Everything you do non-verbally is how everything you're feeling on the inside is telegraphed to others.The way we view ourselves may not always be congruent with how people view us. The reasons for this are because everybody has a different interpretation of another person's character based on certain factors like outer appearance, social tendencies, and demeanor.
However, a man can exude his confidence in numerous ways that can not be mistaken for anything else (if done properly). This can be accomplished by attaining passive value and sexual attraction.
Passive value is essentially how attractive you are based on how you PRESENT YOURSELF. Like passive income (if you've read Robert Kiyosaki), it is value and attraction WORKING FOR YOU even when you're not actively engaged in gaming, flirting, or talking to someone.
It is constant and always on, 24/7, drawing women to you like the gravitational pull of a giant sun.
This can include your fashion, physical appearance, social proof (who you're around) and body language. Your passive-value is not demonstrative of your worth as a person but it is a representation of yourself to others.
Attaining high passive value is important because it elicits general attraction from others which in turn can escalate to sexual attraction. The better you present yourself to others is also conducive to attracting a higher quality woman.
The following 4 sub-categories (Fashion, Physical Appearance, Social Proof, & Body Language) can help you increase your passive value.
In the past it was seen as an effeminate trait to focus on your fashion. However, in this day and age you can still have good fashion sense and still maintain your masculinity. In regards to fashion, you should choose clothing that is congruent with who you are.
A general rule of thumb is that you should wear clothes that fit you well and give you a triangular shape in which your shoulders would be the base of the triangle. There are different attractive male archetypes with certain fashion attributes but it's up to you to choose which look you are aiming for.
Remember, your fashion is an extension of yourself and if you have nothing that shows any personality then that will most likely be interpreted to others as you not having any personality either.
We're all born a certain way and some things are just simply unavoidable. However, it would be naive to say that your physical attractiveness is not a factor in evaluating passive-value. Good looking guys will still have higher passive-value than a not so good looking guy.
You can do things like:
In any case you should try your best to work on what you do have going for you. You have the option of working out to become physically fit, clearing your acne (although this is difficult, it can be done if you have a severe case of acne), and regularly grooming yourself.
- Get a tan to look athletic
- Wear motorcycle boots for the masculine, badboy look & an extrainch of height
- Put product (not gel) in your hair
- Throw in a splash of color (like red) somewhere in your wardrobe
- Always wear fitted clothes!
Who you are around is exemplary of your social value. People have a way of determining what kind of person you are by who you surround yourself with. If a man is with a group of attractive women it would be determined that the man is most likely appealing to other women as well.
If a man is socializing with everyone at a social gathering in a positive manner then it would be determined that this man is likeable or has some social status which draws people to him. The concept of social proof is similar to a high school setting in which the, "cool" kids hang out with the other, "cool" kids.
Of course, you're most likely not in high school anymore, but people often times the people you associate with are indicative of your social status.
Generally, men with high social status are viewed as attractive by women.
70% of all communication is non-verbal. That is why your body language can be interpreted as confident or meek which in turn influences your level of attractiveness by women. Your posture, how you walk, the way you move, and even the way you sit can convey a lot about how confident you appear.
Everything you do non-verbally is how everything you're feeling on the inside is telegraphed to others. When you watch, "James Bond" films and compare his body language to someone like David Spade you will intuitively notice the difference in who appears more confident.
At the ABCs of Attraction we teach BLP (Body Language Positioning) which is an action that requires the man to move the woman around in a confident manner allowing himself to be more intimate with her without distraction.
Confident body language can be taught and when applied it will dramatically raise your passive value.
Active value is essentially your verbal attraction (which we talked about in a previous newsletter). This is your ability to utilize the verbal attraction aspect of your holistic game in such a way that it raises your active value. This is where you get an opportunity to let your personality shine.
Even though you may have interesting things to say, if you are unable to present it properly you will not gain much attraction points. Alternatively, what you say is equally as important because this is where you will be able to show what makes you who you are. Along with your passive value, your active value should also be congruent with who you are.
In the end, you are presenting yourself in a confident and holistic package.
GENERAL ATTRACTION vs SEXUAL ATTRACTION
With high passive and active value comes general attraction. People are drawn to other people who are confident and do so in a positive way. When you have general attraction however, it does not mean you also have sexual attraction.
It just means that you are someone that people like. In some ways your passive value can generate some sexual attraction, but your active value is what will create the sexual attraction. To convey to a woman through sexual conversation and smooth kino escalation that you are interested in her sexually is what will lead you to something more intimate.
Ultimately your outer confidence is something that you have control over and can change. You are judged by your actions. When you put yourself in the most positive light by increasing your passive and active value women will naturally be drawn to you.
Labels: A - Attitude Attract and Approach, Body Language