Overcoming Beginner's Hell - Part 2 - Support Network

"In anything you do, you need a support network. The game is no different. You'll need to find like-minded people who understand what you're doing and are doing what you're doing... Find yours... you need it to survive Beginner's Hell."

Gatsby here.

Update on APB: Ya'll are probably wondering where he is these days. After completing the bootcamp in Australia with Johnny Wolf and coming back last Thursday, he taught another bootcamp in Vegas the very next day. (The guy's a machine.) Now he's moved in to Project Forbidden City in LA. More details to come on that later...

Anyways, here's the bottom line of this post: You can't do it alone.

Nope. You need a support network to last in the game. To last till you break through Beginner's Hell and reach your goals.

The game is not complicated. It's simple. And it's played in the field. You go out --> approach and talk to girls --> go home --> reflect and learn. Wash, rinse, repeat.

However, the game involves emotions: from approach anxiety to dealing with rejection, etc. And excuses to not go out are really easy to make. And yikes, it's so easy to be a keyboard jockey. It much more comfortable to sit on a computer, browse posts, listen to PUA audio or watch video, and feel motivated. It makes us feel good. But going out... and thinking about approach anxiety and those rejections... that doesn't feel good, right? (And by the way, if you've been reading this blog for more than 6 months and you're still at the same place where you were 6 months ago, please go out or take a bootcamp.)

And I'll admit. Some times, when I used to go out, I would feel a bit weird. I'd be going over my openers and stories... and feel kind of silly. I felt like the only person in the world who's a PUA.

For those reasons, you need a support network in the game.

My support network consisted mainly of APB, APB alumni / students / wings, and "friends" on the APB forums.

APB: He's the first person who believed that I could get better with women.

APB alumni / students / wings: I met these guys through bootcamps and alumni dinners that were organized whenever APB came to town.

During the period over the summer, I went out every night for about 3 months straight. Not gonna lie, going out every night while working over 100+ hours a week was brutal, but I still did it. Every night, I mass-texted about 10 bootcamp alumni who were living in NYC, and I winged with them. Sometimes during the day, sometimes during the night. It was uplifting to have supportive folks with me, just to hang out with, talk to, and those who would push me, and vice versa. Those who UNDERSTOOD what I was doing and trying to accomplish. And it was also more fun than going out alone!

Man Cannon, a recent alumnus, and alumni have been going out together regularly over the past few weeks. Man Cannon would tell me: "Man, when we go out, we're doing our thing, but we're also just having a good time, man. We talk to hot girls, wing with each other, help one another out, it's all good man."

That's another by-product of a good support network. You develop strong friendships and relationships. I even found a career mentor on Wall Street who's also a very advanced PUA.

But I know what you're thinking: "Gatsby, I don't live in LA, Vegas, Dallas, Toronto, Houston, Seattle, NYC where there are APB alumni and active PUAs."

So? During my 3-month spurt, I didn't always have a wing to go out with me. About 3-4 nights of the week, I went out solo. And yeah, it's scary. It's lonely, sometimes. It's daunting. But I still did it. But you know what, I really wasn't alone. I'd be texting my usual wings and keeping them posted, or calling one of them just for a quick pep talk. For example, I had a couple of day games when I had fellow alumnus Obe on the phone with me while he listened to our conversations and critiqued me (and also bitch me out when I'd be too scared to approach that hottie.)

And you know what else I had? I had the forums. I posted a FR every time I went out, no matter what happened. And people would comment on them (though YellowCab DID tell me that some were too painful to read... I digress.) It was motivating to see the thoughtful advice and cheers. I wasn't alone! Every time, someone said "Keep at it, bro!" or when Jewelz would say, "I'm so proud of you!" I'd be motivated again to go back the next night! And I would!

In anything you do, you need a support network. The game is no different. You'll need to find like-minded people who understand what you're doing and are doing what you're doing... Find yours... you need it to survive Beginner's Hell.

P.S. Find your support network through our group bootcamps. Bootcamps are coming up in Toronto, LA, Vegas, and NYC. Sign up for the NYC bootcamp and you'll get to have ME in your support network. :)

Related Posts:
  • Overcoming Beginner's Hell - Part 1 - Strong Identity
  • Labels: , , , ,