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From the Horse's Mouth: "Does Race Matter in the Game?"

[UPDATE: This blog is no longer being updated. For the very best and very latest in my continuing (mis)adventures, techniques, results, and pictures, please go to my ABCs of Attraction Blog! Thanks and I'll see you on the other side! - JT]

Then, point blank, I asked her, "Hey, was race an issue for you when he approached you?"

She paused, looked at the "Asian Justin Timberlake" and said, "He's cute, but yeah, race IS an issue for me. I don't date outside of white men and I most definitely won't sleep with someone who isn't white.""

-Asian Playboy
Update: I have struck out the single sentence that I exaggerated. Read the comments section for her rebuttal and point of view.

Tonight, I was with my two Asian students. Two great guys that have a lot of potential to succeed not only in life, but with women as well.

Now, one of my students, was described by a cute blonde the previous night as an "Asian Justin Timberlake."

This night, he approached a two set of women at Libation down on Ludlow Street here in New York. The primary target was a cute, but not hot, blonde girl with her average, semi-chubby brunette friend.

He ended up getting blown out when she asked, "Did you read the Game? Are you one of those Pick Up Artists?"

The ironic thing being that the opener was based on real life events happening in his life. But I suppose the overall structure was similar enough to be recognized.

Later on, I was sitting down when she walked past my table. I projection stopped her by projecting, "Hey! You!"

Stunned, she turned to me and I waved her over, to which I opened, "I hear you and I have a mutual friend." Blah, blah, blah. We have a couple of laughs, etc.

Long story short, I debriefed her on my Asian students and she gave me her blunt assessment of the guys. Then, point blank, I asked her, "Hey, was race an issue for you when he approached you?"

She paused, looked at the "Asian Justin Timberlake" and said, "He's cute, but yeah, race IS an issue for me. I don't date outside of white men and I most definitely won't sleep with someone who isn't white."

From the proverbial horse's mouth, gentlemen.

Now, some of you might rage and froth at the mouth. To me, that just reconfirms the status quo.

An Asian Pick Up Artist has to do one of many things, namely:

  • Be better.

  • Play better.

  • And Game harder.
There is no Second Best in Pick Up. No one gets a trophy for coming in second place in Pick Up. There is only LAID or NOT LAID.

And in order to get laid as an Asian American Man, YOU HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.



Signed, Asian Playboy

Related Posts
>> Freakonomics: The Cost of Interracial Dating for Asian Men
>> Instructor APB: Racism Field Report 1 in Greenville
>> Asian Men Want to Take Over the USA and White Women
>> Sticking Points of Asian Men in Dating White Women, Part 1
>> A California College White Girl's Perspective on Trying to Date Asian Men
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Anonymous Azndudeman said...

Great post, APB. Reading it got me emotionally charged.

8/20/2006 12:03 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is funny considering that I was the "cute but not hot blonde" girl. You took some liberties with my quotes...I didn't say those things. When you asked me if race was an issue I paused and said, "I'd like to say it's not." and left it at that. I didn't think that a club was the right place to have a this kind of a conversation. It's pretty lame that you have to make stuff up for your posts.


8/20/2006 12:46 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cool, girl.

Care to tell us exactly what you said?


8/20/2006 1:43 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was asked if either guy was "fuckable" and I said no. I wasn't physically attracted to either, and they were both pretty awkward...I like confidence. Even though he called me "not hot" (thanks) I do have to give playboy credit for having just the right amount of confidence.
I didn't say ANY of what I was quoted as saying...Playboy took quite a few liberties and read into what I said to make it what he wanted. I have lots of thoughts about the "Is race an issue" question, but I didn't want to have that conversation in a loud club...not the right place and not the right time. Have I been attracted to an Asian guy? Yes. Would I hook up with an Asian guy? Definiely. So I just don't think it's fair that I was portrayed like this, that's all.

8/20/2006 2:21 PM

Blogger The Asian Playboy said...

Not that it matters in the grand scheme of thing because a great deal of the people in the world do have their racial preferences.

Here are the key points of the conversation, in my mind:

1) When I asked you if race was an issue with you when he approached, you said YES (but you'd like to say it wasn't).

2) When asked if he was fuckable, you said NO.

3) You said that the Asian guy was cute (but apparently not fuckable).

Did I hyperbolize the conversation? Yes.

But was the gist the same? You betcha. Race was an issue for you even though he was cute.

