The Humor Files: I'm a Well Known Drug Dealer (Apparently)

So I'm out going solo when I get opened by these two girls sitting on a couch at a club.

HER: "So... Do you come here often?"
ME: [laugh] "Oh you so did NOT use that lame pick up line on me!"
HER: [laugh] "No no, I'm not trying to pick you up, here, sit down real quick."

I shrug to myself. She's not attractive at all and in her late 30s. But I'm curious as to their agenda so I sit. I was not quite prepared for her next line though.

HER: "Can I buy some Ecstasy from you ?"

Riiiight. Assuming I had some, which I don't, there'd be no way that I was going to sell to some total stranger that no one can vouch for.

I won't admit to being a total angel, but you float around with the nightlife denizens and especially the hot girls, you're bound to be exposed to those who take and those who supply. Both interesting types of people to know and like the promoters, well connected.

ME: "Listen, I don't know you, no one here knows you, but see that promoter over there? Talk to him and see if he'll take a chance on you."

She walks off and then I proceed to see a night of TOTAL gender role reversal. She'd pursue some guy and then that guy would either pawn her off to some other dude or some guy would save his friend.

At one point, she CHASED me down in the club AGAIN and had me pinned against the wall. I'm not a rude person by nature, but she was starting to get on my nerves. Some black dude that I had never met, claps me on the shoulder and was like, "Hey, bro! What's up? Long time no see!" Mentally, I was like "Thank Buddha, an out!" pull out from her grasp and talk to the guy

HIM: "Bro, it looked like you needed help."

Total guy code, if we were chicks, he might as well have said, "Let's go to the bathroom." Anyways, at the end of the night, she does end up with a couple of pills, takes them with her friend, tracks me down, and whines that she "Can't feel anything."

ME: "Bitch, I so do not fucking care. Why the HELL are you continuing to pester me with your drama!"

Bouncers come by and throw the girl and her friend out of the club. The guys cheer and all is normal in the world again.

So the next day I chat with some Asian friends of mine and they tell me it's actually a well-justified image that Asians have, apparently a lot of Shady Asians supply drugs to the Honkey Populace down here in the Big D. This wasn't the first time that I was approached for drugs, it was simply the most aggressive and humorous.

It's the leather biker jacket. I swear. I'm as pure as the driven snow.

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