Sydney Boot Camp July 09 - Review and FRs
I wasn't sure what to expect - i knew it was a 4 hour lecture and some field work each day, and I was going to be with JT, Johnny Wolf and Wiliam!!! I signed up about 3 weeks ago - this was definitely not enough time to do all the homework, and readings. I managed to read 2 books and write up one natural opener before camp.
I came in and expect a bunch of nerdy guys who had come here as a last resort, but pretty much everyone seemed like normal asian guys. JT, Johnny Wolf and William are there. The first thing I notice is their hair styles - Will and Johnny with the mohawks and JT with the spiked hair - and they were all dressed in a very cool way.
William takes 4 of us and we go over our sticking points. I get stuck at Comfort trying to move to direct, (on those rare occasions that I do get to Comfort). I also have Approach Anxiety. Most of the others are in the same boat - one student has trouble going from D to E. William reaffirms that the bootcgamp will cater for guys from every level of game and that all our sticking points will be addressed.
JT goes over stages A & B, and most importantly, the walk of khan! Confidence and a huge smile when coming in. Johnny teaches me his wedding opener and we memorize it. We then practice the opener on the girls they have brought in. Since I wear braces, my smile isn't as prominent. JT makes me show all my teeth. It feels awkward doing a bigger smile, but it looked better. A lot of BT spike examples are shown.
William and Johnny also teach me about posture. I work in I.T, and I have a natural slouch from working in front of computers. I am taught how to breathe correctly, and how to stand properly. I will also need to work out to build my back/shoulder muscles so that I can hold a better physical frame, as i am skinny.
In the field: (continued after the jump)
We go into the field and William takes me and a fellow student to a Bar. William adds that we must plow through each set until he comes up to tell us to stop.
William: 'see that 5 set there? Go'
I promptly follow his instructions and walk up. I am scared but I hide it well. I open two of the girls. The other three immediately turn away. I go into my natural opener 'is it ok to kiss a woman 20 years older than you?'. I realise that one of the women looks like she's 40. I talk to her for a bit and the second younger girl turns to the main group. I am stuck with this one. The woman thinks this is a dare that I've come to talk to her. i tell her its not. I mention that I like to dance, and I tell her I can dance most things except salsa. She asks if i can do tango. I say no. She says can I do ballroom. I say no. It's become a verbal spar, and I want to leave, but William wouldn't be happy, so I keep on plowing. I try to hi-5 her, but she's holding her purse with both hands, but she is still talking. She's a dentist. I told her i had a dentist do my braces. She says an orthodontist should have done it, as its illegal for a dentist to do so. Oh. More awkward chat, and eventually I leaves - she saw herself above me during this whole conversation, and I didn't like it.
Second set I open a group of 3 girls, with wedding opener. Unbeknown to me, my wing had already used the same opener, and they tell me that some other guy had used the same opener! "oh really?", they say yes, and recite the opener word for word. I just play with them on what they answered, and then somehow I switch topic and keep going. The opener is meant to just open, even if it was used 5 minutes before. We talk, but again, not may BT spikes, and she seems bored. I might be focusing too much on keeping a low voice and I am probably am comning across as boring. Her friend behind her is now talking to her and my target turns around. I am left standing there on the end of the table, blatantly being ignored. I feel not so good. I stand for a few seconds, smile, and then I just walk off. William then tells me to go back in and to use a boomerang line on her. He is crazy, but I do as he says. I use the line on her and she says "what?". I repeat the damn line like a robot, and her cockblock friend interrups the space between us and says 'excuse me, my friend doesn't want to talk to you! go, go!'. 'pleasure meeting you', and i depart. At this point I should feel terrible, but I suppose I felt quite normal. I found it a little amusing.
set 3: she walks by and I ask the opener. 'yes!' and she continues walking. My kino turn wasn't strong enough to stop her. Will just says she was a bitch. lol
set 4: at the bar. a girl to my left. wing on the right has already opened the girl next to me. I am terrified, and i ignore her. William comes and whispers in my ear to open her. ok, so I open her. She is ok, and so is her friend, next to her. we chat and then they get their drinks and depart. i forgot to bt spike again.
