Who is a PUA?

Gatsby here.

Let's admit it.

You probably don't read this blog in front of your friends, female friends, or your family. You probably read this blog in privacy. Hell, I usually make sure I'm alone when I write or read this.

You probably have your PUA products well-hidden, whether they are books, CDs, or DVDs, especially when you have non-PUA friends over. Yup, my collection of materials, notes, books (which are about 3.5 feet high when I stack them up) are well hidden in my closet.

If you had taken a bootcamp, you probably didn't tell all your friends that you are going to be taking a life-changing bootcamp with The Asian Playboy. They probably would have looked at you funny. Though I am now very open about it, having told quite a few personal friends about my bootcamp, at first I only told my best friend who I trust with my life.

My friend said to me a couple of weeks ago, "Dude, I don't want to be a pick-up artist. I just want to be me, man. I want to be a "natural". I don't need that pick-up stuff."

Pick-up, PUA, seduction... the community... "Are you a pick-up artist?" Sounds taboo, doesn't it... As if it's... a part of your life that you have to... hide... from the "rest" of your world.

That got me thinking... who is a PUA?

There are all these "movements," "schools," and "philosophies" in this "community," it seems. Some "schools" say pick up is about bettering yourself to have more choices with women, some say it's about being able to have multiple relationships and being able to date many girls at once, some say it's about being able to connect with that one girl of your dreams and being happy, and it goes on and on... A lot of the "schools" seem to be evolving into some sort of "personal development program for men..." but I digress. (Since I'm part of the APB team, I'm a bit biased... obviously you should know that I think ours is the best that the community has to offer... in terms of the lectures, fieldwork, inspiration, networking, alumni connections, and instructors.)

But that doesn't really answer the question: WHO IS A PUA?

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I go to business school. And one of the things that we do... is interview for jobs.

Some guys are "natural" interviewers. Smooth, polished, reserved... they just get it. They're just good.
Some guys are "average" interviewers. And they may wonder why the "natural" interviewers are so good. They may state that they are just "naturally" like that. But no... the "natural" interviewers are like that because of the way they were brought up, parents and peers' influences, previous work experiences, etc. Interviewing is "natural" to them.

And have you noticed? The "natural" interviewers have MANY offers lined up already, and the recruiters are wining and dining them to get them to sign with THEIR company. While the "average" interviewer are usually struggling to get one or two and shmoozing and woozing to get the recruiter to like them and hire them.

An interview is not a conversation. Ultimately, you want to show off your values and skills and communicate them to the recruiter.

So if you're an "average" interviewer... what do you do to get better at it?

You may get a nicer looking suit. Polish your look a bit.

Work on the opening handshake and greeting.

Be more conscious of your body language to make sure you come across poised and confident.

Prepare your answers to predictable questions - behavioral, technical, brain-teasers... and rehearse them over and over again... so that during the interview, you are READY.

You prepare answers and explanations of experiences that show off your good traits, talents, and skills that'll make the recruiter want to hire you.

You sell. Yourself, why you want to work at the company, and why they should hire you.

Overall, you're more inclined to get better, to put your best face forward, to prepare for different questions and situations (so you're not thrown off), so you could present and sell your best self to the recruiter in the interview.

Bottom line: You are prepared. You have a game plan.

I hope you're following this analogy. The interviewer is the guy. The recruiter is the girl. The job is... whatever you want out of your relationships with girls.

It took me a year to realize that a PUA and natural does the same thing at a bar/club. Except this:

A PUA has a heightened awareness and sense of his "game plan" when he approaches and talks to women. He is more aware of the what he's saying and doing, the girl's responses, and the social dynamics between a man and a woman.

That's it. I am always surprised at how "normal" PUAs are. When I first thought of PUAs, I used to expect... dancing routine monkeys who does magic tricks and read minds. I don't even fucking know... some... different kind of guy. But they're just NORMAL, COOL guys. But this "heightened awareness" is all the difference there is. You are equipped with knowledge, skills, and a game plan when you go out.

As for what every individual PUA does... it's all up to them. Whether you want multiple fuck-buddies, relationships, girlfriend, a lover, multiple lovers, or to simply prove to yourself and to the world that you're a fucking pimp... that's beyond this article and anyone else. Everyone has different goals and agendas, of how they want to utilize what they will learn in the community.

And all this talk about, "Would you rather be a natural or a PUA?" Interesting debate, discussion... and wasted fucking time. You know what's important? "What do you want out of your relationships with women?" Becoming a PUA and joining this community is one great way to get there. To realize and reach your goals and become happy in your relationships and yourself.

For me, I started out as the biggest loser virgin in the world in summer of 2006. That's when I "joined" the community and became a PUA. A couple of weeks ago, my date asked me if I was a "womanizer."

You know what happened? I almost cried. I could barely believe my ears... "Me... a womanizer...??? Me... a player???" Funny thing is, the girl thought she hurt my feelings and apologized.

I'm damn proud to be a PUA.

P.S. Become a PUA. Lock in your seat here. Bootcamps coming up in LA, Vegas, NYC, and Toronto. If you want to meet Gatsby and the best collection of APB alumni, come to the NYC bootcamp. I'll buy you dumplings and Pinkberry. =) And if you're lucky, even a Red Bull Vodka.