Dear Asian Playboy,

Whats the difference between confidence and cockiness, whats the difference between being forward and sincere versus creepy ??

X-Man

Hey X-Man, thanks for writing in!

Interesting question and, while there are some pretty obvious dictionary differences, often times people get confused when actually employing these principles. I'll see if I can straighten things out for you:

For our purposes, confidence is the inherent self-assurance from the knowledge of our abilities or qualities. This is to say that we have particular skills and we know what a particular outcome will be when we attempt something, by weighing the process against our abilities. A gymnast can approach a balance beam with confidence because she knows that her abilities will keep her safe and that she is in control of the possibilities of her actions.

She is aware of the various outcome possibilities, so she can be confident. We know that women want men with confidence, so we try to display our confidence to them, but often fail by being too cocky.

Often times it is grossly unnecessary and turns people off. Confidence assures you that you can do something, and cockiness makes you want to tell people about how you can do it. Unfortunately, this is a very needy quality and turns women off. This is a tricky web to weave. After all, who doesn't want people to know that we're confident?

Since we know that women want men that are confident, but not men that are cocky, we are left with only the choice of demonstrating that we are confident guys by acting like confident guys. How do confident men show they are successful with women, are interesting people, and are great people to be around? By being dominant, sexual and pursuing what we want.

This is why we, at the ABCs of Attraction, teach empowerment, rather than tactics and techniques, as being a confident man will get you farther than being unconfident and having a bunch of routines.

As far as creepiness goes: I always say that creepiness is wanting something more than someone else wants you to have it, and still asking for it.

If you want to kiss a girl; kiss her. Don't ask her if you can. Women dream of being taken into closets and made love to, or meeting a stranger that fulfills her every desire. They don't dream of men that ask them if they can have sex with them, or of men that are satisfied looking at them from afar. Women consider those types of guys creepy.

Sincerity is tough, but is very powerful when executed in the proper way. I always encourage my students to be sincere in the way that works best for them. The difficult part of being sincere is that you are prone to take rejection more personally. Once you make a conscious decision to be independent of the outcome, you will open yourself up to a whole world of success.

I hope this helps,

Good Luck!

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• Dear APB: "I don't like White Girls!"
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• Dear APB: "How do I get girls to buy ME drinks?"
• Dear APB: "How do I get a date in High School?"
• Destroy Approach Anxiety with the Kickstart Opener!

Labels: Cocky and Funny, Confidence, Dear Asian Playboy

Ready to go Au Natural, gentlemen?

It’s that time again. Here's the next speaker in our Educational Outreach Series is a master of natural game who will give you some great advice on how to attract women without overdosing on routines. While at the Australian PUA Summit (Master Class Tour) in Sydney, I had the opportunity to hang out and interview one of Australia's top attraction coaches, James Marshal.

In this episode, Melbourne's James Marshal from www.thenaturallifestyles.com shows you that the REAL secret to seducing a woman can be found within her. James will unload a few quick tips on how to reach a woman’s SECRET attraction triggers and how to find her “core motivations,” by just asking a few questions.

He will also share his CROSSROADS secret, which will immediately give you options on how to deal with the information a woman gives you during an interaction.

So without further ado:


Notice how James downplays the idea that excessive conversation is the only way to seduce a girl. This should come across as refreshing for all the guys out there who complain that barraging girls with stacked material makes them feel phony.

His advice also jibes nicely with the way we run things over her at the ABCs of Attraction. Though we definitely embrace the concept of natural material, we are EXTREMELY dedicated to showing men how to attract women with a well-developed, holistic gameplan that encompasses your Inner Game, Outer Game, and Verbal Game.

In our top-rated bootcamps, we not only teach you the structure of the game; we work with you personally to develop the attitude and aura that naturally attracts women, making your pickups smoother and more comfortable for YOU.

Find out how the ABCs of Attraction can spice up your live life when I arrive once again to transform your life with Holistic Game during the Special Sydney Bootcamp in July 2010!

And don’t forget to visit James at www.thenaturallifestyles.com!

P.S. Future amazing gurus in our ABCs of Attraction Educational Outreach Video Series include Redpoleq Pickupasia and Alex Coulson from Succeed at Dating.

