"Whether it be having multiple relationships, fucking a shitload of girls, finding THE ONE, getting a girlfriend, it's up to you. I'll be the first to admit that while my game is good, it's not great . . . But I really don't care. It's good enough. I reached my goals and I got what I wanted out of my journey. I am now in a beautiful relationship, with a girl who thinks the world of me. I now know that I have the ability, talents, and lifestyle to attract women and have choice in women.Gatsby here. I actually had another article planned to post today.
But I need to write about this.
Yesterday... I sucked at sex with my gf.
Then, all hell broke loose. The old me came back. I began to feel like a loser. "I can't even please my girl." I felt compared to her ex's. I felt sorry for myself. I started telling myself, "I'm a loser. I've always been, and I always will be. I suck. I'm a fraud. I don't deserve this girl." The past two decades of self-esteem issues and pain came roaring back.
I broke down. Tears flowed. Right in front of her. I didn't try to hide them. She saw.
She got up and got me tissues. She continued to ask me what's wrong. She became concerned. I grew more and more distant. She came closer and closer... in the perfect balance of sweetness and persistence. I must've asked her at least 10 times if she likes me. She re-assured me over and over again, both through words and physical affection that she does.
I trust her. So I told her about my physical and sexual insecurities. My fear that I won't be to pleasure her. My fear that I won't be able to live up to her expectations. My fear that I'm not good enough for her.
She began to tell me everything that she likes about me. She tells me that it'll get better. She tells me that she doesn't judge me, and tells me how happy she's in our relationship.
I smile. I cry, this time in happiness. I knock out.
Why is this relevant to this blog?
I got into the game to have options with women. I wanted to be in a happy relationship. I wanted an incredible girl who thinks I'm incredible.
The above scenario is not a "PUA (pick-up artist) scenario." I showed major neediness and became incredibly vulnerable. I revealed some of my darkest insecurities. But it's okay. Because my girlfriend are in a serious relationship, with an incredible level of trust. In many ways, I felt safe telling her. And it felt fucking good to do it. The rules of a relationship and a pick-up are different.
But it's the PUA training that I've received that allowed me to meet and date this amazing girl. It's what allowed her to get to know me, like me, and appreciate me. It's the PUA training and knowledge that gave me the opportunity to show her ME. The training and information that I received through the ABC bootcamps and the community is what enabled me to be where I am today.
This is where I learned how to approach, attract and BT spike, build comfort and initial trust, kino, DHV, storytelling, set up a day2, logistics, isolate, sexually escalate, and close. I'd talk to Quality, an ABC coach, for hours and hours before my dates, to go over my "game plan." And it ALL worked.
After that, the pick-up part ended, and the relationship rules kicked in.
Even still, my PUA training and skills still matter.
I wrote in my previous article "Who is a PUA" that PUA is a journey we take to get our goals in relationships with women. Whether it be having multiple relationships, fucking a shitload of girls, finding THE ONE, getting a girlfriend, it's up to you. I'll be the first to admit that while my game is good, it's not great. In fact, most alumni and instructors are MUCH better than I. But I really don't care. It's good enough. I reached my goals and I got what I wanted out of my journey. I am now in a beautiful relationship, with a girl who thinks the world of me. I now know that I have the ability, talents, and lifestyle to attract women and have choice in women.
Will obstacles still exist in my life? Yes. Is there a possibility that my gf and I won't work out? Yes. Will I still continue to struggle through my self-esteem at times? Of course. But do I now realize that I'm a person of value, that I'm going to live a great life, that I'm going to have great relationships? Yes. And again, I thank my PUA training.
I write this article in tears. But the past 14 months of my PUA journey, I wrote many entries like these in tears of anguish. Today, I write them in tears of happiness.
For the first time in my life, I am happy. And grateful. Thank you for reading.
P.S. Take a ABC of Attraction bootcamp... for the reasons I write above.