set 5: at the bar as well. Got some conversation going, but not far
set 6: william sends me to a 2 set. tells me to sit next to one of them and open. Not in a million years would I have SAT DOWN and started chatting like it was normal. I sit down and open. this is in one of the loudest rooms of the place. surprisingly they are open and talk. its one of their birthdays. the other girl has the same birthday as me and we take photos. wing then comes. we talk about height, and we get girls to stand up. bad move as they have to dance, and since they were conveniently standing up they left. wing tried to number close but it sounded very rehearsed and even i felt awkward. told wing afterwards about the no. close - at least he tried while i didn't do anything. Note to approach more seated sets
set 7: open 3 girls at a table. they are from a country town visiting sydney for the weekend. set is hooked but i have nowhere to sit. one of the girls stands up and i steal her seat as she gets another drink. i hit on target. wing comes in and talks to the second girl. we get along well and talk for a bit. eventually they leave, to go to another club. she didn't invite us along - maybe i didn't go direct soon enough?
set 8: William tells me to open 4 girls at the table. I walk up and do the opener. One of the girls is actually a guy.. with really blonde, straight hair. A mixed set. I talk to guy and the girl target next to me. Conversation goes into instruments . i mention i would like to learn harmonica and i say we could be in a band. William comes in to wing, but realises the blonde is a guy and he runs away. lol. I keep chat going for a bit and i eject.
set 9: wing pulls me into a set; I have to pretend i'm american, and I pull off my southern drawl accent. Unfortunately two of the people in the set are from california, so i confess that i'm a local. we talk and then suddenly wing runs off. I then politely depart
set 10: at the bar, open a hot indian and aussie, they're from melbourne and looking for clubs. we have to leave, so i asked for a number and she gave it.
Day 1 review
I felt alright after day 1. i am able to open sets at bars, but haven't i've had to be sent into seated sets. it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be though
William agreed i basically had no problems going into sets. my AA was definitely manageable.
Day2: C & D
Today was C&D - comfort and direct interest. this was unfamiliar territory. JT hit it when he said most of us were just the entertaining guy, and not the sexual guy that attracts women. That what I was. I reflected on the two times immediately before bootcamp when i had kiss closes, was the times when i became a sexual agressor.
Johnny comments on my yellow t-shirt. it's pretty horrible. During break I put on my backup black shirt, and its much better.
we practice on approaching seated sets.
JT goes into a whole load of compliance tests, both general and sexual tests we could use. I am amazed and how many different things constitute compliance tests. I think back to an experience a year ago, where I was with a hot blonde, a friend of a friend. She complied with 3 of the sexual compliance tests JT had outlined, and yet at the time I didn't have the balls to pull the trigger, and we are now just friends. I fantasize what could have happened if I took the bootcamp last year - then i silently curse myself for not taking it earlier.
we practise using the silencer, in the event we are approaching sets in a loud venue. took me a few times to get it right. I am reminded to keep my stance, and to keep the chest up. It's hard to break habits.
we practise DHV, story telling, and improv exercises. Johnny helped improve my DHV. If i had done my homework i would have had 10 DHV stories but I only had this one to help me out. This was all in comfort.
we then get taught the wolf trap! that is one killer technique, and hope to use it soon. we then even talk about food, and why its such a great topic leading up to sexual direct interest.
johnny also covered how to number close and when to close after when she laughs, its so simple and I wonder why i never thought of it before.
William also goes over direct game, and we practise on the girl our direct lines. some of the lines a ridiculously daring and I'm looking forward to testing out direct game.
