Ahoy my scalliwags! I've been getting a lot of emails, both positive and negative, on my ongoing AM/BF article series. I appreciate everyone taking the time to read and comment, regardless of whether or not you approve of Asian Men being with Black Women or vice versa.
So anyways, here's the FINAL part of N'jaila Rhee, writer of the Blasian Bytch Blog, on her advice for Asian Men trying to date Black Women! Go here for Part 1 of her article!
"Why is it a bad idea to dog Asian women? You see even if the guy was doing it in a way that he thought complemented me, it raised a question to how does this man see women. If “all Asian women do X” then what does this man think “all Black women” do? Not to mention if a man has so much distain for the women in his family who reared him, loved him and supported him I damn sure don’t expect him to magically have no contempt for a woman that did none of those things. "
"For many little black girls we were taught early on that most of the world wouldn’t be too keen on treating us like princesses. No one was looking to take care of us and in turn we were encouraged to be self-reliant individuals. This has been interpreted by some as being stand offish or masculine, but I think its just another expression of femininity.
As a result of this it takes a certain level of intimacy and trust to show the man in our lives what is bothering us and to share our burdens. Sharing fears, and problems even on a trivial level was a way for me a test of sorts. I wanted to know how deep a relationship could go. When men gave me cold responses I would automatically put them on the long list of people I figured I’d be supporting without getting support in return. This led to disaster because of my assumption that all relationships were built on the same unspoken rules as the ones I watched growing up.
It’s a give and take, in learning about my potential suitors lives and cultures I was able to show them about myself. We actually were able to talk about sensitive issued that otherwise would have remained mysteries. What was important to me was that he was man enough to ask questions and learn instead of going on his preconceived notions of what a black woman should think and feel.
The last and most easy red flag to avoid that has put my relationships to a screeching halt was listening to how a man talks about his own ethnicity and culture. I have never gone on a second date with a man that put down Asians especially Asian women around me.
Why is it a bad idea to dog Asian women? You see even if the guy was doing it in a way that he thought complemented me, it raised a question to how does this man see women. If “all Asian women do X” then what does this man think “all Black women” do? Not to mention if a man has so much distain for the women in his family who reared him, loved him and supported him I damn sure don’t expect him to magically have no contempt for a woman that did none of those things.
I also have walked out on the men that brought up race to an extreme extent. Yes I understand we live in a racially obsessed society but if you spend most of our first date talking about race I’m not learning about you the individual. Well, other than the fact that you too are obsessed with race.
This can manifest in your talking about all your exes in racially categories, acting like certain groups were prizes over others, and complaining about Asian women dating non-Asians. The later was always a deal breaker because it comes off as extremely hypocritical and bitter.
If you are on this date with my Black ass but you sneer at the Asian women two tables away from us with a Black man you have become extremely suspect in my eyes. Honestly I would question how much you are on this date with me because you have interest in me or are you just trying to “even the score”. Either way , on a first date with a Black woman that’s not going to be a good look.
All in all if you approach a Black woman you are attracted to on the merit that you think she’s attractive, interesting and just plain irresistible by all means go for it. A man that is genuinely interested in a woman is always going to be more appealing. If you think of black women as some last frontier to be considered when nothing better is on TV, by all means keep chasing other colors of the rainbow. You’re not doing us any favors and we’ll treat you accordingly."
- N'jaila Rhee (The Blasian Bytch)
Labels: Black Women, Blasian Bytch, Guest Writers, N'jaila Rhee