Labels: Alex Coulson, Australia, James Marshal, Natural Game, Natural Lifestyles, Pick Up Asia, PUA Summit, RedPoleQ, Succeed at Dating, Sydney

My flight home from London has been delayed due to volcano (I never thought I'd type that sentence ever in my entire life), but here's a heart warming story for all my loyal readers and hellraisers.

Last week when I went to the Real Man Conference, a young man came up me and truly humbled me. After years in the Community, it's too easy to get a little jaded and I'm not immune to that.

You see, this earnest, young man had flown 24 HOURS from Viet Nam to see me speak in Germany! 24 hours. Just to see ME. WOW.

To say that I was floored and truly humbled would be an understatement. Gestures like that make me remember why I started teaching the art of confidence and pick-up in the first place. Changing lives, fighting stereotypes and making a positive impact on the world beyond the material pursuits.

Not for money, women, and travel- even though it's great. It's because from my very first student and onward, they came to me because they saw me as a positive role model to help shape their lives and give them skills necessary to be successful- not only with women- but life in general.

So thanks for reminding me why it's not just great to be a teacher, but why my students are the absolute best of the best in the world! THANK YOU ALL! :-)

Now, in his words, a review of the conference...

Real Man Conference in Germany, Aachen on April 10th&11th

If I had to describe the Real Man Conference with two words, there would be no doubt that fucking amazing would fit it perfectly! I had the honor to meet one of the role models I could look up to, who gave me a lot of motivation during my journey to master my goals. I bet you guys can already imagine who I'm talking about and his name goes by J.T. aka Asian Playboy.

The first time I heard Asian Playboy was going to be one of the speaker at the Real Man Conference, I decided that there is no way I'm gonna miss that event. As a student, I can't afford to travel around the world to see J.T..

However, I had a lot of luck this time because I didn't have to travel a lot to meet him in spite of living in Germany. At that time, I was in Vietnam visiting my family and after being able to convince my parents to reschedule my flight, I flew straight to the RMC.

After a long flight and dealing with some serious jet lag, I arrived at the event totally excited to see all the speaker and especially Asian Playboy! Being prepared with a small gift from Vietnam, I walked straight up to him when I first saw him during a break and started the conversation.

To be completly honest, my first impression of him wasn't the one that I expected it to be. J.T. was not in god-like mode like I expected. However, he was just a really down to earth person who I enjoyed to talk with a lot. It made me really happy to finally meet my role model and it should come better, much better.

The Real Man Conference was hosted by Smoothdoc and David Kipping, two PUAs from the Netherlands. There were (I think) 13 speakers and I can definitely say that they were fucking amazing. There were so many different speakers with different style and backgrounds like Asian Playboy, Keychain, Paul Janka, Dharam, Orlando Owen etc. The variety of the speakers gave the Conference it's own speacial characteristic. While some were doing motivational talks, others were talking more about the techniques and tactics. It was a bless to have so many speakers!

But I'm writing in the ABCs Testimonials section therefore it should really be something about the ABCs. Well, APB was one of the speaker who talked more about the techniques and pratical thing. I was really excited to finally listen to him talkking live. Then the show finally started and I couldn't believe what was happening on stage. J.T. started his lecture with talking about me, how he appreciated my little gift from Vietnam and that I told him, how he affected my life in an incredible way.

This situation was incredible and I felt really honored that J.T. mentioned me in his lecture. What I told him before was the pure truth from the bottom of my heart and now he mentioned my name in front of the stage what makes me feel really special. When I felt that J.T. couldn't return the compliment much mure, he topped it by asking me to stand up and shouting all over the room that I get a free bootcamp. He was amazing! For one moment, I was just speechless. In my eyes, he was the fucking man! And No, I'm not kissing his ass cuz if I would, I would say stuff like how his work is sooo amazing and that he should be the best PUA on the world and AFC Adam Lyons is by far not as good as he his.

No, what I'm saying here is really from the bottom of my heart, that this man is amazing. If you read that, thank you for everything bro! Imagine me hugging you again +)

Well, but let's get back to the review part. APB was talking for 90 minutes. He showed us a lot of really usefull pratical stuff to do and he gave us a lot of information. In my opinion, it was too much information. The stuff J.T. talked about was so cool and complicated at the same time that I couldn't remember everything.