In the field:
We head out to a bar, where we get a lounge as home base. this time the instructors let us to our own devices to open up sets, and to bring back girls. I found it a bit tougher as I didn't have someone to push me. The little voice in my mind would give me excuses not to talk to a girl. I am honestly nervous as hell. JT was right, in that the only reason we get scared is because we have invested so much time in the interaction , we question ourselves why should we push for D, E and F?
sets 1,2: I went to the bar and opened some sets while waiting in line. Two girls are friendly, but the conversation isn't goin anywhere. I keep it up, but eventually they get their drink and leave.
set 3: I open a lone wolf and talk. she is waiting for a drink from her friend and we talk. He friend soona arrives and she leaves.
set 4: I go downstairs and open a girl at the bar. She used to live in America and is here for a birthday. I say it is Johnnys birthday (it actually is) and I say if I say happy birthday to her friend, that she would have to return the favour. she agrees. I say hello to birthday girl and her two guy friends. They invite me to sit down. I sit down and we have a healthy normal chat, guys are laughing and so are the girls. It appears to anyone else that I am part of the group. I then ask the girl to come with me upstairs to say hello. We arrive and she wishes johnny happy birthday. she talks to him, but I am sitting there like a goof not doing anything. She soon leaves. Johnny says I should have just taken control and talked to her. He did help out by using leading questions which i had to answer... but I didnt pick up the signal at the time.
set 5: I walk with xavster and he sits down next to a set and talks to the girls. I am suddenly alone, and I walk around, pretty nervous. Its very loud upstairs here, very high energy. I walk by a set of girls and come back around. 'oh yeah! walk by us again!!' they say - this was my open. i repeat the wedding opener, and i talk to two girls. the 2nd girl walks away but i bring her back in.. a bit of a bad move as she was probably allowing me to isolate the blonde girl in front of me. i get blonde laughing but she says 'brb' and asks me to stay standing where i am. i leave.
by this point in time, my energy is at an all time low. everybody around me is dancing and having fun, while I am picking up girls. I dont feel good, and my wing from day 1 tells me he isn't feeling it either. The music is so loud, and so I dance a bit to try to cheer myself up. it's not happening, as I am staring looking for other girls. I see some girls take a photo of me dancing, and so this was my..
set 6: "did you just take a photo of me without my permission?" hb: "..uhhh" me: " delete it!" haha.. i ask them to take a photo of me on MY camera, and i try to talk to one of the girls, and we are isolated somehow. Wing comes in and then opens with 'i see u have met james', and then plays the wedding opener. its coming off as rehearsed and the girls and myself pick up the rehearsed vibe. they soon leave. bummer.
set 7 (direct): i still have not done my direct yet (we are meant to do one direct open tonight), and even though i was looking forward to it I am having massive AA doing this direct approach. A fellow brother just tells me 'one set- go!' and tells me the line to use.
me: 'you are fucking stunning'. she smiles, and her friend laughs, and so is the guy hitting on her. the both approve and push us two together. i try to talk to her, but over my shoulder is this guy, who seems to be the guys friend. after a question to her, he whispers in her ear, and I assume they are together. Bad assumption, as they probably are not. I leave, having my energy broken, but in hindsight I should have amogged him somehow.
I sit back down with Johnny and tell him I'm not feeling it. He reminds me that I need to keep the energy high. Another student comes and sees me, and takes me to help him divide and conquer his set:
set 8: I come in. There are 3 girls, and he is about to take one girl up to see Johnny. We banter for a bit, and we accuse them of being racists (jokingly). I called the alpha girl (the one not smiling) a 'terrorist', cause she wasn't smiling. That didn't make her smile either. She ended up going upstairs with wing and I am alone with HB. HB insists I go upstairs, but I say no, her friends told me to stay. this keeps going, and I just remember the line from the lecture earlier 'look, forget about everything, lets just start from the beginning - My name is James'. we get along quite well and swap stories. Sadly during comfort, her friends return, and I leave soon after. Her alpha terrorist friend was still stone faced.
set 9: me and wing2 open a 2 set. Wing2 opened about the yellow t-shirt i was wearing earlier. girls are from melbourne for a birthday. We say happy birthday to the girl but girl refuses to come upstairs to see Johnnny, even after promising us.
