[UPDATE: This blog is no longer being updated. For the very best and very latest in my continuing (mis)adventures, techniques, results, and pictures, please go to my ABCs of Attraction Blog! Thanks and I'll see you on the other side! - JT]
APB set me on the right path. I had a lot of fun. I keep a positive attitude.
APB laid the groundwork and now it’s my job to explore my skills."
I arrived Thursday afternoon in Austin where I met up with APB. He does a review of my posture, my wardrobe and points out a few beta qualities I can correct. We hit the [bar/club area] starting at a bar. My approach anxiety was running high at the first club where I could barely hear anything except the pounding of the music. I asked APB for a change of venue to a place where I could hear myself.
So we hit a smaller bar with an outside patio. We sit at an outdoor table next to a two set. APB nudges me and says “two set behind you.” I approach and deliver a canned opener that I had prepared for the weekend. I get resistance from the less attractive of the two but I could care less and begin chatting up the cuter one. APB points out that the less attractive one is the alpha female so I need to qualify myself to her first.
[APB: Not qualify, but befriend and disarm the cockblock.]
I realize that he is correct. I also realize that APB is very aware of the interaction. I jokingly accuse the less attractive one of flirting with me because her legs keep touching mine. She smiles and tells me that I am occupying her space. Attraction works for about 10 minutes but the less attractive girl begins to lose interest because she begins to figure out that I am attracted to her friend. The two get up and tell me that they are going to the bathroom.
APB and I are alone for less than minute. He points out “Another two set to your left.”
I don’t hesitate. I get up and approach “Let me ask you two a quick question. Do you think that my cologne is too feminine?” The two both lean over and start sniffing me. I initiate kino and put my hands ontheir shoulders as I start attracting. They are both smiling and flirting. Nice bodies. Mediocre faces.
I’m wishing I was drunk because I would be attracted. I break out and leave them. APB is waiting at the table. He tells me that the first two set saw me with the second two set and bailed. I could care less. I realize that the approach is a lot easier than I had originally thought. This was just the beginning. This was just warm up. The beginning of the game.
We then return to the first club we had hit. My confidence was higher and I was ready for something more interesting. We hit the outside patio and sit down. APB points out a two set at the bar. I approach and open. Within two minutes, one of them, Mandy1, shows a lot of interest.
The other one is left out so I move the two set to the table because I need APB to keep the other one occupied. I try to create comfort with Mandy1, but she is already comfortable. Her hands are all over me and when I grab her hand she squeezes my hand tightly. I release her hand tell her to stop flirting with me. She is suddenly quiet. I smile and grab her hand again. I tell myself to forget about attraction and comfort. Mandy1 is ready. She is game. She banters about this and that.
I motion over to her to come over close because I cannot hear her – something I learned from APB. She comes closer. I take her glasses off and tell her that she looks like Winona Ryder. I am not lying. She smiles. I reach over for a kiss. Kiss close accomplished. I kiss her two more times. I flirt and she begins to qualify herself. The tables are turned. I ask her who she is with at the club. She tells me that her boyfriend works at the club that we are sitting at. I stay cool. I ask her how long she has had her boyfriend problem. She grows silent.
I smile at her and she begins to banter again. I turn around, APB is working Mandy1’s tall blonde friend. She is a hottie. The club is closing. It is 3:00 a.m. My first evening has flown by. Mandy1 is inviting me to an after hours party and she gives me her cell number. Kiss close and number close. APB and I bail. Our first night goal is to hit as many sets as possible.
It is 3:00 a.m. and we walk out of the club. We run into a three set, a guy and two girls. One is a fairly cute brunette with short hair. Her name is also Mandy. This is Mandy2. The other is a hottie – a classic Texas girl with blonde hair, blue eyes and a killer body [named TXBlondey].
The third is her boyfriend BartenderB. He is drunk. I befriend him so I can meet the girls. TXBlondey is his girlfriend. Bad news. No biggie. I’ve already learned tonight that there are a lot of hotties to go around. I have a new game. They invite us to an after hours party at their friend’s place. We join the three set and follow them to an apartment party. There is one girl and 5 guys waiting for us. The new girl’s name is AmandaPeeteClone. She is tall and cute. She is the wife of one of the new guys and we are at her place. I look at APB. He doesn’t care.
[APB: I actually led her to her bedroom, held hands with her and laying side by side with her in bed before I found out she had a husband in the next room. I decide discretion is the better part of valor before her cornfed husband found us canoodling.]
TXBlondey is hot [APB: Easily a HB9].
She is friendly. So is her boyfriend. He is a tall, good looking white guy. He is a bartender at the hottest, trendiest restaurant in own – [name deleted]. APB reminds me that BartenderB and TXBlondey are good to know. They will provide social proof later. We hang out until 5:30 am.
I get TXBlondey’s number programmed into my mobile number. She wants to hang out the next evening. She apologizes for BartenderB being drunk and acting stupid. APB eaches me something. Girls do not like beta guys. They like alpha guys. He is in bed with AmandaPeeteClone holding her hand while her husband is in the other room.
APB and I end the night. We head back to the hotel. We have plans to meet up with TXBlondey. She is hot. She is cool. She likes us.
The next day I wake up. I feel great. APB calls TXBlondey. We get her voicemail and leave her a message. She calls us at 6:00 p.m. She wants to meet up at 9:00 p.m. at where BartenderB works. APB and I arrive and see BartenderB behind the bar. The bar is packed. It is Friday night at the trendiest restaurant in town. The crowd is young, well to do and good looking. APB and I occupy a corner at the bar. BartenderB greets us warmly and loudly.
