I'm off to Los Angeles for an exclusive 1on1 bootcamp. But before I go, I thought I'd drop a few thoughts on why so few people actually succeed at this endeavor.
While attraction, seduction and picking up girls isn't a rocket science, it CAN be a difficult endeavor. People who get into the Game can usually be divided into two groups: guys who didn't develop those social, flirting and sexual skills at an early age and are finding out that they have to compress some ten years of social education and emotional intelligence into just a few years to those guys who DID develop those skills, but want MORE of an edge with women.
Primarily, I'm going to be addressing the former group.
There's a concept called the 90/10 rule (or 80/20 rule) where 10% of the people do 90% of the work. Or in the field of dating, 10% of the male population are "servicing" 90% of the single (and sometimes not so single) female population.
This can also be applied to PUAs (Pick Up Artists) and KJs (Keyboard Jockeys). Sadly, the majority of people who TRY and get into this game simply end up being the 90% keyboard jockeys with their only goal to engage in mental masturbation. The few 10% of the PUAs who do go out, only a few them will actually achieve their goals.
What does it take for a wannabe PUA to last the (minimum) 2 years to become an AVERAGE Pick Up Artist? I'm going to list certain points that I think are key that helps these guys last long enough in the Game to succeed.
- Realizing You Have a Problem - This is a toughie. No one likes to admit that they have a problem. No one especially likes to admit that they have problems with women because society TELLS MEN that it's supposed to be NATURAL. That women will simply FALL INTO YOUR LAP like mana from heaven. Which is a bunch of crock, but it's what society programs into us. And the first step is admitting to yourself that your dating lifestyle isn't what you want it to be. If you don't have a problem, then you're one of the few quasi-naturals who are in to the Game who want BETTER results as opposed to RESULTS. Congrats, now move along because this isn't meant for you guys.
- Comfort Zone and Change - or more specifically, the willingness to step OUT of their comfort zone. Seduction isn't logical, it isn't intuitive to most guys, and guys make the same mistakes over and over agin with women. The venues that have the highest concentrations of hotties (night venues) are also intimidating, emotional and hostile. It takes a certain hardened mindset and determination to inure the pain of going beyond what one is comfortable with. It's like that first time you went to college. Sure it was kind of scary venturing to a different state or country, but you have to do it in order to grow as a person and get your Pick Up Degree.
- Determination/Discipline - in order to last, you have to go out and practice. Constantly. Every week. Every weekend. One night a week barely cuts it (though it depends on where you're starting off at too). If you're at the newbie stage of still having approach anxiety when it comes to women, allot at least 3 nights a week. Regularly and consistently you have to push yourself and maintain a schedule that still allows you to go out, date women while juggling your career.
- Learning Ability - this can actually be a double edged sword. Too much thinking and reading leads inevitably to Analysis Paralysis. Learn the material and theory, yes. Absorb it like a SPONGE because there are SO many different styles out there that you have to select and choose what you want to incorporate into your own unique skillset and lifestyle. But don't let it overpower you in the field with all that theory.
- Killer Instinct - the more I teach guys, and especially Asian guys, the more I realize the need for men to have that Killer Instinct. That visceral reaction in a man that says, "I SHALL succeed. I SHALL overcome. NOTHING AND NO ONE WILL STOP ME." It's that thing inside you that says, "Whoa, this fool just tried to AMOG (Alpha Male Other Group) me" but instead of shying away from confrontation, responds with, "He's going DOWN!" It's that athletic love of competition, when two teams face each other on the battlefield and who channel the nervousness, anxiety, and fear into adrenaline and LOVE of the competition and LOVE of the Game.
- Time Dedication - it takes, on average, TWO YEARS for someone to become a COMPETENT (not good, but average) PUA. That's right, TWO WHOLE YEARS. Or, if you want to reframe it, it takes you two years to get your Bachelor's of Pick Up Artist Degree. In order to get your Master's, you need probably four years of training, education and field work. Obviously, your mileage may vary depending on where you are in life and how much time you can devote to it, but Pick Up is NOT a magic pill. You won't become good overnight. It takes time, dedication, and determination to stick it out through thick and thin.
- Love of the Game - and what can help you last is the Love of the Game. That feeling of ENJOYMENT when it comes to flirting, socializing, seducing and sarging. That RUSH when a set goes well. That feeling of contenment when you're out with your friends and simply ENJOYING the moment, the environment, but most of all, the PEOPLE.
- Dealing with Failure - successful people and PUAs can't dwell on failure. Learn from it. Think about it after coming home from the field. Ruminate on it. Let it marinate for a minute. Wallow in the rejection. Even EMBRACE it. VENT if you have to. Then... DISCARD IT. You've learned, you're still alive, it's time to move on. Never dwell on failure, just on what YOU CAN DO BETTER.
Well, that's it for now. It isn't an exhaustive list by far, but I believe these are some very essential qualities that a burgeoning PUA should have. I've seen a lot of newbies get all excited that they can now successful attract and date women, only to be flustered by how much hard, constant work it is... like exercising.
Most newbies gowere on that HONEYMOON period after a bootcamp where they can SEE that social programming and the "Code of the Matrix" that underlies every male/female interaction, the rules of attraction and why they are the where they are. But after a month or three, they drop out because they can't take the lifestyle, the time committment, and the harshness of reality.
Do you have what it takes to succeed?