Showtime here. For the record, I don't call my female friends pivots because I also don't call my male friends wings (unless they are a wing). I have some friends who simply are unable to have a female friend that they're not having sex with, but I find the relationship to be beneficial (For the record, you CAN still be friends and have had sex.) when it doesn't focus on the sex. I reserve that privilege for other women.
I've learned a lot about being around a group of my female friends over the years. Sometimes, I would be the only guy in their circle of conversation and would listen in on when they would talk about an unattractive and needy guy or another guy who was horrible at sex. Sitting in and listening not only gave me some insight on what women talk about, but also what things to avoid in regards to dating women. For a long time, I've developed a pretty good understanding of how women think and it really helped during my interactions with other women that I was sexually interested in.
With my female friends we would playfully slap each other's asses, I would grab their titties and they would grab my crotch... that kind of thing. This makes it easy to sexually escalate with other women in a social setting because the level of comfort in sexually escalating without making it weird is telegraphed to the woman. This in turn raises your attraction level.
Conversationally, you're more attune to the, "double-talk" that women frequently use. What I mean by double-talk is the implied meanings of what a woman is saying to you. So many guys screw up when a woman is trying to tell them that she's free for the night and the guy takes the message too literally. For example: "I'm still drunk and my hotel is across the street." If you don't know what that means then you should take an ABCs of Attraction Bootcamp.
As far as the in-field stuff goes, your friend becomes a pivot. This adds more comfort and attraction to the women around you. What this does is it gives you social proof that you may not have gotten before hand. Women can tell that you're an attractive male to even have female friends, and they feel comfortable even APPROACHING you when you're out in the field. Why make your life harder?
And sometimes, I would rather be around a pretty girl than my boys. It works out well if you're not interested in having a girlfriend but want the company of a woman in a non-sexual way. This is a rare thing to want, and call me whatever you want for wanting to watch When Harry Met Sally or have a friend to cook with but it just gets really gay if you watch with your homies.
Arguably, you can still have sex with your female friends or just have a fuck buddy and it would still instill the same confidence in a man but I find the friendship to be more lasting if sex isn't a major component of the relationship.
So where to find female friends?
Go to a place where you'll be every week that has women. This can be some dance class, a book club, or some place that you've been wanting to spend your time. I'm in college right now so I have friends that I meet from classes, but I've also made friends from acting classes or recently from a cold approach at a nightclub.
Women are everywhere and the more time you spend with women in general, the more your comfort with women will be conveyed and your number closes, one-night stands, or anything else that you want will become more solid.
Labels: Entourage, Pivots, Showtime, Social Proof, Wingwoman