I liked Toronto. It was only slightly different from American cities with an almost European air. Surprisingly, at least to me, it's also one of the most diverse cities with close to 50% Asian (both East and South), but looking around you wouldn't be able to tell.
Luckily, I was centrally located to all the prime day and night venues. LittlePUA is a high school kid- a tall, good looking Chinese Canadian. He was also beaten up on three separate times by neo-Nazis. And bless his mother's heart, she so fully supported her boy learning how to destroy his social anxiety and be confident enough to socialize with other people that she flew me out there to help her boy.
So for four days and four nights, I worked with LittlePUA on both Inner Game and Outer Game. The majority of the time was spent discussing how to deal with racism, how to be confident, what it takes to be confident, as well as actual techniques for his high school environment, what makes a woman tick and feel attracted, and how to game women in both day and night time settings.
I learned a lot about this young man who, in a different and more conducive environment, could have been his high school's star quarterback but due to racism had his confidence and social experiences beaten down. I also learned a bit more about myself, not only as a teacher and a playboy, but also why I like helping out my Asian brothers. Trust me, I was pumping my fists in the air and giving LittlePUA the mental high five the first time he took his first girl and isolated her down stairs at the couches.
And this was the boy who had NEVER approached a single woman in his entire life. Damn, that just gave me such an adrenaline rush like you WOULDN'T believe. Hell, LittlePUA even gamed up a beautiful blonde Canadian Celebrity while she was there with her fat friend and two guy friends who barely spoke up at all.
I know my own Game continues to need improvement. I'm no guru and I don't even claim to be an expert, but I am good. I'm not the best because I certainly win some and I lose some, but I'm never a non-contender. Not like those cheesedicks that stood around in awe, amazement and a shit load of jealousy as LittlePUA approached set after set of good looking Canadian girls.
Let's break down what I taught:
1) Inner Game - what makes a man a man and what differentiates a leader from followers. How to deal with racism as a minority, to feel attractive, etc. How and why negativity from women has no place in one's reality. How to have FUN, enjoy life and NOT become a social robot.
2) Spontaneity Exercise - I'm not a big fan of canned material, though I understand their place as training wheels and maybe a little backup material... just in case. Anyways, everyday I went through the same exercise with him that would allow him to be spontaneous and genuine in his conversation (as well as having ready responses for shit tests and cheesedicks throwing salt on his Game). Why it's better to make emotional, opinionated statements than it is to throw out questions, etc.
3) Tonality Exercise - Worked on his tonality, how he spoke and how it sounded. When you're not socially experienced, you don't have a lot of variance in your speech and we worked on that as well.
4) Indirect Game - Showed him the classic versions of indirect game and how to open with both situational and canned openers.
5) Direct Game - Showed him the classic direct game and how to open with a direct opener.
6) Body Language - Standing, sitting, and walking: how to be and appear more relaxed and confident.
7) Fashion - LittlePUA was noticing some serious female attention after he got his first new threads. And they didn't even card him this time around. Basically how to be hip, but with an edge so he doesn't look like all the other clones.
8) Competition - how to deal with cheesedicks and lamers who are trying to get to him: befriend, ignore, or tool.
9) Phone Game Exercise - how to properly exchange numbers with both cell and paper; how to prep for the phone number before going for it; how and when to call a girl and what it's like to hear the message.
10) Social Circle Game - especially how it relates to high school. How it's OK to be friends with lots of people of both sexes, how to be easy going and friendly, how to chill and take your time to build up social circles from multiple areas.
11) Night Time Venue Social Dynamics - how and why people are acting, dressing, and behaving at a bar or a club; how to even get INTO a bar/club without a fake ID; why/how you should befriend everyone from the bouncer, waitress to the promoter.
12) Logistics - how to build up his pad and how his dates should be structured.
13) INTERNALIZE - how and why he needs to internalize this, not simply to become good with women, but to become the guy that people appreciate, follow and automatically want to be friends with. To be the guy that's well rounded with a lot of rich, varied life experiences.
14) Sticking Points - the common sticking points all people go through when they try to go from socially inexperienced shy guys to a more confident, aggressive man.
I covered a lot of ground, but LittlePUA had already done his homework and knew, if only intellectually, the material. Still, it takes a lot of balls to build up that courage and approach a beautiful woman. I know LittlePUA made a lot of strides over the weekend and I feel for him having to be thrown back into a redneck, podunk, insular town and high school. It's not going to be easy for him, but I honestly hope I've instilled the right beliefs as well as given him the right tools for dealing with the next years in high school before he ventures out into the big, bad real world.
I'm sure there was certainly a lot of other material I could have covered. One uncertainty I had was how much should I demonstrate and how hard I should force LittlePUA to take action.
The sets I did, I almost always had them hook (the six girl bachelorette party comes to mind who had me sitting, groping me, and taking my picture with them), but I'm not there to hook up. I've certainly heard some horror stories of how an instructor went in, pulled, and left the student to stew in his own juices. How much should be demonstration and how much should the student have to WORK? To not let him rationalize his fear and indecision by giving him the option to sit back and let the teacher "demonstrate" when in fact his simply his brain giving him paralysis analysis.
I learned a lot in the process and I sincerely hope LittlePUA learned much from me. I asked him to give me a fair and balanced review within the next week so that not only could he write down his experiences and give it permanence, but also allow me to see what areas I was strong at and what I still needed to work on.
I returned home to find my e-mail inbox full of mail from guys wanting my advice. I'll try and get to you as soon as I can, but bottom line: if I, a slim 5"6 Vietnamese guy, and a HIGH SCHOOL kid who was beaten up by neo-Nazis can do it... YOU SURE THE FUCK AS HELL CAN!
Anyways, I'm off like a prom dress to go on a date, dip our toes in rooftop pool and chill under the balmy, starry skies of Texas.