And, hey, that's OK. Race is, and has been an issue for TONS of people. You're not the first, and you won't be the last.

8/20/2006 5:15 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, talk is cheap either way...and I believe the only HONEST answers you get are from an anonymous (not face-to-face) survey or observed actions. As "Jesse" was put on the spot in person, obviously she tried to force out a PC answer.

Well, anyone can hypothetically say they'd fvck a Martian when put on the spot, but based upon their preference for and overabundance of White men...that hypothetical would likely never happen in their lifetime. So, let's be honest, it's a de facto "no."

But hey, if you have no complaints with White men and you never want to taste the Orient, so be it. We're not going to call the EEOC on your azz!

8/20/2006 5:22 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's another interesting question here: who is more racially-blind when it comes to issues of sex, men or women? Probably a PhD thesis in there somewhere.

Also, if she didn't say those exact words, you shouldn't throw qoutes around it. Qoute what she did say, then bold your gist.

8/20/2006 6:35 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does a woman saying "I have a boyfriend" mean absolutely nothing to PUAs, but a woman saying "I wouldn't fuck an Asian guy" have blog-worthy significance?

8/20/2006 7:23 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Addendum: Everything is a test.

8/20/2006 7:25 PM

Blogger The Asian Playboy said...

Who's more racially blind would be a difficult question to answer. I do know that according to child psychologists, that children learn to distnguish races at the age of 2 to 3.

And that the first two things that are identified upon first impressions are: race and gender.

As to why this should be important on this blog. Well, that should be self-obvious.

This is a Pick Up/Seduction/Dating blog. AND it is an Asian blog.

For all non-colored peeps, rejection via race IS THE MOST DEVESTATING AND HARMFUL of all rejections. Period.

And this comes from field experience. Rejection via a bad approach, nervousness, lack of confidence, ugly clothes, etc. compares NOTHING to rejection due to race.

A man can fix confidence. He can fix his fashion. He can eliminate nervousness. He can fix his approach.

But he CAN'T and he SHOULDN'T... fix his race.

8/21/2006 12:04 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

As an Asian guy I've seen race being used against Asians and other races. This is one situation where being average does not help.

Privilege and favorable stereotyping aside, the men who've been able to plow past race as an issue have always had something no other guys (preferred race included) had.

So, in order to make race not an issue when it is, a guy has to be EXCELLENT, and plow through.

8/21/2006 1:32 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does a woman saying "I have a boyfriend" mean absolutely nothing to PUAs, but a woman saying "I wouldn't fuck an Asian guy" have blog-worthy significance?

Well, apparently it has enough significance for you to comment on it, too? :D

8/21/2006 6:20 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. I agree that it's on par with the IHABF shit test.

Most women are conditioned NOT to say, "Yes I will cheat on my BF" in the same way they are conditioned NOT to say, "Yes I will hook up with someone from a socially marginalized racial background."

2. Yes, everyone knows race matters in a negative manner. But there's no point in reaffirming something that is moot.

3. Let's focus on what is within our control: playing harder and better.

As I say, "I put the 'asian' in 'caucasian'."

8/21/2006 8:49 AM

Anonymous redshirt said...

Not to defend Jesse there but I think that on a "general" level, yes, race is an issue, but on a "specific person" level, it isn't.

For example, how many Asian guys here was a white/black/non-Asian's "first" Asian guy? (redshirt puts his hand up, many times). And I'm the same way. Normally for example, I don't really dig Latin girls, but there are at least 5 of them I know that I would gladly date in a heartbeat.

I've had non-Asian girls tell me that I am not like what they usually see in an Asian guy (nerdy, completely awkward, social retard, just focused on school/computers, etc) so they can relate to me.

Many times I have been told, "I never considered dating an Asian guy but you're different" or "you're the exception". Why? Let's face it, in general a lot of Asian guys are seen as nerdy, awkward, don't get it, because simply put, they are.

So if you speak with a fresh off the boat accent, sorry but that is most likely to turn off a non-Asian girl (and even some Asian girls). THIS IS FIXABLE. btw, anyone ever heard Asian Playboy speak? He's got killer voice tone and phrasing. Nevermind Asians, he can school some of those white motherfuckers how to speak proper English.

Or if you get one of those weird ass haircuts that I'm sure are really pimp in Hong Kong or Thailand, well sorry but Sarah the White Girl in Wisconsin thinks it looks gay and wouldn't be caught dead with a guy (white Or Asian) with that kind of hairdo. THIS IS FIXABLE.

