Now, this is predominantly a blog about my experiences and how to better oneself when it comes to picking up, attracting, and seducing women... especially if you're an Asian or ethnic man.
So on occasion, I check my website stats to see how both my loyal and traitorous readers get to my blog. And one of the nice features of such stat programs is to see what keywords they typed into the Google and Yahoo search engines...
Like, seriously, how the FUCK do some of you people even get here?!
The previous time I posted on this subject was actually ONE year ago in May of 2006: "All Your White Women Are Belong To Us."
I assure you, I derive priceless moments of girly giggling fits when I peruse the mind boggling keyword list. In fact, I may even make it a monthly post for continued shits and giggles at their expense from now on.
Lo and behold, ye random cretinous louts who land on this blog in the fruitless search for porn and satisifcation... I give you:
"ALL YOUR WHITE WOMEN ARE BELONG TO US"
List for May of 2007
- "are white women attracted to black men"
Alumnus Sexual Chocolate seems to be doing all right for himself.
- "hate groups against black men dating white women"
Hmmm, maybe I should give him a call and make sure no skinheads have whacked him.
- "brazilian girls love to tongue kiss"
OCWaterBoy, Asian Papi, Sexual Chocolate and myself can testify to that!
- "asian guys insecure"
Only about whether or not I'm leaving enough girls for my brothers out there!
- "height increase magic spell"
I don't know whether to laugh or cry on this one... Nah, I think I'll just laugh from my 5 foot 6 inch perch.
- "give the greatest handjob for my man"
I love proactive women! But you're selling yourself short, girl! Set your goals higher!
Give the greatest BLOWJOB for your man!
- "brazilian girls looking for asian husbands"
South American mail order brides... here I come!
- "white women who love asian men"
Once you go Asian...
- "asian men are the hardest"
... You can't go Caucasian!
That's right baby, you've discovered our GRAND, EASTERN, ORIENTAL, MYSTICAL SECRET! Asian Men have the Buddha damned HARDEST penises- bar none- on the planet!
IN FACT, I CAN "HAMMER A SIX INCH SPIKE THROUGH A 2 BY 4" *AND* STOP THE FLOW OF THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM WITH MY ASIAN HARDEST PENIS!!!
- "what kind of girls do puas pick up?"
Girls with BIG FAT BOOBIES!
- "fun ways to kiss a boy"
They're ALL fun, baby.
- "are indian men hotter than asian men"
All of us who aren't melanin-challenged are hot!
- "rich asian american attract white girls"
Wealth does an Asian body good.
- "is grabbing her butt during a makeout session rude?"
Actually, it would be considered rude NOT to grab her butt doing a makeout session!
- "hand job with friends"
Hey, what's a little handjob between friends?
And lastly, my PERSONAL favorite that had me spitting Dr. Pepper from my nose.......
DRUM ROLL PLEASE!
- "asian boys fucking backpacking white girls"
Oh yeah, baby, OH YEAH.
The APB Team is doing Europe in a couple of weeks. Groove and Toy Machine are hitting up Paris, France and Ibiza, Spain whilst I trek off to Scottland/Ireland and the hinterlands of Scandinavia!
Back packing white girls galore! All ours for the taking!
Seriously. I could not make this shit up even if I tried.
Labels: All Your White Women Are Belong To Us, Humor