[ADVICE] "When She F-Tests You (ie Are You Fun or Fake?)" by Toy Machine

"In Jiu Jitsu terms, think of this as a "Grapple". When an opponent is trying to grapple you, you need to be able to STAND YOUR GROUND and still have the position of power (or staying on top of him when your both on the ground)."
-Toy Machine
Our very own "ABCs of Attraction" Approach Coach (and Vegas socialite and Buying Temperature / Dance Game / Jedi-PUA) Toy Machine has written an awesome article on Congruence Tests.

Or as I like to call them, in keeping with the simplicity of the ABCs Method, F-Tests...

"Are you a truly genuine FUN man? or just a FAKE poseur?"

By Toy Machine

When girls shit test you, they're looking for a reaction; either one that will reveal their suspicions of you not really being the cool guy that you're making yourself out to be or one that reinforces their desire- nay, NEED- to be with a real, strong, and confident man like yourself.

They kinda have to because frankly, no one wants to sleep with a FRAUD.

So what if you ARE a fraud and you are just "pretending" to be a cool guy so girls will like you?

...well then you'll have to learn how to pass her tests long enough for you to get laid. And the faster you get laid, the less "tests" you have to deal with (since there is less time for her to test you).

The trade off is that the F-Tests become "harder" such as LMR which in essence is like your "FINAL EXAM" or whatever and no matter how well you did throughout the semester, you flunk the final, your grade goes from an "A" to a "C" EASY, devastating your GPA.

There are two (2) simple ways to handle this...
The rewards is that you don't have to conciously deal with tests because NOW you are actually the PROFESSOR handing out tests to the class (qualifiers).

I didn't realize the importance of having a girl "work" for my attention because frankly, I just wanted some hot pussy and will take it from anyone willing to offer it lol. But when your working to get a girls attention and to get her to like you, you are essentially giving her the power.

Whereas if you put yourself in the position of power, and made HER work for you, you FLIPPED the SCRIPT

Sooo, know your value, and screen women accordingly. Now I can see how this can disguise itself as an EXCUSE like "Oh she's not PRETTY enough for me so I won't approach, or OH I only talk to girls who don't bring guys with them because I want a SINGLE girl and if she brings guys she's lame".

It's total bullshit because if SHE caught your attention in the first place then she essentially "attracted" you to her... otherwise she would have just been another blur in the crowd.

"Okay TM enough with the IDEAL perfect world philosophy and KJing," I hear you say, "Lets get back to REALITY, and that is..."

Well remember, when a girl tests you, they are looking for a REACTION. Any reaction and you FAILED. It is very effective at weeding out the losers because they are reading your body language. Going back to emotional intelligence, your emotional state influences your facial expressions, voice and body language.

When a girl is able to elicit an EMOTIONAL RESPONSE to YOU, she has the emotional penis and you just have a man-gina.

In other words, you are a man who cannot control his emotions, or, someone with no self-control. It tells her that you are actually a boy PRETENDING to be a MAN. This is why its SOOO important to actually BE a REAL MAN who has self-control and an emotional penis.

I know it's starting to sound cliche right now but I'll say it over and over till its drilled in everyone's head; Be REAL and GENUINE and AUTHENTIC, because when you are, you got nothing to hide.

Goes back to being CONGRUENT and BEING YOURSELF

Ok now hold on, its one thing to be congruent with a SEXUAL IDENTITY but what if you are a guy who's congruent with a NON-SEXUAL identity. In other words, what if you are congruent with being an unattractive geeky nerd? Well you won't get tested but the tradeoff is you won't get laid either.

So you actually have to go through a PHASE of "FAKING IT till you MAKE IT."

It is the journey from a non sexual identity to a REAL sexual identity aka "THE GAME". But for God sakes, be sure to make it guys. You don't want to be a fraud forever.
I'm going to emphasize FAKE here to reiterate that what you are doing is only a TEMPORARY solution to a bigger problem and that you should be actively trying to fix the "bigger problem". In society they call it your RITE OF PASSAGE from boyhood to manhood.
However, it is not the same thing as being PASSIVE, and letting people walk all over you. In contrast, I think one of the ways to handle this would actually be to lose your cool and let your emotions run wild. You are essentially going from your passive state to being aggressive. This is the only way to ACCESS your 'happy middle" or assertive state, because you won't know how far the line is until you cross it.