Another thing, unless the girl specifies she wants to try it, don't take her to the dingy smelly Chinese restaurant that you love that serves chicken feet and thousand year old egg. White people I notice have especially weak stomachs (why do you think white food is so fucking bland and boring??) Us Asians can eat spicy and exotic food all day long but these folks are biologically not able to handle it. THIS IS FIXABLE.

And my fellow Asian brothers, fuck man, I am so sick of seeing you guys putting fucking Sailor Moon dolls and other girly shit in your car. Ditch the fucking dolls from your car an stop getting girlie cars like Volkswagon Beetles. THIS IS NOT ONLY FIXABLE BUT SHOULD BE MADE INTO LAW.

What else, oh yeah, like the haircut, I notice a lot of you guys wear clothes that are really in... if you're in Singapore or Bangkok. Sorry, this shit doesn't fly if you're in Boise Idaho and you wan to hook up with the farmer's blonde daughter. Even I think this shit is stupid and I'm Asian.

I'm sure there's more but finally, here's one that even my brother (who is one hell of a player) does. Stop bragging about your fucking car, job, what school you go/went to, and how much money you or your family has. I get it! Fuck, I drive a brand new BMW, I have a great job, went to business school. Guess what? THE GIRL DOESN'T CARE! And if I brag about it, it DOESN'T turn her on or make her interested. In fact it turns her off. STOP IT!

I understand completely though, my Asian mom told me that's what girls want, and you'res did too. Well, guess what? MOM WAS WRONG. Well, maybe they do but they don't want you to brag about it! So don't even bring this shit up.

Finally, STOP WATCHING ASIAN MOVIES AND LISTENING TO ASIAN SONGS. Good fucking Lord, I've seen those Cantonese movies, every fucking guy is a fucking AFC. No, it's even worse, they're fucking manginas. And the songs are all about whining about love and how needy they are. STOP IT. THROW THAT SHIT OUT. It's like you'll have this kung fu hero with the magic sword and he can kick everyone's ass. And what happens? His bitch gives him a hard time and what does he do? Stupid shit like give the sword to her (and then she gives it to the bad guy) and then he gets his ass kicked by the bad guy and goes into a 20 year depression where he learns even more kung fu and finds another magic sword and then wins the girl back. Seen that movie a few million times. No basis in reality. STOP WATCHING THAT SHIT. And more importantly STOP GIVING THE BITCH YOUR MAGIC SWORD, GIVE HER THE DICK.

There. I've said my piece. I stand by all this advice 100%. Fix the shit I mentioned and race will NOT be an issue. And if AMOG white boy makes a small penis crack, use my comeback, "You weren't complaining when I had it in your mouth". I made a blonde girl I was gaming go doggy dinner bowl when I blew a white jock type out with that one. Enjoy.

8/22/2006 2:54 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or a variation:

WhiteAMOG: I heard Asians have tiny dicks.

AsianPUA: That's right, my friend. You've hit the jackpot--they WILL slide into your ass easier.

8/23/2006 9:39 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

if AMOG white boy makes a small penis crack

Well, without fail, the more these guys vaguely brag about it, the less they have to brag about. And usually, the ones who tease others about having small dix, were teased about having small dix themselves at some point.

All 100% true. Basic field-tested psychology here. Even girls will vouch for this...after having been burned a few times with such false advertising, lol.

8/23/2006 9:55 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is from writer Irwin Tang's blog (www.irwinbooks.com), written and submitted to him by yet another writer/blogger, Gwen Zepeda:

Dear Irwin,

Here is my take on Asian American men: They are hot. They’re like Latino men, but with skinnier eyes and less body hair. And they’re better dressed. What’s not to like?
The only problem with them is, they always have mean looks on their faces, and they never make moves on me or any other Caucasian women I know who think they’re handsome.

I’ve discussed this with my Caucasian friends who date Asians or who want to. A lot of women in my generation grew up watching Bruce Lee and Five Masters of Death and Dustin Nguyen in 21 Jump Street, right? And we learn to find Asian men attractive. But we never get the idea that they find us attractive. Especially when you look at the fact that most Asian women are 300 times smaller than Caucasian women. For the longest time, I thought an Asian guy would never even look at me. Now I know better.