set 10: I still feel anxious. Johnny sends me into a 2 set. I walk up and they are speaking a foreign language. "hey! what are you guys speaking? i just heard this weird language.." "we're speaking austrian". They are the hottest austrians I've ever met. I see a black dude behind them staring at me, but I don't stare back. He is probably amazed that I had balls to talk to these chicks. We get along very well, but I had two girls, and nobody to help me divide and conquer. Eventually black guy comes up and taps me on the shoulder. i wonder how he is going to amog me:
"hey remember me? we met last week". I look at him. I dont know who he is. "we met on thursday. my name is elton". oh my god, now i remember. Elton is a french tourist, and the girls are confused as me and elton hug it out. i showed them photos of me and elton from last thursday, and so I happily involve elton in the conversation - as it was time to divide and conquer. sadly elton doesn't speak english very well and he politely ejected soon. Soon after, the austrian girls had to go to the toilet. i tell them that if they could tell me if i was boring to my face. she insisted that i wasn't and that she'd be back. they never came back. Best set of the night.
set 11: xavster has opened a lone wolf and called me over. why? she is russian, and i guess that xavster has trouble progressing with conversation. i get her to agree to play the 5 questions game, and to give xavster a massage if she loses. just before i start the game, 2 AMOGs come. Now there are 4 guys trying to hit on this one girl. He amogs well. he befriends us, and i try to physically put myself in front of him but he's way too big. he whispers in her ear, and makes banter talk. he banters with his wing. they create intrigue. i keep talking to big amog, which left xavster time to talk to russian girl, but xavster brings amog back into conversation. eventually she leaves, and now there are just 4 guys. the amog tells me he's read the game. the two amogs leave.
set 12: 2 seated asians. i open with wedding opener. they hi five 5. i sit down, but i probably sat on the wrong side. she is facing her back towards me, and i am tyring to talk to her, she is replying but from a place of 'i am above you'. wing comes in, but unfortunately its not enough. my target says
HB: 'oh so youre double teaming us?'
Me:"well, I could say the same about you two"
about 30s later
me: 'blah blah blah.. '
hb: 'ok you can go now, youre boring me'
holy crap. what do i say. i acknowledge and kept on plowing - this set was definitely gone.
hb: 'all you do is talk about yourself'
me: 'lets talk about you'
hb: 'what school did u go to?'
me: 'blah blah'
hb: 'oh so you're smart. i went to a westie school, im too dumb for you'
so i passed that test.. but what was i to do from there?
eventually they went to the toilet. i was pretty ok with it. Perhaps more banter and BT spiking would have helped, as when I approached they did have big smiles on their faces. Trying to plow and recover isn't very easy.
It was 1.30am and we left.
Day 2 review:
A general shocker. My energy was low throughout and only after that good austrian set then my energy had gone up. A lot was learned today.
day 3: E & F
Got in, and I am beginning to feel the effects of lack of sleep. so are the others, including Johnny, who is catching some z's before we start the day 3 lecture.
We talk about mixed sets and how to properly approach the different types of mixed sets. We also learn about AMOGging, and what the different ways are of doing this without causing trouble. there was nothing to really fear as most of the time the guy a girl is with are just friends or just they just me that night. We then practice amogging each other. This was quite a fun exercise.
We then talk about escalation and deciding what to do with a girl. JT goes over the timeline and areas of a nightclub and the best times to pickup. There is more on extraction ( a checklist) and this is pretty detailed as Johnny goes over how your place should be. Will then goes over LMR as well and how to avoid it, but also how to counter it if it does come up.
We then do a final 5 minute practice set with a girl to do A, B, C, and a DHV. I was pretty afraid to do this but i think it went ok. Even the girl gave feedback.
JT, the two girls and Johnny critique each of our styles. I have never styled my hair. i am asked to style it and possibly put a brown streak into it. I also do not have broad shoulders. Johnny recommended to get a blazer/jacket. One of the girls recommended a good store in chinatown that sell really nice jackets. In the meantime I could go to the gym. My off white shoes didn't match my white belt. JT also commented on my necklace, which I got from india. It was too big (3cm) compared to my frame, and suggested I get a smaller necklace - the girls agreed.
Tonight we are to amog each other as the exercise. We break for dinner and we go to a bar.
