How to Attract a Woman, Part 5

[This is the last in the series of articles on "How to Attract a Woman" and all the attraction switches in females. The conclusion to this series will be triggering Sexual Attraction- one of the most universal sticking points I've seen in every single one of my Asian students- which will be in my newsletter. I hope to come out with before or on Valentine's Day (I'm currently having problems with my internet connection again). Here are the links to How to Attract Women Part 1, How to Attract Women Part 2, How to Attract Women Part 3, and How to Attract Women Part 4 of the series.]

Let's talk about the next attraction switch that falls under the heading of Looks. We've already discussed Physicality and how your physique and body language helps play a part in triggering attraction, both general attraction and sexual attraction. Now we're going to examine Style and the difference between Peacocking versus Fashionably Edgy and which one is right for you.

8. Style (Looks) - Style is the manner in which you dress that captures notice and conveys sexuality. It enables you to visually trigger the previously stated attraction switches like Being Different & Unique. However, one thing that I've consistently noticed with my fellow Asian brothers is an intense fascination with ill-fitting, dark, dull colors (black, grey, etc) to the point that it looks like the unofficial uniform of Asians, be they FOBs or American born. In order to stand out from the crowd, to be noticed, and to convey an image that defies any Asian stereotypes that a girl may hold consciously or subconsciously, you must have a sense of style that takes you beyond the rest of the Cornfeds and Guidos.

There are two ways this can be accomplished: via Peacocking in extreme gear or being Fashionable in a social context, but still one step above the rest of the mooing herd.

A. Peacocking - The term peacocking means to dress in a loud, outlandish, extreme manner in order to capture attention. Like the animal itself, peacocking displays bright colors and creates sensory overload in the thought processes of men and women alike. Advocated by Mystery (which I have a review of his ebook and recommend despite the emphasis on peacocking), at it's height, peacocking was wearing New Rock boots, painting one's nails black, wearing Dr. Seuss hats, excessive amounts of bling-bling, pirate shirts, tight leather pants and wearing anything from extreme goth to metrosexual that bordered (and quite often crossed) homosexuality.

The advantage of this was that if done properly, or even improperly, the Pick Up Artist would attract attention and many times be opened by girls verbally or nonverbally. He's the center of attention of the entire room simply because he defies everyone's blueprint of what's considered socially acceptable. No one knows what to think of him. Is he a rock star? Is he important? Who is he and why does he think he can get away with wearing clothes like that? By peacocking, you encourage girls to approach you and when they do, it makes life so much easier since you're not the one having to initiate the conversation. She's intrigued by you, wants to figure you out, and it's your chance to engage her.

The obvious disadvantage is you're also going to be approached, questioned and sometimes outright insulted by guys (and sometimes girls) who are seeking to put you in your place. This is commonly associated with weak frame control and lack of congruency with the image that you're conveying.

If you're a nervous computer nerd and you're wearing a pink feather boa, you're going to get shit-tested.

In all honesty, I do NOT suggest this for the newbie PUA, especially if you're still at the stage where approaching and initiating conversation is still a sticking point. Then you're fighting with approach anxiety, blanking out, AND being shit tested by guys and girls. You don't know where you're going right or wrong because you're struggling with multiple difficulties. Rather, if you want to peacock, I suggest a slow, incremental upgrade of your wardrobe so that you slowly become accustomed to the clothes and gear that you're wearing, while at the same time improving your approach and conversational abilities.

For some beginning Pick Up Artists, even wearing a simple hat can be an extreme exercise in congruency if you're not used to it. Or even for a would be seducer, opening the top button of the shirt to show a little chest and manly sexuality is a little too much. So take baby steps before plunging head first into the realm of peacocking.

I experimented with peacocking, but never found it to my liking. However, I do have two tuxedos that I had custom made, one black and one white. The white one I wear for more extreme peacocking occasions, but it's a simple, elegant white tuxedo with mandarin collar that has red Chinese symbols embroidered on it. Captures quite a bit of attention when I'm dressed all in white from the suit to my shoes.

B. Fashionably Edgy - On the other extreme, but still dressing beyond what others are wearing, is having a sense of fashion that's still within a social context but still gets you noticed.. It's wearing a few unique items, but not necessarily ones that defy societal norms. It invites intrigue and interest, but without the extreme notice or shit tests. This is what I prefer and how I dress.

The disadvantage is that while the would be seducer is still noticeable, he won't be approached by girls as often as you would if you were peacocking. You're going to have to master your approach anxiety if you haven't already because you won't have the luxury of sitting back with a big LED sign across your chest and wait for girls to come to you. It's also more difficult to achieve because you have to go out and actively search for the right pieces and coordinate your clothes as opposed to buying anything that's flashy from Hot Topic or the women's clothing store.

Obviously though, the advantage is that it can usually be worn in most social settings, you'll be shit tested less, and it's easier to maintain congruency with your visual identity.

In every city, there's a fashion district with small little fashion boutiques that can suit the needs of the PUA fashionista. In Los Angeles, it was obviously Melrose Avenue. And there's going to be one in your city as well- it just may be hard to find. There are a few places at the mall like Armani Exchange, Express for Men, etc. that will have a few nice pieces stuck between the generic crap. Avoid truly generic places like The Gap and Banana Republic and above all, avoid dull dark colors (AX has some good stuff, but I've noticed a lot of Asians go there for the standard Asian uniform. It's like they're building an Asian clone army with gelled up Dragon Ball-Z hair, tight pants, black shirts and black jackets).

Whatever identity you have, go for it, but with a flair. If you're emo, dress emo but one step above. If you're a business man, dress like a businessman but with a flair to your suit. If you're a cowboy, be the best damn cowboy in the room. If you're a surfer, dress and look like the most laid back surfer in the room.

It's having a few unique or uncommon items that people don't normally wear, but also ones that don't invite ridicule. If you're Asian, avoid the typical dark colors unless it's contrasted with a vibrant red, white, pink, etc. Wearing layers is also good if you're on the skinny side.

For example, myself: I have several of the fashionable blazers that have designs and prints on them. They range from ones I bought on Melrose, to all over Europe, and custom made in Asia. The other tuxedo I have is more muted, classic black tuxedo jacket but it also has Asian calligraphy on the front and the back. You'll never see anything like it because it's custom made, but it's not too extreme. It attracts notice and I'm opened by girls and guys, but not as commonly as if I was seriously peacocked.

Another jacket I have is a dark blue one with a red phoenix on the front and back. Overall a very cool, noticeable design that's particularly stylish when combined with a vibrant color like red or pink. Jeans or pants typically have a main pattern (ripped, frayed, blasted, worn, painted, wrinkled etc) but that don't combine too many motifs at one time. You don't want a look that's too busy, otherwise that's dressing a little too loudly. They're not tight (unless you really like the metrosexual look), but rather boot fitted and comfortable.

Hats, wearing random ties, white shoes, flashy belt buckles, sunglasses, flipped up collars, the first three top shirt buttons undone, motorcycle jacket, long coat, a nice necklace or other piece of bling are all things that a PUA can throw into his ensemble, but still not necessarily push the Don Juan over the edge so long as he's only incorporating a FEW elements at a time instead of throwing them together like a Frankenstein experiment gone awry.

It's a hard thing to learn and like so many other things in life require some experience and experimentation. My best advice is to go with a friend who is noticeably fashionable and learn from them. Observe and take notice of naturals out in the field- what are they wearing and how can you be one step above them. Read a few Asian magazines and see what's hot on MTV.

Slowly build up your wardrobe and see what works for you and how women respond to it.

Related Posts