Have you ever met someone and after you met them you thought to yourself, "Wow this guy is really cool?" Sure you have.
These are the guys that seem to know somebody wherever they go and each person they DO meet really values their presence. Although the concept of, "cool" is subjective, there are some undeniable attributes of, "cool" that are universal.
So what is it about these guys that separates them from the uncool guys? Quite a bit.
I've met my share of uncool guys. In fact, not only were they uncool but they made me want to slap them in the face for being so moronic. So what I'm going to do for you is highlight the differences between the attributes of a cool guy and the attributes of an uncool guy.
If you have more in common with the uncool guy; then maybe you may want to take some time for deep introspection and fix your social deficiencies.
So here are 5 ways to be cool and 5 ways to be not-cool...
Cool guys groom wellI don't know any cool guys with horrible body odor. Cool guys understand the importance of grooming and how this transfers to their social lives. They know it's a social rule to be clean and presentable.
Uncool guys stinkI mean this literally. Uncool guys don't have any consideration for those around them and will ignore their grooming because they don't see it as a priority. They look dirty, and something so simple as cleaning yourself up speaks a lot about one's character. If this is you, consider reading "How to Get an Edge Over Good Looking Naturals!"
Cool guys are self-awareCool guys know who they are and are aware of how they are perceived. By this, I mean they know what they have going for them and what they don't have going for them. This shows everyone else that they know they're cool, but they have some imperfections like everybody else. Essentially, they're really comfortable with themselves and it's obvious. They also don't seem to judge because they've already made it known that they're aware of their own faults that there's no need to negatively make others' faults known.
Uncool guys try too hard to be coolUncool guys brag a lot and can be condescending at times. This roots from a deep insecurity that they have about themselves in which they have to put on a front to gain other people's approval. Additionally, they do this to feed their own delusional beliefs that they really are cool. They talk a lot of trash and can be overly-sensitive to anything that attacks their ego.
Cool guys have female friendsCool guys seem to know a lot of women. In general, these guys have a lot of friends to begin with but they specifically have a lot of female friends. In general these guys are making friends both male and female, but essentially their personality draws everybody in. If you want to get a start on acquiring an entourage of female friends, read "The Importance of Having Female Friends."
Uncool guys hate women Uncool guys seem to want to bitch about women as a way of lashing out for their own deficiencies. You'll see these guys complaining about how women are one way or another when their own self-esteem issues are unresolved. For this reason, they don't have any women in their lives (at least for an extended period of time).
Cool guys are authenticCool guys are authentic and friendly. They're social and unashamed of how they're perceived. They make every person they come in contact with feel really good to be around them because they are genuinely glad to see them. In fact, cool guys are just generally glad to see their friends and acquaintances. They seem to make new friends everywhere because they're truly interested in the people that they meet. It's also important to note that they are pretty good at remembering others.
Uncool guys are nice because they want somethingUncool guys can sometimes pretend they're friendly, but more often than not they seem to suck all the energy out of any interaction with others. The reason for this is because they have a very self-centered mentality that screams, "ME! ME! ME! GIVE ME!" and this is easy to spot by most everyone. While it's not uncommon for people to ask for favors from time to time; these guys do it all the time. They don't even make an attempt to get to know you, they just go straight into asking for whatever it is that's on their mind. This can range from advice, some cash, a ride to some place, etc.
Cool guys are great conversationalistsNo matter what the topic is, these guys seem to make every conversation interesting. Even if they don't know about the topic, they can still engage in a worthwhile interaction. They're also very socially calibrated so they know how to lead a conversation in any setting whether it's one on one or a group.
Uncool guys talk about nothing of valueUncool guys usually talk about something that's neither interesting or valuable. Often times they're socially uncalibrated or have developed bad conversational habits which can make conversation with this person a painful experience. This can be in the form of complaining too much about something or someone, one word answers, bragging at every opportunity, or topics that have negative connotations associated with them.
Those were just a few attributes for the cool and uncool guys. Make some of these adjustments to your mentality and you're on your way to becoming a cool guy! Of course it's going to take a lot more work than snapping yourself into becoming a cool guy, but if you make certain adjustments to yourself; over time you'll see a change in how people interact with you.
Use other cool guys you see as a role-model and try to take on some of those desirable attributes. So remember, BE COOL!
And now I'm off like a prom dress!
JT the Asian Playboy
Labels: Grooming, How to Be Cool, Passive Value, Social Proof, The Asian Edge