"You need to develop awareness which will increase your probabilities of walking away from a needless confrontation. Awareness is Key, so you must practice this daily until it becomes habit. Like reading IOIs and other PUA stuff."Gatsby here. This was a topic that I was a hesitant to post. But in the end, I decided that it's in the best interest of all readers to learn and know.
This post is about protection. Protecting yourself, your girl, and your friends. Protecting doesn't mean "fighting" the bad guy. It's about being aware of your surroundings (the people and the situation) and preventing, defusing and/or de-escalating a hostile situation. This series will also give you some tips on how to physically protect yourself and your girl as well (through images and video).
As APB says, "Pick-up is a competitive sport. A finite number of hot women, and an infinite number of horny men." There are emotions, adrenaline, and ego involved in pick-up. I personally noticed something when I went out. Whether I roll in a group or alone, I'm usually under the radar. Basically, I'm a non-threat to my "competitors." But when they see me successfully approaching and flirting with a girl, I can sense hostility. I've never been in any altercation or even a verbal confrontation in my 13 months of PUA. However, especially now that I'm dating a black girl, I sense people doing double, triple-takes whether I'm at a restaurant, bar/club, on the streets. I realized that there will be situations where I'll face hostility where I need to protect myself and my girlfriend. And I better be damn ready, for part of being a man is being a protector of loved ones.
So I asked Warren, an alumnus that I met at a bootcamp, to give his thoughts on personal protection against real world encounters. He's a self-defense and hand to hand combat trainer of Personal Protection 101 in NYC. This will be a 4-part series on Awareness, Verbal De-Escalation, Physical Conflict, Post-Conflict.
Part 1 - On Awareness by Warren
From my experience traveling all over North America for 17 years, taking the most leading edge Personal Protection and Combat Application programs and checking out the typical “martial arts" schools, I realized that most self-defense systems address only the physical portion of street defense. They don’t teach Personal Protection (PP) in a holistic way addressing psychological, emotional, and physical. These 3 elements are pieces of the puzzle that form the whole that are needed for successful personal protection. As PUAs, I‘m sure that you understand if you lack understanding in one element, you won’t close.
As a PP instructor, most of the questions I get is, “What should I do if he X PHYSICAL ATTACK – i.e. suckerpunch, suckerstab, multiple attackers”. My answers are always “It depends on the scenario specifics (i.e. What’s the venue? Who is arround you? Where are the security personnel in the night club? Who are you with? Who is your attacker with?)
And the second question I ask is how did the confrontation (unless it is a racial rage attack or premeditated attack-- like the way LittlePUA got suckerpunched) get to that point where you fucked up on your awareness / avoidance, your verbal de-escalation and using psychology in relation to violence to thorough choice speech, physical gestures, body language communication to control/lead the confrontation to control the AMOG/PERP (perpetrator)’s behavior. Hell, getting physical in a confrontation is your last option when sarging. “AMOGS who trashtalk can be persuaded to Walk” Besides, your goal to go sarging is to close. When you get physical with an AMOG / perpetrator...
- You will ruin your night for sexing up a beautiful woman.
- You will have to deal with the police
- You will look over your shoulder for revenge attacks god knows how long in the post-conflict phase. The huge assailant you dropped and his friends will most certainly be looking for you at that particular nightclub.
Developing Awareness 101
Awareness in relation to personal protection is using the 5 senses to perceive a possible threat in what ever venue you happen to be in.
a) Hostile facial expressions
- If you are in a nightclub / bar, first priority in awareness is to locate the positions of all the security stations and the ‘floaters’ roving securities. Locate where the exits are.
- If you sarge with a wing, arrange an emergency plan. One of my friends, I asked him in his hearts of hearts if he trusted his regular bud to have his back if a confrontation occurred. When my client said ‘no’, he’s not a confrontational guy’, I advised him to give his friend the mission to stop gaming and locate and alert the nearest security if a confrontation is occurring. This also covers your ass legally in the post-conflict phase, even if you have to protect yourself physically because the bouncers thought that a friend was worried enough about his wingman possibility of getting hurt to alert them.
- Scan your environment for any AMOG / potential perpetrator and read body language for aggressive body language cues and aggressive energy. Be aware of them.
b) The ‘stare down’
c) Aggressive body language and posture: like flaring of chest and arms
d) Fists clenching and closing
e) Breathing becoming more rapid and shallow or slowing down
f) Face becoming all white (perp’s body preparing for attack by all the blood rushing to the attacking limbs
g) Face becoming red with rage
h) A shift of weight or a change of range ex. Boxing range so he can load up and suckerpunch you.
i) AMOG’s words are friendly, but his body language is aggressive/hostile. Trust the body, The body never lies.
j) If the perpetrator are carrying concealed weapons, tend to subconsciously do a “security pat” to make sure it is still there, especially in a stressful confrontation.
k) 3 most things to be aware of in a personal protection context. In fact, this it the only 3 assumptions that you can make in a survival context.
Your aggressor is armed. Your aggressor is trained to fight with the weapon Your aggressor has friends somewhere around.
l) Predetemine a psychological/physical safety boundary. Bruce Lees’s boundary was his eyejab range. And any aggressor who crossed that line got fucked up. I’m not saying that is your first option if an hostile huge AMOG passes your already established safety boundaries. Your response to a hostile threat will always depend on the scenario specifics. What if it was only a pushy dick who wanted to impress some chick and you pop out his eyeball, Then you my friend will spend the night in jail and be assfucked.
m) If you are in a verbal confrontation with an aggressor and his hands disappear, the hostile is NOT scratching his ass, scratching his balls, OR reaching into his pocket to give you his phone number. He is reaching to deploy a weapon or winding up for a punch.
You need to develop awareness which will increase your probabilities of walking away from a needless confrontation. Awareness is Key, so you must practice this daily until it becomes habit. Like reading IOIs and other PUA stuff.
Til next time,
Personal Protection 101