(This article is intended to be part of a week long running series of posts on the subject of what women's attraction switches are and how to trigger them.)
If you don’t already know by now, women have multiple attraction switches. Like men, they too are influenced by aesthetic beauty. But where we as men have the advantage is that women also find money & power to be an aphrodisiac. As men, we're pretty single minded and attraction is caused by outer beauty (pair bonding, emotional attachment and love are created outside of attraction).
And beyond the entire looks and money/power dynamic- as any would be Don Juan, Casanova, pick up artist and so forth can tell you- is Game: your personality, your charm, your sense of humor, your sexuality, your dominance and everything else that isn’t determined by your genetics or your wallet size. It's everything about you that you can convey and hopefully have SOME control over.
With Game, it allows you to compete against good looking guys and rich guys and anyone else that might have the advantage over you.Game is the only Equalizer you have over someone with the right looks, money, and race.
So you have the three main attraction switches: looks, money/power and Game. Another thing to realize is that attraction is a totally emotionally and physically dependent response. Like David DeAngelo from Double Your Dating would say, “Attraction isn’t a choice.” If you have the qualities AND you convey those qualities, then she becomes attracted to you. If a beautiful woman walks into the room, you can’t unconvince yourself that you’re not attracted to her, you simply are.
With women, it’s more like heating an oven. Unless it’s a purely physical and therefore visceral reaction, you have to heat her up as a function of time. Push too hard on the attraction, meaning going from cold to nova hot in a short period of time, can virtually leave her utterly emotionally confused, but at the same time triggering DEFCON alerts in her mind and watch those self-protecting mechanisms go up (colloquially known in the seduction community as ASD, anti-slut defense... an example being the CLUB MAKEOUT GUY).
The idea is to trigger her attraction slowly, but steadily. I can’t take credit for the idea, but there are- in my experience- numerous sub-switches in the Top 3 switches. That particular credit goes to Neil Strauss, of “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists”, but really, like Wall Street there’s nothing new under the sun. Nothing I’m telling you hasn’t already been around before, it’s just that with modern day man, we can articulate and pass on our field experience for the benefit of others.
So, let's go over the first couple of basic attraction switches:
1) Safety – You must show her you are safe to be with. This isn’t intuitive to most guys, but for women it’s always a concern either consciously or unconsciously. Rape, mugging, and assault are all real dangers that women face. The nice thing about being Asian, however, is that we are almost always considered safe (unless you’re going down the entire bad boy route). Many times I’ve pulled girls to my car or the hotel and they simply felt safe with me because they knew nothing BAD would happen. No roofies, no rape, just a whole lot of fooling around that may or may not turn into something else.
2) Ambition OR Security - You must show ambition, motivation and/or job/financial security. This harkens back to my previous statement that there are three main attraction switches. Job security falls under the money/power switch while ambition is more of an overriding emotion of passion and drive. That’s Game. You should be passionate about what you do or what you’re striving for. That’s what makes a struggling artist/musician so attractive to women. They’re passionate about what they do and their artistic expression. It’s something that’s also infectious and adds an element of adventure, energy and intrigue to a woman’s life.
OK, that’s it for now. Each main attraction switch: Looks, Money/Power, and Game have multiple sub-switches that can be triggered in order to warm a woman up to you. Every day until the end of the week, I’m going to post one attraction switch, discuss it, and how you can convey those qualities.
And one final note, there's a slight, but important difference between not just attraction, but also SEXUAL attraction. I'll try and get into that as well as time goes on.
How to Attract a Woman, Part 5
How to Attract a Woman, Part 4
How to Attract a Woman, Part 3
How to Attract a Woman, Part 2
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