In the field:
set 1: I go to the unisex toilet and open a girl, who cannot operate the foot-lever basin. We talk about shoes, foot sizes. her male friend is looking at us and i include him in convo. we are now comparing shoe sizes. wing comes into toilet 'is this a shoe shop?' - funny line. we keep chatting but eventually we have to leave, and I lose them.
set 2: Johnny opens a 3 set with me and wing. we pick a girl each, but wing loses his girl quite soon. I am with glasses girl. I try them on, and we swap some stories. Friend comes and takes her away. Johnny then flings off his girl onto me and we talk. Soon her friend comes and takes her away too.
set 3: JT tells me to open a 2 set at the bar. normal me wouldn't do so, but I did it. wedding opener. hi 5. we talk banter. her friend is a cross of cameron diaz and kirsten dunstz. after about 5 minutes wing comes in and we talk, more banter. wing sits down. I realise ive been standing for ages and I sit down too. we talk more. my target is laughing her ass off. she says she's drunk (yes), but she has work the next day (no). wing brings up topic of sitting at a lounge instead of stools. girls say ok later, but they need to talk. wing suddenly ejects, and I am stuck - i thought we were doing ok - so we sat down. girls never sat down with us. JT sees a photo of me sticking my tongue out in a photo with Kirsten Dunst. He tells me to never do that again.
set 4: JT sends me to wing Minh who is talking to 2 girl set. I dominate table and ask Minh to introduce us. I wing for Minh. She is a canadian girl who is well travelled. I kino and get some h-5's and BTs, and lots of comfort, but she isnt reciprocating or IOIing me. I do a role reversal and ask her to dump me for killing her cat. It's fun but I dont know anything else to say. more fluff talk. at one point Minh is making moo noises, and we are both distracted. Not good, I need to control my girl. More talk but Minh has to eject as he wants to go to the next venue. A photo and we eject
we enter and it is LOUD. intimidated right away to approach anybody.
set 5: Johnny sends me to mixed set. I open, and the guy and 2 girls give their opinion, but leave to go outside. Damn.
set 6: lone wolf. i ask why she isn'd dancing. I dance about and she says she is waiting for friends. I eject. I should not ask these AFC questions, but I couldn't think of anything else. I should have perhaps gone direct on her.
I sit down with JT and tell him my concerns. He says the club is high energy and that there is little comfort stage in places such as this.
set 7: 2 asian girls. I am dancing, and I spot an asian girl staring at me twice. once should have been enough. I come up and ask dumb AFC questions to her and girlfriend. They are students, I try to dance but I barely know them - she isn't having any of my grinding.
set 8: a huge tall blonde nobody is gutsy to talk to. the instructors send each of us in one by one to talk to her. Its my turn, and I tell the tall blonde
me: you are the tallest albino asian i have ever seen ( a line i made myself )
her: what's an albino?
I tried to explain but I don't think the poor girl understood. Why was I trying to pick up a girl by explaining to her what an albino was?
me: oh don't worry
i eject... after I brain farted.
later we see JT come up to her and just talk to her and hold her hands. It's amazing seeing a tall blonde bend down to talk to JT, as he stands there. He hadn't changed his stance at all for her, while I was on my toes trying to get to her ear. She gave him a huge hug as well at the end.
Final critique of me: Instructors did not believe I was 25 and thought I was 18. My boyish personality was getting the best of me, and girls were not taking me seriously. I thought about some of the interactions, and I did get a LOT of 'I thought you were 18/19/20' remarks from women. They hit the nail on the spot. It was recommended I have some DHV stories about man of action. I should have done my homework. I had no problem approaching but I just needed that push to start walking to sets. They critiqued the other guys as well and recommended courses to take or things to do to help improve ourselves. It was really useful information for each of us and not some generic hash.
Thoughts on bootcamp:
After all that, I wouldn't say I was shocked by the whole experience as I knew what I was in for. I would say that though, my AA is definitely gone down by a whole load. I now know exactly what is wrong and what is right with myself. I can now improve on what I am deficient in. When I am in an interaction I know what stage of the ABC model I am in and whether I am doing things right or wrong. This is great as after an interaction, I don't have to kill myself wondering where I went wrong.
I would have liked to do the AMOGging but it wasn't the best venue. I hope to catch up with fellow alumni from the bootcamp and organise an AMOG night out with each other.
I have more information, tools, skills on hand. I was hoping for a lay this weekend, but you can't have everything. What I got was a system to do things right, and I am sure the next few months are going to be much different for me!