Sticking Points of Asian Men When It Comes to Dating, Part 5

I'm now back in Dallas and in my Decompression phase just vegetating for another round of back to back bootcamps. My next bootcamp, thankfully, will be in Dallas with an Asian bro flying in from Spain.

Anyways, all good things must come to an end and so we have the last post on the Common Stickings Points for Asian Men in Dating series. My next round of posts will be on making a High Impact Approach. Do YOU have what it takes to make a powerful, positive and sexual first impression on a woman within 30 seconds?

On to the games!

NOT KINOING (GENERAL ATTRACTION)

Wax Off: Amongst the many types of Anxiety (Approach Anxiety, Phone Anxiety, Beauty Anxiety, etc) touching a person (especially a woman) is very common. Society dictates that touching is a strict no-no, and while I agree that you don't want to be a "touchy feely" kind of guy, a man NEEDS to show his physical interest otherwise he's not going to get anywhere with a beautiful woman.

Wax On: In fact, the way I approach women and the way I teach students how to approach is to actually START with kino first and foremost. There are many studies that show from powerful handshakes to shoulder touching how you can quickly establish a bond with another person. Now, she's not going to want to jump your Asian bones at your slighest kino, but like one of my favorite sayings, "Always try and stack the deck in your favor."

NOT ESCALATING (SEXUAL ATTRACTION)

Dilbert: This is a BIGGIE for Asian guys. It’s still a common sticking point, but I think it’s particularly so for the Asian bros. Hey, we all pretty aware of the asexual Asian stereotype. In order to overcome any kind of preconceived perceptions of you, you have to convey an image and personality that’s stronger than anything that she might already be thinking.

James Bond: In order for her to think of you in a sexual light, you need to act and dress in a sexual manner. I’m not talking about getting all metrosexual, but lose the black and grey and loosen a button or two. When it comes to talking to women, don’t be afraid to transition from your standard Comfort talk to a more sexual, pimp talk. Change your tonality, kino (touching her on the shoulder, arm, hand, etc), and relaxed body language to convey sexuality. Let her know you’re checking her out, that you’re a good dancer, kisser, or whatever. Be comfortable in your own skin whether it’s out in the club or in the bedroom macking on a girl. Don’t be afraid to build up a little sexual tension and excitement. Otherwise, you’re stuck in the Friend Zone.

BEING TOO PATRIARCHAL / MISOGYNISTIC / JUDGEMENTAL / AHOLE

"Americanese": I never had a problem with this, to be honest- well, maybe not the A-Hole part since I am borderline arrogant. Anyways, it may be due to my own family which is fueled by our hardworking Vietnamese business women, but I hear it enough from women with either their preconceived notions and prejudices or their own experiences/observations with Asian Men.

"The Joy Luck Club": That Asian Men are (or at least perceived as) being too controlling and patriarchal. Whether you assume that all women are destined to be barefoot and pregnant, that American women are all sluts, or just have a poor opinion of women in general, you either need to change that attitude (we are living in the 21st century after all) or at least mask it.

"Better Luck Tomorrow": To counteract this, you have to convey an attitude that’s open about women (and their sexuality) as well as surround yourself with female friends in order to gain social proof (as well as understanding in the female psyche) and that you’re OK with a woman expressing her own sensuality and inner slut.

We’re all sexual beings here: Hey, if you’re trying to get a woman in bed and then you express disgust that she’s a horny slut, well, that’s just straight up hypocritical not to mention weird male logic and thinking. She's a living, breathing, horny woman with her own desires, goals, and perverted thoughts. Just like you.
Type of woman: And you also can’t assume that every woman wants to be a stay at home housewife or even career women. I’ve known both types. I say be like water and go with the flow. I’m not marrying either one of them so I don’t really care whether one wants to churn out babies or one wants to become the CEO of her company. I’m basically OK with both types of women.
Parents: You also can’t assume the woman will kowtow to your parents. I bet you won’t like your own in-laws so don’t force her to like her’s. Whether you're after an all-American girl or an Asian FOB girl, everyone has different values on family.
Prejudices: Finally, some women will just HAVE those prejudices. Not a lot, but a small percentage. The only way past that is to CONVEY A PERSONALITY THAT TRUMPS ANY PRECONCEPTIONS. Some people can be swayed by energy, your fun loving attitude, and your openness while others will remain close-minded. There's no use trying to save (or seduce) everyone, just work with what you have and what YOU want out of life. Let them wallow in their's.
Stop Living At Home: It's OK in Asia like Japan, but it's not so big here in America. And don't treat your potential girlfriend or hookup buddy like a surrogate mother. She's not. Be independent and live life a little.