That's right! It's me! Gareth Jones, certified coach of the ABCs of Attraction's long term 12 Weeks of Fury program!
Back with the final installment of my AWESOME performance at the Casanova Crew Ultimate Same Night Lay Seminar! Last week, I gave you 30 minutes of awesomeness:
And at the end of this post, I'm going to give you 40 minutes that's going to blow away ALL your preconceptions about calling up girls and texting them.
So we've already established my penchant for phone and text game and how flawless that aspect of my game really is. I told you about how Asian Playboy had to poke and prod me to get the work done to make my 5-hour seminar,
iGame: From Text To Sex, happen. What I
DIDN'T tell you is that I've used this on waitresses, models, financial analysts, music video directors and
PORNSTARS and guess what?
IT ALL WORKS!
My phone and text game is unlike ANY OTHER out there (and if there's something similar, it's probably because they've copied me!).
The Internet is filled with TERRIBLE phone and text advice and, with all due respect to you as a student, EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT PHONE AND TEXT GAME IS WRONG!
This is 2010, kids! Why are you still relying on the text tips you read in books published 5 years ago?? God, back then I didn't even have unlimited texting. Think of how much my bill would be if I were sending 9,000 texts a month back then! This is the age of the smart-phone, so why don't you ring in the age of smart game as well?
Let me tell you a story:
Once upon a time, there was a handsome... scratch that... REALLY handsome guy named Gareth and he was at a bar on the Sunset strip called Saddle Ranch with some friends; maybe you've heard of it. While at this bar, he ended up in conversation with a very attractive brunette (I'll tell you the story of the approach, later; it's AMAZING). Anyway, they chatted for a while and Gareth discovered that her occupation was "Adult-model" (read: pornstar). Now, our hero doesn't have any particular fondness or disapprobation for women of this profession, but he knows it's going to take a specific type of game to pull her that night. He began to mold the conversation, thinking up the perfect subjects to discuss and the perfect key points to hit. He has his Walther PPK of Pickup locked and loaded.
Just as he's about to lay down the law, his friends from out of town pull him away and he loses her! They pull him off to a restaurant down the street and in all the confusion (which PISSEDGareth off tremendously), he didn't get to say goodbye. He was furious at his friends, but now was not the time for revenge, it was time to make sure HBPornSaddle was still his. He sent her over a text right then and there... at 11:30pm.
"BUT GARETH, EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT TEXTING TELLS ME THAT I SHOULDN'T EVER T......"
SHUT UP! What did I tell you?
"You told me everything I know about texting is wrong. Oh, I see what you did there."
Anyhow, being all hot for me, she was ready and willing to reply right away and, from there, I lead a funny and sexual text conversation that turned into a phone call that turned into a pornstar taking a cab from Encino to West LA at 5:45 in the morning to sleep with me.
Let me say this again: A PORN STAR PAID $160 TO COME FUCK ME AT 6AM.
Completely sober.
Doubt me? I didn't think so.
The reason I tell you this story is because I used my text skills to drive this girl crazy and YOU CAN TOO! Last week, I gave you the first half of my introduction to texting performance at the Casanova Crew SNL seminar and, this week, I'll give you the rest! The links below are the last half hour of that very seminar.
Ciao,
Gareth Jones
Labels: Gareth Jones, iGame: From Text to Sex, Video