He was one of the few speakers who really gave us advice and a game plan, how to take action. What really made me smile was the fact that he was sweating on stage. Not a lot, but enough for you to see. Once again, it is proved that APB is just a person and what he could do, I want to be fucking able to do it, too. In his lecture, APB showed us a lot of fun sexuall lines, which, in my opinion, was the most interesting and fun part and he ended his presentation with a really funny story with a lot of energie. I'm gonna try out some of this stuff for sure and I'm excied to join one of his bootcamps!!

With great respect to APB and to you guys who have the motivation to empower yourself!!
Cheers,
Hung Dang

Labels: Dharam, Germany, Keychain, London, Love Systems, Orlando Owen, Paul Janka, PUA Summit, PUA Training, Real Man Conference, Reviews, United Kingdom

We discuss women in the seduction community, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Ross Jeffries, and her sister- the top UK wing girl- who has a little bit of yellow fever and only goes after Asian men for the AMWF romance, how to disarm bitchshields and how to get the HOTTEST models and female celebrities in Hollywood!

Between my solid fundamentals & unparalleled in-field training with her precision-guided one night stand game, this seminar is gonna give guys the EDGE against EVERYONE else. Be afraid...

Sign up for the PUA All-Star Workshop with Kezia Noble on April 23rd!

Watch on, McDuff!

Labels: AMWF, Announcement, Interview, Kezia Noble, Ross Jeffries, Video, Yellow Fever

WOW! I can remember the exact day when Gareth and I thought up the 12 Week program.

It was a gorgeous, sunny afternoon in Los Angeles (nothing like cold, foggy London right now :) and we had just gone out to lunch with a client to discuss what he wanted in a Pickup Program. We were at Sushiya on Sunset Blvd and had sat down in the back and ruthlessly flirted with the same waitress we always get while we waited for our client to arrive.

She's a gorgeous brunette from Denver and was studying literature while her live-in boyfriend went to film school. Typical, hipster Hollywood relationship and, while she was gorgeous, neither Gareth nor I had any interest in a cute, hippie waitress who's favorite genre of literature was, "Modern Fiction" i.e. Dan Brown. Yuck.

Either way, she was a really lovely girl and we all had a great laugh until our new guy came in. Instantly recognizable by our boisterous flirting and the other two waitresses that had joined the first in conversation with us to see what the fuss was about, we caught his attention as soon as he entered the restaurant. He shook our hands nervously and I shooed the waitresses away with my favorite James Bond line "Run along. Man-talk." 

Owing to the social constraints of our time, however, I did not slap any of them on the butt.

We sat down, ordered, and after a few minutes of friendly, "hi, howaya" chat, we got down to business. The client talked about how all the pickup programs were generally the same and how he wanted some sort of extended training that would keep him progressing through the "bootcamp plateau" that a lot of students run into.

Students cut 6 months off of their gaming journey by taking a bootcamp, but often get to a point in the coming weeks or months where they have a huge load of questions that go unanswered and, instead of seeking out the answers one way or another, they simply abandon the pursuit or stop seriously chipping away at the new skillset. This is what we call "The Bootcamp Plateau".

He wanted to be sure not to get caught up in this, so, after our meeting in the ABCs of Attraction Headquarters, Gareth and I pondered the issue at hand and laid out the format of the 12 Week Program to be the most flexible and thorough program a student could enroll in to-date.

Now, several months and several successful students later, our 12 Week Program has reached ridiculous heights. Just last month we took two of our current students out with Wesley Snipes!

There are tons of programs that give you the "opportunity" to buy tickets to the Playboy Mansion, but we're the only program who has current employees living AT the Playboy Mansion and who gets to go out with celebrities because they think we're FUN, not because we're paying them. Not to brag, but we're the real deal.

Our 12 Weeks of Fury has gone from laying down a rough outline in our secret ABCs hideout in Hollywood, to hanging out with A-List celebs, real Playmates, and weekend trips to Vegas (oh, I forgot to mention that a student of mine is putting two of his sessions together to go to Vegas with me for the weekend? Sorry about that.).

