As I listened intently to him, I could tell he was a little bit nervous. He stood far from the audience, close to the front wall and behind the podium. I guess being a great Pick Up Artist doesn’t necessarily make you a great presenter. Nonetheless, he had some very interesting points to make:
* You need to be able to create both emotional and physical comfort with women for pick-up to work.
* Living the pick-up lifestyle takes a lot of hard work: being good with women is different from being a true Pick Up Artist.
* Pick-up is like an endurance game: “You don’t have to be great, you just have to stick in.”
* Most white women have never dated an Asian man.
o Deselection by ignorance: the type of man a woman dates is based on her memory, but it does not mean that she will not date outside of her type. This is an attainability issue because the woman does not know how it would feel to date an Asian man. It is the man’s responsibility to make himself attainable by showing commonalities and accessibility.
o Deselection by negativity: a woman may not be attracted to you because of the negative stereotype she attaches to you (based on arbitrary physical traits - color, weight, penis size, etc… - aka racism).
o Deselection by physical incompatibility: a woman will gauge you based on your ability to protect her (think of body build and height). If a woman feels safe around you, she will let herself become more attracted to you.
o Deselection by cultural incompatibility: Can she fit in your family, your lifestyle, your social circle? In terms of language and accent, can she understand you? Can she understand your humor? Do you have good language proficiency, including the use of slang?
o Sexual deselection: Sexual anxiety is different from approach anxiety. Sexual anxiety is when you are afraid of escalating physically with a woman due to inexperience and hesitation.
* When opening, your focus should not be on what to say. “Hi” is the oldest pick-up line in the book and can work just fine. A successful pickup is dependent on you having a good follow-up. It’s more important for you to know how to open and have a good follow-up than it is to think of what to say.
* You can not be successful with rapid kino escalation if you are waiting and looking for IOIs (Indicators of Interest) from the woman. You have to be confident with where you are leading the girl. Obviously, choosing a woman who shows signs that she is heads over heels for you will give you a greater success rate.
* General kino lasts 1 second (ex: high five, handshake). Sexual kino lasts longer (ex: rubbing, tracing of the finger).
* If you go in for a kiss and she turns her cheek, don’t take it as an obstacle. You can start kissing her cheek, then ear and neck. You have done more in one move than what one kiss could have given you.
Overall, I really enjoyed APB’s presentation. I can see how students speak so highly of him as a dating coach, I liked his breakdown of attraction switches because it gave a lot of insights on the universal or specific values that a man can cultivate in his life to become more attractive. However, I was a little bit turned off by his focus on the kind of obstacles a minority man need to overcome to attract white women (this is what his deselection switches were about).
Labels: Blog Roll, ITotem, Lair, Presentation, Sexual Anxiety, SoCal Lair, Stereotypes, Toy Machine, White Women