Dear APB: "Redefining the Standard of Beauty In Order to Combat the IR Disparity"

In response to my highly popular "The CURE to the Interracial Dating Disparity", I received this email in my inbox asking if we can change the standards of beauty (ie Hollywood) in order to benefit Asian men.

Hi Asian Playboy,

I saw this newsletter and I really can relate. I think the underlying reason for asian women to be with white men is 'white is beautiful'. It's not about white men. It's about the white beauty standard glorified by hollywood. White men are benefiting from this and it's not just asian women. Some black and indian women are also mating with whites. If the beauty standard is asian, then non-asian women will mate with asian men just because they want asian beauty features. so, changing the beauty standard is even more powerful than changing identites from nerd to pua?

In other words, if a white loser guy (without game) is getting asian women b/c of his white features, then an asian guy (without game) should be getting non-asian women b/c of his asian features too. white race card vs asian race card An asian guy doesn't need game or anything to overcompensate for his asianness b/c asian is more beautiful.

lastly, how do you refine the beauty standard? there's a group and movement called the "suicide girls (http://www.suicidegirls.com/)" and their mission is to reject the hollywood beauty standard for their own. eg. My ugliness IS my beauty. My weakness IS my strength. This is reverse reframing and i thought asians can do this too.

-Anonymous
My response after the jump.

Response: Even if all of Hollywood worshipped Asian men, it still wouldn't- in the short term- do much to change the status of this generation of Asian Americans. Not to mention that trying to change the status quote through mental masturbation takes away energy, drive, and commitment that could best be spent on improving yourself and your peers.

What we can do NOW in order to be more successful is offer support to our fellow brothers and push ourselves OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONE to redefine ourselves as more masculine and confident men.

If you look at African Americans, that kind of acceptance took generations to reach. And even now, we still don't exist in a post-racial country. So yeah, there's stuff we could all do, but YOU wouldn't benefit from it. Probably not even your kids, more than likely only your grandkids would get that kind of "pop chic."

It's like the idea of all the world's wealth was redistributed today. The poor would still be poor and the rich would still be rich because it's the rich that that have the SKILLS and MINDSET necessary to be successful. So even in this "Asian Hollywood Paradise," without the confidence that comes from EXPERIENCE, then once a virginal nerd, still a virginal nerd.

People who want Hollywood to change or think that's the MAIN goal of the AM movement are actually mentally and morally lazy. They want Hollywood to change and not- in fact- make themselves better.

I use the analogy of Adam Smith's "Wealth of Nations." If a person pursues his own self-improvements and needs, then he in turn contributes to the "Invisible Hand" that will benefit society (in this case the Asian Men's Movement) as a whole.

"By pursuing his own self interest he frequently promotes that of society more effectually than when he really intends to promote it. I have never known much good done by those who affected to trade for the public good"(WoN, 456).

Thanks for reading my blog and feel free to send in your comments and/or questions!

P.S. For those of you still wondering how you can be successful BECAUSE of your Asian Identiy, then check out the below related AsianEdge posts.

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