It is better to let all your bottled up emotions out NOW, than accumulating it for years and then one day showing up at your college campus shooting everyone in sight. Just be honest with what you feel instead of having to keep it inside for fear of being judged. LOSE your cool in front of the set, or your boss.

It is better to let all your bottled up emotions out NOW, than accumulating it for years and then one day showing up at your college campus shooting everyone in sight. Just be honest with what you feel instead of having to keep it inside for fear of being judged. LOSE your cool in front of the set, or your boss.

Yes you will probably lose the set, or your job, but at least you have more self respect. Of course if you've been practicing your assertive state by going back and forth from passive-aggressive, you will be much more calmer handling a difficult situation from your job, because you don't have all that bottled up emotions inside.
So not only do you stay "cool", you must also offer something of value. A very common BT tactic for this is humor. Because when a girl is laughing, you temporarily disable her rationalization process as well as making her more emotionally receptive.

Instead of her trying to elicit an emotional response from you, you've turned it around or "flipped the script" and she's reacting to you instead.

Think of it like jiu jitsu. You are redirecting your opponents energy AGAINST them, essentially saving yours. Whereas if you just DEFEND, your opponent is still in a position of power or on the OFFENSIVE.

When you stay cool, it means that her "attack" isn't working in which case she will just keep attacking. but if you were also able to turn it around against her, it becomes much more powerful and she will realize sooner that you are no match for her and that RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!

Basically you AGREE to whatever box she is trying to put you on, but you frame it in whatever way you like. For our purposes, frame it as something that makes her CUTE or likeable, or as an indication that she is ATTRACTED to you, since she REALLY is attracted to you if she is testing you in the first place.

She is just making sure that her feelings are for the "right guy..."
In Jiu Jitsu terms, think of this as a "Grapple". When an opponent is trying to grapple you, you need to be able to STAND YOUR GROUND and still have the position of power (or staying on top of him when your both on the ground).

This comes down to your VALUES and how much your willing to live by it. Let's say someone is busting on you racially, with small penis jokes or whatever. I would actually turn the small penis joke around but anything else, you need to stand your ground and CALL THEM ON THEIR SHIT.

Face it, they are IGNORANT.

You are a civilized person and they are less than human with their primitive mindsets. You will most likely lose the set but ask yourself...
If you actually did have some standards and she was forcefully disqualifying herself, then LET HER. It's not your problem if she insists on being an uncivilized ignorant human being.

The fact that she is actively disqualifying herself puts you in a position of power because what she is trying to say is that you are TOO GOOD for her and is only willing to hook up with guys in "her level".

However if you are still chasing or trying to win her over, it means that you value HER more than YOURSELF and that is SEVERELY UNATTRACTIVE, because the way attraction works, NOBODY wants to date someone who is not "better" than them.

You may have lost the set, but you don't care, because she didn't fit the bill. But you can bet that she is still thinking about it and noticing you talking to other girls as if it didn't phase you at all.. believe it or not she will be more attracted because she is still emotionally responding to your stimulus.
Even if they don't, and they STILL persist in making racial jokes, it makes YOU the better man because THEY are the ones who are emotionally responding to your stimulus.

The fact that they HAVE to go out of their way to make FUN of you shows that they see you as a THREAT or at least, still bothered by you whereas your just having a jolly good time with OTHER GIRLS and they have no effect on you.

So in essence they are ATTRACTED... may not be in a positive way at the moment but that's besides the point.

OK now lets look at it from their point of view. Lets say that the girls (or people in general) think that THEY are better than you because they are WHITE and your not. Well, that only exists in their reality.

If you actually do believe that they are better then you, or are wishy washy about your sense of value, then you will act accordingly and they will LOSE attraction. But if you KNOW your values and know what you will and will not stand up for, the one with the stronger reality wins. It's the age old frame control concept.

It's a little tough to control the frame when you don't have control over yourself in the first place... so do that first ( Go back to the above steps). Then you need to develop a CONVICTION for a belief that is empowering for you.

Its going to take some time but I think using Tony Robbins' system for using reference points on good beliefs and creating doubts on "bad beliefs" really helps.

Anyways, bottom line is, no matter how much you try to FAKE girls into liking you with "yes and..." which DOES increase your confidence the better you get at it, the only real solution is to work on yourself to the point where you become IN LOVE with yourself.

-Toy Machine (Las Vegas, NV)

Signed, Asian Playboy

Related Posts

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,