"I actually noticed “approach interest”. I knew that my body language and confidence was higher. Also, because I really pretended I was alone at this club. I realized that I could hang at a place like this."
-Gatsby (NYC)
I am off to San Francisco/Jose area for a Group Bootcamp with two Asian brothers.
In the meantime, I give you Gatsby's report on the third day of bootcamp. Notice the ongoing transformation from birthing pangs (as seen on the first and second day) to the realization of self and determination.
Day 3 – Independence.
I was much calmer than usual today.
My inner game was torn up and shredded to pieces the night before. I got 2 hours of sleep cause I had to stay up and think, think, think about what went wrong.
I considered quitting. I thought to myself, “The hell with this. I go to a great school, I come from a great family, I’m going to have a successful career. Why do I need to put myself through this crap?”
But I couldn’t. I had seen the Matrix. God damn the red fucking pill.
So I was back at APB’s hotel, going over the ABC’s of attraction. Then, we got suited up.
During the taxi ride to “Bed”, the club we went to on our first night, I told him “Don’t push me into sets. I’ll find them. Just watch.”
APB replied, “Whatever you want.”
So we entered Bed, and I immediately got myself a Cranberry Juice. I stopped drinking yesterday. That shit DRAINS your budget!!!
I opened a 3-set, which went stale QUICK. I noticed I wasn’t getting discouraged. So I went upstairs and approached another 3-set, a Blonde9, Brunette 7.5, and a Blonde5. Blonde5 was having a birthday. It was a good set, where I got to know all of them pretty well and be-friend them. Lasted about 20-25 minutes.
Good. Warming up.
Then I opened a mixed set – EngagedBlonde8 and some Asian guy. I pretty much exited when the girl told me that it was her fiancee’s birthday party. (Her fiancée was white, not the Asian guy.) Oh well.
Then, I went outside (it’s a rooftop bar) to check out the view and opened an Asian6.5 by asking if she knew that Pluto was no longer a planet. She looked at me as if I was crazy but I plowed and plowed until it became a decent conversation.
Then, I moved towards the other side and opened one of the girls in a 4-set with “Where’s the Hudson River?” She was a Polish5.5 and after about 5 minutes of conversation she introduced me to Polish8, Polish7, and Polish7. I was in.
I remembered my body position and I leaned against the wall, and the 4 girls were facing me. This would my best set. I scanned for APB to see if he’s watching, but I couldn’t. Damn him. He’d be proud.
Anyways, Polish8 gave me the most IOIs and kino. (I realized later on that my inner game and limiting beliefs didn’t allow myself to fully believe she was attracted and I was too anxious to escalate because I was thinking “What if she’s just being friendly???” But in retrospect, I realize that my sexual anxiety and fear of escalation rejection had prevented me from isolating and escalating her. She was real smart, too. She was getting her MBA.)
2 of the girls left so it was Polish8 and Polish 5.5. After about 30 minutes of talking, Polish8 and Polish5.5 told me that they’re going to go downstairs. Polish8 waited for a second, but I just said “I’ll see you around.”
I should’ve said something like “Wait a minute. I want to show you something.” AHH. (Funny thing is, I run into Polish7 and she asks me if I want to see her friend again. I said, “Nah, don’t worry about it.” WTF? I should’ve casually replied, “Sure, tell her I’m upstairs.”) AHH.
All this time, I have no idea where APB is. I kind of gave him the night off.
I approached another set. Blonde6.5 and Brunette 6.5. Both were fitness trainers from upstate NY. Set went well. Blonde6.5 bought me a drink!!! My first drink. (I got another cranberry juice.) Yayyy. There wasn’t real attraction but it was still fun.
I finally found APB with these 2 British girls. He told me to go direct on these 2 blondes who were the “life of the party.”
JerseyBlonde8.5 and JerseyBlonde7.5. I went near them twice, but I chickened out both times. But I realized… if I don’t go direct, I probably won’t be able to sleep the rest of the night since I’ll be thinking “Why didn’t you, why didn’t you.”
So I went up to them and I said “I saw you guys across the room… and I just had to tell you two that you girls are beautiful.”
They responded well and enthusiastically. Then… sexual anxiety kicked in. I just made quick small talk and told them I had to go. APB saw this. And I think he was pissed. He went to the 2-set to debrief them.
“What happened?”
Blonde8.5 replied, “It was really cute. He thought we were pretty.”
APB asked, “Why did he leave?”
Blonde8.5 replied “Oh, probably because I have a boyfriend.”
Blonde7.5 said, “Oh, but I don’t. I would’ve talked to him and stuff… but he kind of RAN AWAY.”
APB asked, “Oh, he ran away?”
Blonde7.5 said, “Yeah, he was cute… but he kind of walked away.”
I know of this conversation because APB told me later, and he says “You fucked up. One of the girls was single and you could be talking to her right now. But you had to run away. Because you were scared. You were scared of sexual rejection.”
Painful… Lesson learned.
During the night, I actually noticed “approach interest”. I knew that my body language and confidence was higher. Also, because I really pretended I was alone at this club. I realized that I could hang at a place like this.
I was content. Maybe I’m rationalizing because I didn’t get anything of substance – phone # or any type of kiss-close, but I was happy w/ my progress. I felt good in the club.
-Gatsby (New York City)
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