It's 11 fucking AM and I just got home from one of the fastest turnaround nights I think I've ever exerpienced bar/club wise.
I love my new camera. Now I can take pics of some of my more insane moments.
Random blonde I met last night.
[NOTE: R-rated Nude Pics censored because of Blogger and Google policy about content.]
First off, I went to meet Groove up at an "Old Faithful Bar." One you know is almost always good and you can depend on it for fun, drinks, music and women without question.
Alas, as in all things, bar/clubs do have a life cycle. For me, it started that very day when I went to get my hair cut and re-highlighted.
Warning signs that the imminent demise of a place is just around the corner if it already hasn't:
So yeah, the highlight of the night at "Old Faithful Bar" was conning a waitress to give us free shots. Whoop-de-doo.
- The promoter says something like, "Yeah, I'll be at 'Old Faithful' where I promote, but I'm going to 'X bar' later."
- When one of your Natural buddies who goes out MORE than you says something like "Yeah, 'Old Faithful' has become a more collegey/ghetto scene. I'll show up but then I'm going over to 'X Bar'."
- Another sign is when the BARTENDERS are drinking MORE than you. They're so bored they have to blitz themselves into oblivion just so they can make it through the night without slitting their wrists.
- Groove points out that this is SMU/Texas colleges' Spring Break so most of the horny coeds are partying elsewhere.
- But, the number 1 warning sign, like the weather vane signaling crazy Tornado Season Devastation time, is when a STRIPPER says almost the exact SAME thing. Seriously, think about it. Dancers make the most of their money on the weekend. See, these sexy part chicks usually kick it crazy fun Civilian Style DURING the week (unlike your average Joes who blow their paychecks during the weekend) and so have a VERY fine instinct when to move on to greener pastures.
Groove stays behind to meet up with a chick he sucked face with over Saint Patricks Day (ended up being a bad call on his part, but who can really judge in hindsight???). I roll over and randomly meet a dude I know who's there for a party doing bottle service. He gets me in, thank my random fucking LUCKY STARS.
Gentlemen, there was no fucking way I would have been able to get in on my own without serious GREASE MONEY. Yeah, this place is a "Members Club" where you can spend $10K for a membership, but usually a little Bouncer Game or at most a slipped $20 would have been good enough.
Like some a stampeding herd of cattle that changes direction at the slightest tilt of the leading bovine, EVERYONE seemed to have naturally showed up without direct knowledge. Like there's some sort of supernatural, telepathic grapevine amongst the Denizens of the Night when a place has become a rotting carcass and only the vultures and lamers are still going, but they move on to fresh meat.
I walked in... FUCKING INSANE.
Not only had the "regulars" moved on, but apparently a HUGE herd (or is that bevy?) of strippers were there too...
To Groove... buddy ol' pal... wingman of mine, former student, APB Team member, you fucking mised out! LOL.
But I'll let the rest of the pictures (five in total including the titty shot pics) tell the story of my insane, utterly random night...
P.S. Yeah, I got laid for the Obviously and Naked Truth-ily challenged.
Labels: Blonde, Club Life, Groove, Lay Report, Nude, Pics, Stripper