This is what all Pickup programs should be; a group of guys teaching each other how to be the people they want to hang out with. Even with the guys that have finished the program, we regularly get together for pizza and beer just to rehash some questions they might have accrued over the time since our last get-together.

So, it's with great confidence and pride that I invite you to take part in the program. Check out some of the testimonials and details of the program at http://12weeksoffury.eventbrite.com and email me if you have any questions you may have. We want you to progress and learn just as much as you do, so we want to be here to help.

The next 12 Weeks of Fury program starts in June so if you pay in full now, you'll get an additional $300 discount! Or, if you can only afford to spend one weekend with us, then go for the Starter Bootcamp for only $1275 and kickstart your dating and sex lifestyle!

Are YOU read to take charge of your destiny?

Don't waste another minute wondering what could or might be. Know HOW to make that permanent, long lasting transformation in your life!

Sign up for 12 Weeks of Fury!

Labels: 12 Weeks of Fury, Announcement

I've been in Community for well over 6 years now. Call me a grizzled old veteran who matriculated during the Project Hollywood days, but I've seen some of the best in action as well as the worst charlatans out there. Having been around the block quite a few times, there isn't much about Game that I don't know. And what I don't know, usually isn't worth knowing about.

Except for one chink in my armor: phone and text game. I always did low investment style texting, what I called "Text Message Carpet Bombing", which suited my jet-setting, globe-trotting lifestyle. And I also recently got onto Facebook like 6 months ago. So in addition to Facebook, my phone and text game was so 2005, definitely the 1.0 version, old technology.

That is until I met Gareth Jones, whom I've been training over the past year and has graduated to become a Certified Coach in addition to our long term training program, The 12 Weeks of Fury.

Gareth is also, and I say this having met the top guys in our industry, the BEST phone & text message pick up artist I have EVER had the pleasure of seeing. Seriously, the magic he does on the phone is MIND BLOWING. I have never seen a single human being like him get as many naked pictures through the magic of his cellphone as he does. It's awe-inspiring how he gets girls turned on.

This is version 2.0 stuff, what we're calling iGame: From Text to Sex.

Recently, we put up some bootleg videos of some of the new phone/text/facebook pick-up technology, which is light years ahead of everyone else. We've been getting tons of questions to the point that I convinced Gareth to dedicate a column to answering everything related to phone, text, and Facebook game.

1. Don't know when to call the girl? Ask Gareth Jones!
2. Don't know what to say to her? Ask Gareth Jones!!
3. Don't know what to text? Ask Gareth Jones!!!

You get the idea. Submit your questions here and good ol' Gareth will get right to it!

What do you have to lose? It's free advice from THE Best Phone & Text PUA out there!

Free advice to ANY questions asked!

Labels: Dear Asian Playboy, Gareth Jones, iGame: From Text to Sex

100 Slides? Check.
90 Minutes? Check.
Standing ovation? NAILED IT.



For more information on the awesome Real Man Conference, check out - http://tinyurl.com/yzqb47k

Other speakers included:

• Paul Janka, www.AttractionFormula.com
• Keychain (#8 Thundercat TOP 10 PUA of 2009), www.AdventuresofKeychain.com, 
• Asian Playboy (#10 Thundercat TOP 10 PUA of 2009), www.AbcsofAttraction.com
• Scot McKay, www.deservewhatyouwant.com
• Orlando Owen www.MagickMale.com
• Stefan Strecker www.seros.de
• Tijn van Ewijk www.masterflirt.nl
• Marcus www.yourcharismacoach.com
• Dharam www.PUATraining.com
• Yosha & Yad www.daygame.com
• HeartDoc www.DatingDoctors.eu
• Craig www.directseduction.co.uk

Labels: Day Game, Dharam, Keychain, Love Systems, Magick Male, Orlando Owen, Paul Janka, PUA Summit, PUA Training, Scot McKay, Stefan Strecker, Tijin van Ewijk, Your Charisma Coach

Ahoy mateys!

