Eight Key Concepts for a Successful Date (ie Day 2)

I'm off to Montreal for a 2on1 bootcamp and then later next week to Los Angeles for an exclusive 1on1. First though, I'd like to talk about some key concepts on making your date a successful one.

So, you've got a beautiful girl's number and made plans to meet up. Like any other skill and sticking point (like approach anxiety) having a gameplan for your date (ie day 2) is an essential skill to master if you're not used to dating.

Ultimately, whether you want her for a girlfriend or a quick roll in the hay, any lay is about OPPORTUNITY and LOGISTICS. You want to stack things in your favor and be in control of the situation while at the same time being prepared to handle the unexpected. So what I'm going to talk about has more to do with setting things up logistically outside of your own Game and personality.

So, some key concepts:

  1. TURF & SURF - Ideally, you want to be on YOUR home turf, wherever you go for the date. If need be, it can be a neutral location, but if you go to, let's say, her favorite bar for drinks, then you're going to be fighting the social proof that she brings and knows (the friends that shows up, the bartender, etc). Of course, it can be done, but why make things harder on yourself? If you're going to go somewhere, make it a place where the people are YOUR friends and you receive the social proof from it. Make plans to go to somewhere you know and where you can shine, be it rock climbing, the gun range, surfing on the beach, or your favorite watering hole. And if you go to one of her places, just be prepared to befriend her peeps and retake control of the environment so she doesn't get distracted.

  2. READY? AAAAND ACTION! - My own preference is going on a date that has a little twist and maybe something a little exciting. Maybe that's not your speed, but I find it to be very effective at pumping up buying temperature and keeping her on her toes. I remember reading some study where women were shown pictures of a guy before and then after doing something that got their adrenaline pumping. It was after they did something exciting that their rating of the man in the picture went up. In other words, attraction increases when she's doing something exciting. I've done things like going to beach to go surfing, to bungie jumping, to going to the one bar that has a jacuzzi that you can take a dip in while having a drink. Something different. OCWaterBoy, for example, takes some of his girls to the gun range, then the grocery store to buy ingredients, cooks at home, and then to the bedroom.

  3. LET'S ALL DO THE TIME WARP! - Another well-known concept is doing multiple mini dates on the same night. This has the effect of not only involving multiple activities to keep the night interesting, but also distorts time, making it seem like the two of you have known each other forever. Trust me, this works because I've had it done on ME before. Hit one venue, then the next, chill in the car, show her something cool, hit the next dating location, etc.

  4. HOME IN - In conjunction with the mini dates, you want to introduce the idea of going home together. Not, per se, for the end of the night romp (though she'll be thinking about it), but rather an innocuous stop at the Casa of Love in between mini dates. You go in to grab your wallet, or maybe have a glass of wine before going out, whatever. In this way, her decision to stay over at your place at the end of night doesn't escalate into her making The Decision. She''ll already have decided to come over because she's used to it.

  5. BE FLEXIBLE - Stuff happens. Weird things. Outrageous and unexpected things, but- hopefully not- boring things. When something happens (a flat tire, the venue closing down, her running into her ex-boyfriend, getting mugged), don't let it phase you. Keep on rolling and go to some backup venue. Heck, go to the playground and push her on the swings if that's all there is to do. Improvise.

  6. OFFER CHICK CRACK - No, not crack (unless you happen to have some, I suppose), but have chick crack at the domicile. Loveable, unique, esoteric, downright weird things that can start a conversation. A book on sex (I knew one guy had a "How to Be a Better Lesbian" book) under the coffee table. Maybe horoscopes, dreams, palm reading. Things that are interesting, but aren't serious and heavy. These are just things designed to keep her Buying Temperature and interest up as well as starting a conversation on your different interests and conveying things about yourself from achievements, milestones, and vunerability.

  7. STEP INTO MY PARLOUR - Have an excuse to pull her into your bedroom. You can, of course, cave man it if you're feeling the vibe and time is right (ie picking her up in your arms and carrying her to the bedroom). But if you're still testing out the waters, have something in your bedroom that might entice her to plop her plump patootie on your bed. Maybe a guitar, cool fish in your fish tank, doesn't really matter so long as it can later be reframed as, "So we just went into his bedroom to check out his cool DVD/CD collection when things just happened." Hookahs are awesome to both get a girl to your place as well as your room especially if you have a lot of comfy pillows (Credit to HeyHeyHey for reminding me of that prop).

  8. WE NEED TOYS... LOTS OF TOYS - Toys are always good in the bedroom. Doesn't have to be a 10 inch dildo (though I suppose there is that), but things that can really create a sexual vibe. Massage oil, candles, feathers, handcuffs, porn videos, hell- a PILLOW FIGHT. Whatever. You're showing her you're a playful, confident, sexual man who knows how to please a woman.

So there you go, some key concepts to keep in mind when you're planning a date and when you're on one. Happy hunting!

Signed, Asian Playboy

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