I have a white/blonde friend who’s married to a Laotian guy. She thought the same thing about Asian men until one day she got drunk enough to make a move on the man who’s now her husband.

My last thought on this (I can say a lot about it, obviously): I don’t want to hear Asian men whining about not getting attention from Caucasian women… if they only mean model-perfect, blonde, white women. No woman of any race wants to hear any man of any race sobbing about his unfulfilled Blonde Woman Fetish.

My boyfriend Dat is sitting here next to me. He wants me to tell you: “I’ve always liked Caucasian women, and I’ve liked Asian women, too. But, for me it’s like, I’ve tried to keep it real and date Asian women, but they like to play too many games, and they’re very timid so they won’t tell you their true feelings. Then, on top of that, they’re materialistic and expect so much from you… Whereas Caucasian women are very up front. If they don’t like you, they tell you. They don’t lead you on. They’re more open with their sexuality, and not closed-minded like some Asian women. I tried dating Asians for a long time, but it never worked out, so I had to give up on my own race. A lot of Asian women didn’t like me because they thought I was too white-washed. Then, when I’d meet a ‘white-washed’ Asian woman, she’d prefer Caucasian men. So I was fucked.”

Dat’s opinion doesn’t matter, obviously. He made no conscious decision to date Caucasian women until I told him I wanted to date him. I fell in love with him for the mean look on his face and his awesome Banana Republic style. Also, everything Dat is saying about Caucasian women? Is only true about me. He lucked out.

I hope that helps you. Feel free to ask me more on this, since I have lots of thoughts about it. And, yes, you should check out my book. It’s actually similar to yours in many ways - starts with semi-autobiographical, moves into the experimental and satirical.


8/24/2006 12:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

found this nice post and thought you people might be interested rather than fight over this racist thingy cool dating tips

8/27/2006 1:19 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course race matters. I've sometimes been in the "zone" where I was charming, funny, emotionally connected with a woman, lead the conversation of the group in a cool, laid back, but alpha way, and still got dissed based SOLELY on my race.

Many other times, I've done everything right AND ended up sleeping with a white woman, only to have her move on very quickly to settle for a mediocre white boyfriend who was more presentable to her parents and friends.

That, my brothers, is the reality. But there *are* open-minded white women out there, and as I'm sure you know, there are more and more white women who *prefer* Asian men.

So don't let the Sex in the City watching neurotic airheads whose preferences were shaped by the white-centric media get you down.

You're MEN, and the product of thousands of years of successful evolutionary Darwinism. Don't let the racist white media program your brains into spineless mush. Achieve, struggle, succeed. You can and you will if you make the effort.

8/31/2006 1:27 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Jesse" said: "Have I been attracted to an Asian guy? Yes. Would I hook up with an Asian guy? Definitely. So I just don't think it's fair that I was portrayed like this, that's all."

Wow, that's quite a different take on the situation, to say the least!

My sense (take it for what it's worth since I wasn't there) was that the student simply pulled out of a dime a dozen, mediocre, beginner's sarge. No more, no less.

When someone asks a question about race IMMEDIATELY afterwards, and keep in mind APB is a confident, direct person, maybe it's possible the woman in question ("Jesse") simply accepted APB's frame!

In other words, I believe that the interaction described by APB demonstrates that the interaction was not about race at all; instead, it reflected the ability of the pickup artist to create a strong frame or not. APB did suggest a strong frame ('this was about race, right?'), and his students didn't (what can you say, they're STUDENTS).

Let's revist the situation hypothetically: what if APB asked a more neutral question, such as: 'what did you think of those two guys? Were you attracted? Why or why not?'

This would have led the direction down a completely different road. THEN APB could've asked about whether race is a factor.

I have a background in interview research so I know the framing and wording of questions has a profound impact on the answers. In other words, APB was "leading" the interviewees in a particular direction. Almost imposing a particular answer.

Poor interview research methodology, lol, not necessarily a reflection of racial attitudes.


9/10/2006 4:40 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great thread! I agree: race is an issue, but not as big an issue as a whole lot of other things. She could be married. She could be a lesbian. She could just have no interest. You could be sick. You might smell foul. You might have said the wrong thing. You might lack limbs. You might be mute. Lots of different things are more of an impediment than race.

Race and racism are facts of life, but not that much. Even if it negatively impacts you 25% of the time, there's still the 75% when it doesn't matter.

2/22/2007 2:37 AM


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