President George Bush's Field Report: When Kino Goes Wrong!

Even amongst the movers and shakers of the world, sometimes AMOTFWs (Alpha Male Of The Free World) can badly play their hand...

Here we have fellow Texan PUA, President George Bush (Dubya to the likes of ya'll), kino escalating German Chancellor Angela Merkel with a badly implemented "back rub."

Bad kino escalation, Dubya!
(PUA BUSH: "I just read up on this great Swedish Dual Induction Massage..."
HB MERKEL: "Bushie, you're such a nice guy, I think we should just remain friends.")

As all Pick Up Coaches will tell you, the key to escalating is to kino in small steps before going for the infamous "back rub" to be followed up by "Your private jet or mine?"

Afterwards, POTUS (President of the United States) was overheard drowning his sorrows over his tenth bottle of Michelob Ultra and lamenting, "Damnit! I should have gone in direct and cave manned her Teutonic buxomness!"

A female assistant of the German Chancellor, name withheld for strict confidentiality, reported that Merkel, while lazily reclining in the women's executive martini lounge slash restroom, was quoted to have said, "Like OH. MY. GOD. I can't BELIEVE he even touched me. Like. CREEPY!"

You can read a complete Field Report of George Bush's failed kino tactics as well as a video of Bush's failed pick up of the German bombshell.

Signed, Asian Playboy

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