace, word choice, energy level, descriptive language. Most importantly though is the use of descriptive language when telling a story.
You're painting a picture in the listener's head and the more you can do to use language to describe the events that occurred the better. Every story has a beginning, middle, and an end. You want the story to have a point other than the fact that you just wanted to share.
For practice, read children's stories and you can observe how they use descriptive language to tell a story. Write out your own story and practice telling it out loud using the vocal techniques mentioned above.
For more help, check out our 2-hour DVD "Building Attraction Through Storytelling" that's also bundled with an eBook that contains 11 critiqued Attraction Stories!
Tonality
Simply uttering words is not sufficient enough in attracting women. It must have a quality to it that is seductive and attractive.
Vocal tone is a product of two functions which include your vocal chords and body cavities. When you speak, the sound originates from your vocal chordsand resonates through your chest, throat and head as it comes out of your mouth.
You want to sound more like James Bond than Gilbert Godfried.
Here is an exercise that you can use to work on to improve your tonality:
- Hum at a comfortable pitch.
- Move the pitch slightly lower; pay attention to how your chest feels.
- Hum until you can feel the vibration in your chest. Continue humming once you do, attempting to increase the vibration.
- Next move the pitch slightly higher; pay attention to how your head feels.
- Let your mouth open. Hum until you feel the vibration in your tongue and lips, behind and above your mouth. Continue humming once you do, attempting to increase the vibration.
- Finally, return to your chest once more. Repeat the whole exercise, always ending with your chest in order to develop a full, luscious sound.
Try that out until you feel comfortable with the sound and POWER in your own voice.
Inflection
Inflection is can change the meaning of a sentence by altering the sound of your voice.
For example you could say the sentence, "I would like to go to the store right now" in so many different ways that the person receiving the message could mistaken it for something else. If you were to say that sentence angrily then the person listening would take that as a message from the other person to hurry up.
If you say that sentence in an upbeat fashion, it could come across as excitement. It's important to use inflection to emphasize the meaning of what you're talking about so that there is more clarity in your speech.
For an exercise, try saying these sentences with the following emotions:
- I do what I want!
- Are you ready yet?
- This is a great song.
- I don't think I can wait.
- You really need to take a look at this.
- Would you like to sleep with me?
And say it with the following emotions:
- Angry
- Sad
- Happy
- Thoughtful
- Sleepy
- Bored
- Sexual
- Sarcastic
- Powerful
Are you starting to feel a change in your voice, yet?
Voice Projection
You have to be heard.
It's a pain in the ass to have to repeat yourself and most people can't hear you when you don't project your voice. This is what separates the meek individual from the confident male who lets others know he is speaking. You don't have to talk over everyone, but you do want to be heard.
Here is a way to help you work on your vocal projection:
- Sitting straight, place one hand on your belly and another behind your back opposite your hand on your belly.
- Breath in, attempting to move both hands out as far as possible (it takes a lot of strength to get your hand on your back to move; don't worry if it doesn't). This is belly breathing. Notice how it feels; this is how you want to breath when you speak in order to use your full
lung capacity and get the fullest, strongest, and richest sound.
- Exhale quickly, but make no sound as you do so. Sound is an indication of tension.
- Breath in again. Now, when you exhale, say the first letter of the alphabet.
- Continue until you reach Z.
As you progress through the alphabet, pretend that with each letter you are speaking to a target farther and farther away. By the time you reach the end, you should be very loud and strong. If you're still breathing right, you will be stronger than you could be breathing normally.
Word Choice
The words you use can tell a lot about how you perceive the world around you.
If you are generally negative then much of the words you will use will have negative connotations associated with it. If you're constantly thinking about sex then much of what you will talk about will most likely turn into sexual conversation.
For example, if someone were to ask you what time it is; you could easily respond back with, "Time for sex." Another individual would have simply gave the time. If all you talk about is how to pick up women, then much of your conversations with others will focus on picking up women even if it is out of context.
It is important to make sure that you are aware of what words you are using because it can say a lot about you and you want to display the better parts of yourself.
As an exercise, you should record yourself when you're having conversations with other people and listen to where the conversation usually ends up when you begin to talk. You'll find that there is a pattern in where your conversations usually end up.
This will give you some insight on what you need to work on.
Energy Level
Energy level can determine how interested you are in the conversation.
When you sound monotonous and lethargic it does not telegraph much interest to the other individual. However, if you sound excited and genuinely happy about what you're talking about then it will also get the other individual to feel what you feel.
This may be difficult for some people to achieve, but it's better to be slightly more energetic when you talk as opposed to being constantly low energy. Alternatively, when you master the ability to control your energy levels when interacting with others you will also learn how to transition from high to low energy based on the context of situation.
You would not be high energy when a woman tells you a story about her dying puppy and you would not be low energy when she tells you it's her birthday.
For your practice, try to tell a 2-3 minute story to a few people and tell this story as though it were the best moment of your life. Additionally, you should tell this same story but do it such a way that it feels like you were impartial to the event.
Note the difference in how people respond to your story.
Pace
Pacing is important when talking to others. Talking slowly is generally perceived as being confident because it lets others know that they will listen to every word you say and that every word you utter is intentional.
Speaking quickly can mean you're just rushing what you have to say so that the other person doesn't lose interest or that you're excited. Speaking quickly can mean many things, but to the general public speaking slower is seen as confident. You don't have to sound like Cleveland from, "Family Guy" but it would help to slow down your speech.
See what works for you.
An exercise that you can try is to read a page from a book out loud as slowly as you can and then gradually increase the speed. It would help for you to record yourself so you can listen to how fast or slow you're speaking. You'll find that you're not reading as slow as you think you are.
When you talk to others, try to slow down your speech and make every word you say clear and concise. Again, you will most likely not be talking as slow as you think you are so slow it down as much as possible.
These are the vocal qualities that encompass the technical aspects of verbal attraction which in turn will allow you to tell stories and banter effectively.
When you develop the ability to communicate and speak attractively, you will definitely become more noticeable to women.
Until I see you at the next ABCs' Reunion, happy hunting!
APB
"What I experienced over the weekend was so unreal. JT poured his heart and soul into the program from beginning to end. Ironic thing for me was I thought he would take it easy in the in-field portion, instead he was hard at work winging students, pumping them up, coordinating the instructors, EVERYTHING!"
- Goodwood (Texas)
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Labels: Banter, Buying Temperature, Holistic Game, Verbal Attraction