"Overall it was a really cool, really positive experience, and I absolutely recommend it."I took the January NYC bootcamp with JT and Will. Overall it was a really cool, really positive experience, and I absolutely recommend it for anyone who is thinking about doing this.
The main 5 things I got out of it were:
1. Having a much better understanding of what was working and not working with my approaches - I've been ok at approaching girls at bars in the past but it's really been hit or miss; sometimes I would do well and sometimes I would be awful, and I couldn't figure out why.
I thought it had to do with what openers I was using but I realized after this course that it really has much more to do with body language; i.e. sometimes I was approaching with good body language and sometimes I wasn't. That realization made it much easier for me to focus in on this area and practice. I can't say my approaches are perfect but even last weekend (the week after the bootcamp) I could tell that I was improving a lot."JT has this whole [ABC] model... [which] I thought was pretty dumb.... [until] I began to realize what the model was about... understanding the model helps you understand what stage you are currently in and what steps you need to get to the next stage."
2. Understanding the flow/rhythm of an interaction - JT has this whole model of the order you're supposed to do stuff in (ABCDEF, its on the website) which to be honest when I first read about I thought was pretty dumb. I felt the model was overly mechanical and unnecessarily confining, and wasn't planning on adopting it.
But over the course of the weekend as JT explained it and I started thinking about it in the context of my approaches and past dating experience I began to realize what the model was all about. It's not that you have to necessarily go through every interaction in that order (in fact, my best approach of the weekend was one where the girl was into me from the get go and so we basically started at D); rather, understanding the model helps you understand what stage you are currently in and what steps you need to take to get to the next stage.
For example, if you are still in approach stage and haven't built any initial interest, there's not much point in telling comfort stories. Alternately, if you are already in stages D or E then you should be looking for how to push things forward (more physical/sexual escalation, extraction, etc) rather than reverting back to stage B or C. I've been on a good number of dates and this was probably the biggest thing I was messing up.
3. Refining my stories - I've always been good at telling funny and interesting stories, and there's a fair amount of stuff going on in my life that I use to demonstrate high value. This is something I'd sort of figured out on my own in the past (i.e. if I got a girl to the point where I could start telling her stories about myself then I knew I was in good shape), but working with JT really helped push it to another level.
I realized that...
a) my stories are way too long, especially in a bar environment,
b) while some of them are funny and interesting, they don't necessarily trigger any emotional responses (I wasn't describing how the events of my stories made me feel, which is super important), and
c) that I could get better at creating story 'hooks' such that I could manouver any conversation into one of my stories.
I applied this to great effect last night when I met a very attractive girl and quickly hooked into a funny story about my theater days back in college, which I could tell she was impressed by."Before the bootcamp I was doing ok with asian girls but I was absolutely atrocious when it came to talking to white girls, which I knew was purely a confidence/mental block issue. Going through the bootcamp, I approached so many sets (and had a number of good ones, all with white girls) that pretty soon I completely forgot about my own limiting belief and was approaching white girls with much greater ease and comfort."
4. Getting over white girl fear - I can't overemphasize the importance of this one. Before the bootcamp I was doing ok with asian girls but I was absolutely atrocious when it came to talking to white girls, which I knew was purely a confidence/mental block issue. Going through the bootcamp, I approached so many sets (and had a number of good ones, all with white girls) that pretty soon I completely forgot about my own limiting belief and was approaching white girls with much greater ease and comfort.
I was a bit worried that this new confidence would rub off after the bootcamp ended, but this last weekend I went out and approached a bunch of mostly white people and had some really great interactions. This by itself was worth the price of admission for me.
5. Having people to sarge with - I'm in a weird situation where most of my really close friends all have awesome natural/social circle game, so they're all doing great with women but simultaneously don't feel the need to go to bars and do pickup. I would periodically just go out by myself and walk into a random bar, but it was really tough to solo sarge and I always felt like an idiot.
Now, knowing there are other alums out there doing this stuff, I'm much more confident that I won't waste any weekends not stepping up my game."I could keep raving about this but I don't want to sound like I'm trying to sell something, because I'm not."
I could keep raving about this but I don't want to sound like I'm trying to sell something, because I'm not.
In fact, part of me hopes that other people don't do bootcamps because it means less competition for me. But at the end of the day, I genuinely want everyone to improve themselves, and I think this is a great way to do it.
- Justice (New York City)
Labels: Justice, New York City, Reviews, Testimonial, William