My bags are packed and I'm off to wow, amaze, and otherwise have an incredibly good time with the women of London and Germany as well as change the lives of those lucky British students who have signed up for the Special London Bootcamp on April 16-18. I haven't been back to London in 2 years, but everytime I've been, we've always had an amazingly great time.

I'll also be meeting up with Smooth Doc for the Real Man Conference so watch for my appearance on Sunday April 11th.

And then I'll be meeting up with Kezia Noble, the Top Female Pick Up Trainer (check out her interview), with whom I'm holding the joint PUA All-Star Workshop that's guaranteed to wow you guys on April 23rd when I'm back in the States!

Labels: Announcement, Germany, Kezia Noble, London, Real Man Conference

I thought this was pretty interesting. An Asian American Reality TV show like the Jersey Shore. Don't know how I feel about having the Asian version of Guidos and Guidettes, but hey, it's a start.

What do YOU think? Who wants to audition to be a housemate?

Thanks to Macallan for pointing it out first on our Community Forums.

Tyrese Gibson's production company HQ Pictures is looking for interesting, attractive, colorful Asian-Americans to cast in a reality show similar to JERSEY SHORE, REAL WORLD, THE HILLS, etc.. We need beautiful Asian-Americans with lively, strong, and unique personalities between the ages of 18 to 30 with equally interesting life stories and perspectives to share, especially individuals who know about and/or experienced the Koreatown life.

Please email us headshots/photos and a cover letter in the body of the email briefly describing yourself and why you should be included in this show. Competition is fierce as we are getting thousands of applicants so do your best to grab our attention! Be sure to include basic contact info such as name, age, phone #, email, and any other bits of interesting information that will make you stand out. Please feel free to include information and pictures of any of your friends that you think will also be a good candidate for this reality show.

We will be casting and filming on-camera interviews in LOS ANGELES or HOLLYWOOD, CA this month so please send in your info ASAP!
Email us at asianrealityshow (at) yahoo.com.

Location: Los Angeles/Hollywood/Koreatown

Labels: Announcement, Jersey Shore, Reality Shows

[UPDATE: Watch this interview with one of Kezia's wing girl who LOVES Asian men and her advice to them on how to pick up attractive white girls like her!]

I have exciting news for everyone on both sides of the Atlantic. The ABCs of Attraction is bringing you a ONCE IN A LIFETIME EVENT! The World's Greatest Asian Pick Up Artist is combining forces with the Top Female Pick Up Trainer for a PUA ALL STAR WORKSHOP on April 23rd.

But before I get to that, I just HAVE to give you guys an EXPLOSIVE interview that I did with Kezia Noble, the Top Female Pick up Trainer from PUA Training. What she has to say about Asian men is a REVEALING expose on not only what a beautiful woman thinks of Asian men, but also the rare point of view from one versed in the pick up arts and how to effectively teach men the art of flirting and confidence.

However, most importantly, the always insightful and beautiful Kezia Noble confirms what I've been espousing all along, that we as men- whether we're Asian, Indian, black, latino or white- have the choice to take control of our own dating lifestyle. While I think we would all love to be tall, dark and handsome, I know I can "settle" for being short, stunning, and smooth.

Read on for her salacious secrets. And at the end, find out how you can be put of this growing movement changing men's lives around the globe.

APB: "Kezia, tell our readers what makes you uniquely qualified and talented to be the Top Female Pick Up Trainer in the world?"
Kezia: "When I started out in the community as a wing girl, I noticed that the other wing girls and so called female dating coaches were giving fairly vague, nice, but ultimatley uselss advice. From the very start I decided to be 100 percent honest with each and evry mae student who wanted my advice, which earned e the repuatation for being 'a bitch with a heart' Men desperatley want to get an HONEST female view point as long as its constructive and not mean for the sake of being mean,

My techniques and feedback are born form my personal experience with 'naturals' (both Alpha and Beta) combined with the knowledge I have been lucky enough to obtainn from some of the most succesful pick up artists and seduction gurus in the community. Which is what makes my techniques so unique.

I also hold NO emotional baggage from my personal experience with ex boyfriends/lovers which can often clouds a girls view of men."

