"Next, you need to check your body language, vocal tonality and projection, eye contact, and your non verbal communication to see if you're communicating all the right things like being comfortable in your own skin, confident, demands respect, and etc."
-Grungey
From Grungey the Day Gamer, an exclusive article on improving your ability to tell entrancing stories.
Tool # 1 - Spontaneous Story Telling
I've been receiving a lot of question like:
- What do you do after the opener?
- Where do you go from there?
There's a lot of different things that you can do and it all depends on the situation that you're in. If the girl you're approaching is not in a hurry then you can jump right into a story after you've opened her. If she's in a hurry and it's a busy environment (or some place where It's hard to meet girls) then you'll have to use other tools that are more powerful.
Spontaneous story telling is very powerful if done right. It accomplishes a lot of things as well.
- You start to lead the interaction (you display subtle dominance here)
People love to be led, in general and if you demonstrate some qualities that you're a leader then you're scoring some points in her book.
- Displays a lot of personality
A lot of people take value from others when they meet them. They always either ask something from them or bore them to death with the same old conversational lines they hear over and over again. When you tell a story you bring value to people's lives. You're becoming interesting to them.
- It gives them an insight of who you are as a person
Everything you say or do says a lot about you as a person. There are things that you communicate verbally and non verbally. When you tell a story you communicate on both levels. They listen to what you say and how you say it. Constantly ask yourself this: What am I trying to communicate? Am I getting my message across?
You want to be demonstrating good qualities about yourself with the stories you tell people (e.g. Adventurous, trustworthy, protector of the ones you love, ambitious, humorous, romantic, and etc). Next, you need to check your body language, vocal tonality and projection, eye contact, and your non verbal communication to see if you're communicating all the right things like being comfortable in your own skin, confident, demands respect, and etc.
Telling a story build comfort and trust because you're opening up to somebody you don't know. People usually don't just go up to people and start telling stories. Well some do and they're either super social, story tellers, or just used to talking people's ears off.
Well if you're one of them then you're on your way to becoming successful. Why? It's because learning how to express yourself is the first step in getting good at meeting women.
So let's get to the important part:
How do you make a good story?
Here are some terms that are important in story telling and I'll discuss only a couple: Opening Line, Sequencing of events, character development, engaging the senses, and emotional projection
There are a lot of different things you can add on and I'll talk more about it in my upcoming E-book.
Probably the most important part of telling a story is your vocal projection and your delivery.
Let's take for example a comedian and an actor, Give him the best script created by the best minds in the world and when performance day comes, the presentation can still bomb.
It can still suck. On the other hand, you can give a guy who's good at telling stories a very boring and ridiculously bad story and he can turn it in to something interesting.
What's the difference between these two guys?
The way they present it. The way they deliver it.
Every time you're telling a story I want you to ask yourself these questions
- Am I passionate about what I'm talking about?
- Am I Enthusiastic?
- Am I paying attention to everyone that's listening?
- Am I relaxed and comfortable?
- Is my voice loud enough?
- Am I talking slow and clear?
- Am I projecting the emotion I need to project through my voice? (If you're telling a scary story sound scared, if it's suspense then use a lot of pausing)
- Am I pausing at the right times?
- Am I using a wide range of facial expressions?
Here's your exercise for this week. I want you guys to learn how to be social with everybody. So this week say
"Hey, what’s going on?" "How are you" "What’s up?" "How's it going?" or whatever greeting you prefer to at least 6 people per day
It doesn't matter what their response is, you will still launch to your spontaneous story afterwards.
So here’s quick formula for a spontaneous story
1.) Omg, the funniest/craziest/most embarrassing/ wildest thing just happen to me yesterday/today/couple minutes ago.... (pause)
2.) Describe what you were doing that time, who you were with, what you could see, hear, smell, feel, and etc...
3.) Then slowly insert: stuff like "and then I realized" "all of a sudden" "out of nowhere" "then out of the blue" "and surprisingly"
4.) The climax part of your story
5.) How did it make you feel?
6.) Does that ever happen to you? (throwing the ball back at her)
You want to talk about emotions because you want to communicate on her level. You want her to be able to relate to you. Men usually communicate with logic while women value emotions more. It's something they can relate too. You want to engage all her senses, as much as possible when you're telling a story.
Sample of a spontaneous story that happened to me yesterday. Notice that there's nothing great about it, It's all in my delivery
"Omg, the most embarrassing thing just happened to me awhile ago. I woke up this morning, I look at the clock and I'm like "SHit, gotta rush for class". So I grab some food, a quick protein shake, and I'm off to class. It usually takes me about 15 minutes to walk from where I park in the morning, since I was running a bit late, I parked in the paid parking next to my building, It's was just like six bucks, so I rush to class. I walk in, and I don't recognize anyone at all, so I walked backed out, and looked around. It was weird because that was the exact same class room I was a week ago.
So I walked backed in, and I was like "fuck it" maybe I don't have a good memory today. I sat down in class for about 35 minutes. I love that class, the teacher is very passionate about the topic. It's not too short and not too long, just about right. I'm saying this because I have a really short attention span, I get bored easily, so If someone or something is not interesting I just tend to drift off and walk away.
Anyways, out of nowhere, I feel a soft tap on my shoulder, I look over and I see this gorgeous blonde girl flashing a big smile, she says "Hey, It's my first time seeing you here, I really like your hair and your style..." and I'm like thanks I love your taste, we chatted for a bit and at the end she's like "You should see us play one of these days" and I'm like "Sure will"... after that, something snapped in my head, I slowly look at my notebook to see the schedule and then it occurred to me... that I was in the wrong class.. I came in 1 hour earlier.
SO I walk out of class and there I saw familiar faces waiting out the door and they're all like "What are you doing there? hehe" .The most embarrassing moment so far. I turned a bit red and just wanted to cover my face with a plastic bag or something.
Have you ever felt that way?
(I add this last part afterwards)
Later on that day, I was looking at posters around campus and I see a familiar face... Turns out that the girl I talked to earlier was one of the Volleyball team superstars at school. Weird. I'm not even up to date with sports in our school. Like, we supposedly have one of the best College basketball teams in the nation, like I heard that the basketball players are treated like celebrities here, and If ever I crossed paths with them I would never know that it's them..."
There you go. That's a sample story for this week. Try this method out for a week then let me know how it works for you.
Remember, be social and talk to everyone.
If you have any comments or suggestions shoot me a line.
Learn more about day game at Captivate to Connect.
- Grungey10-
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