APB: "As a white woman, have you ever dated outside your race, specifically Asian or Indian? Why or why not?"
Kezia: "Yes I have dated outside my race, But I have not dated an asian guy (yet) The reason I have not dated an asian man, is because I have only ever been approached by 2 in my whole life (they were japanese) I have always assumed Im not their type physically, but a lot of my white/black female friends tell me they are also never approached by asian men either.

People assume that asian men will go for asian woman, and they accept that that's just the way it is. 

Saying that, my sister is attracted ONLY to asian men ( she adores japanese and korean guys) but apart from one guy I set her up with (from hong kong) she complains to me that she wishes she was approached more by asian men. How ever, saying that, things are starting to change, and asian men are dating white women more than they were say 10 years ago."

APB: "Before your career in pick-up, how did you perceive Asian men?"
Kezia: "My perception of asian men before entering the community was simply as I stated before, they were not in to me or my white female friends and that was it.

But now, after teaching a lot of asian guys, I can see that they are most deffinatley not in to JUST asian girls."

APB: "What's one of the best success stories you had while teaching a student in the field? Like a specific moment?"
Kezia: "The best moment for me was when one of my long term students who had serious problems with talking to women full stop ( he lost all his confidence and self belief when his wife left him for their 17 year old daughters BOYFRIEND!) we went to a very high end club, and he managed to take back home with him a very hot fairly well known celebrity. All that theory and practice in low end clubs really paid off, and I was super proud of him. He got his confidence back when he saw that he could really DO IT!"

APB: "What brings you to the USA?"
Kezia: "Im coming to LA, firstly because it is my favourit city i the world, and I love it when Im there. But this time, I feel its the right time to actually bring my techniques and advice to the states. as well as talking at the Ross Jeffries event, and working on the Asian Playboy night game event, I will be teaching students on personal one on one session. I also have meeting with some TV networks who are considering doing some shows that will involve me and what I teach and do."

APB: "What do you hope to pass along and achieve with this workshop?"
Kezia: "In this event I hope to pass on the ultimate female point of view, no stone left unturned. I want to share my hottest and most effective techniques that will help the students achieve maximum results for not just that evening but for the rest of their life.

Especially making sexual escalation in a club or a bar. Something which so many of my students back in the UK want to learn."

Event Information: On April 23rd and a mere $450, we are holding a once in a lifetime event, the joint PUA All Star Workshop powered by Kezia Noble, the Top Female Pick Up Trainer, and myself the Asian Playboy, the foremost authority on dating for Asian men. Only a SELECT few can join, but only if you act now and buy your ticket before someone else does!

For one whole day, you'll be able to pick our brains and allow us to give you our hard earned expertise with a full lecture and full in-field live training session with the both of us at your side.

You'll never get this opportunity again. So don't miss out. Sign up now for this PUA All Star Workshop!

Empower Yourself!
JT the Asian Playboy
1-888-689-GAME (4263)

Labels: Announcement, Asian Male White Female, Interview, Kezia Noble, PUA Training, United Kingdom

Here's an exclusive podcast I did with J the Ripper from the Casanova Crew. We talk about myself, my students, and where I see myself in the future. And an exclusive EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE END!

A must have on your playlist!


Stream here http://www.jtheripper.com

or download here:
http://www.jtrevents.com/Downloads/fuck.mp3

1. Newbie calls a number he closed for the first time on the show!
2. Hydro vs. Zar (former CC mod): Thier feud explained and we hook them up on the phone for "Squash the BEEF!" Cant miss this, first time they speak in a year.
3. "Design" the Korean PUA shares how to get a blowjob using serial killer game!
4. Getting his dick sucked by a stranger in the trunk of his car!
5. Cannibal/Jeffrey Dahmer game strategies.
6. Dexter~ joins the show!
7. Asian Playboy joins the show and talks about:

• How bad he was before the game.
• Most difficult students
• His personal blowout stories.
• Losing his virginity
• Asians invading the world.
• WHAT HAPPENS ON FRIDAY, APRIL 23RD?!

Labels: Casanova Crew, J the Ripper, Podcast

2010 will be my last year teaching fulltime.

So if you've ever thought of taking one of my legendary bootcamps with me, now's the time to put up or shut up.

Labels: Announcement