We bullshit for awhile. He gives us social proof. I feel a lot of eyes on us. People are wondering who we are. We run into Mandy #2. She comes over and sits down. BartenderB starts bringing us food – a lot of food. Dish after dish. We begin to feed Mandy2 by hand while she is seated [and giving us kisses and hugs]. People are watching us. They are curious. BartenderB keeps serving us shots. He always brings one for himself. He likes partying with us. A random girl approaches me. She is someone I met in New York in 1995. Her name is WannableModel – social proof # 2. She is psyched to see me. She is with her husband and a guy. She talks to us for a while and then sits with her group to eat.
TXBlondey shows up. She looks hot. She is late. She is forgiven. APB and I do not realize she is late because we are distracted and having fun. She comes over and gives both of us a kiss on the cheek and a hug. Social proof # 3. I can feel more eyes wandering our way. Two girls walk into the restaurant. TXBlondey points out their leg warmers and laughs about them. I do not answer Stacy. I approach the two set and immediately open “Would you guys like a table?”
I do not care. I have no approach anxiety this evening. I am with APB. I am part of the game. The girls figure out what I am doing. The hostess tells me that their table is ready. I tell them that I will catch up with them later and smile. They smile back.
I go back to our corner spot at the bar where TXBlondey and APB are waiting for me. I look and a three set is hovering around us – a guy and two girls. They want to meet us. We are having fun and we have a hottie named TXBlondey with us. APB tells me to initiate conversation. One girl is tall with curly hair. She is late twenties and attractive. The other is petite. She looks like Sarah Hughes (2002 Olympic Figure skating gold medalist).
She gives me a full body scan – a heavy IOI. I am oblivious because she pales in comparison to TXBlondey. APB points out the IOI and tells me to escalate attraction. I tell him I am not interested, because I see better looking girls at the restaurant. I am shallow. I am a man. APB is teaching me the game and I am learning fast. I am feeling cocky. I will not settle.
I head to the bathroom. I walk slowly with confidence. I remember how APB told me how to walk. I have a smile on my face. People are smiling back. Even the hired guns. They know now that I am BartenderB’s friend and they know that BartenderB is cool. He works with them. I see WannabeModel and tell her to come and meet my friends. She jumps at the chance. I am going through the ropes for one reason – to build social proof with TXBlondey. I want her to hook me up with a hottie like herself.
WannabeModel and I approach the bar. I tell TXBlondey that WannabeModel and I used to hang out in NYC. WannabeModel used to be a model. She tells TXBlondey good stories about me. WannabeModel demonstrates higher value for me. TXBlondey is intrigued. She has a higher opinion of me now. She knows now I have lived in cool places and hung out with cool people. She tells me that WannabeModel is not that pretty. TXBlondey is a woman. She is competitive.
The three set with the lone guy is still hovering. They are listening to what is going on and the girls think we are cool. They guy feels threatened. He underestimated APB and me. The three are not talking much by now. His two girls are looking and facing in our direction.
TXBlondey wants to leave and change venues. BartenderB cannot come. He has to work. WannabeModel wants to come. So does the three set. One of them asks where we are headed. We decide on [a venue]. We get outside and TXBlondey hails down a bicycle carriage [which she paid for as well as several drinks for us during the night]. APB and I seat her in the middle. He tells her to walk with me arm in arm at the new club and hunt down hot babes with me. APB has made TXBlondey my ultimate wingman.
[APB: She even tried to bring girls over for Shaggy to meet, but she had little success... either cause her female-to-female game is weak or she wasn't putting her heart into it and wanted to keep Shaggy for herself.]
She is a woman. She is hot and she is demonstrating that I am cool. The strategy works. I walk around in the club. She takes my arm and we walk and do a full scan of the club. Everyone is watching us. Even the three set who followed us is watching me. The Sarah Hughes look-alike has given up on me. She feels she cannot compete with TXBlondey. TXBlondey is way hotter than her. TXBlondey is holding my arm. I cannot believe how good I feel. I am a robot. A social robot. I feel no anxiety meeting girls.
We are seated at a table. TXBlondey is seated between APB and me. I am having fun. A lot of fun. APB suddenly taps on my shoulder and says “Three set in front of you.” I don’t hesitate. I don’t even look. I approach and open. There are three girls. I immediately sense that the short, ugly girl with the blonde curly hair (aka Sammi Hagar) is the alpha chick.
There is another hot brunette and a fat one. I am only interested in one of them, but I work the whole three set. My eye contact is evenly distributed and my hand gestures are confident and strong. The three agree to come join me at the table. They have to go to the bathroom first. I go back to the table [where the 3 girls later joined us].
Everyone knows what I did. They also know that I have no approach anxiety. I am cool and do not care about the results. APB has taught me to be sexual and be an alpha male. I am not fully convinced, but everyone else seems to be. I feel good. I feel confident.
BartenderB shows up and chills with us. BartenderB is a cool guy. He is already a friend. His girlfriend is a hottie and I am attracted to her. But I do not feel jealous. She is serving her purpose well and enjoys role playing to make me look cool. But she knows that I am cool. She knows that both APB and I are cool. Her opinion of us is totally escalating. There are many more sets to approach. But I am having too much fun. I want to find a hottie. I do not want to settle. I look across and spot her. She is a young [20yr] blonde, 5’8” with gleaming blue eyes and beautiful tanned skin:
Me: “So I’ve got a quick question for you to answer. Do you think unisex cologne is too feminine for straight guys?”
TanPrincess: “Depends on the guy….”
This girl was confident and wanted game. She wanted me to fall into her frame. She was used to guys buying her drinks and offering her things. I needed a good neg for her. She needed it.
Me: “So where were you on vacation over the holidays? Mexico or the Caribbean?”
Me: “Your tan….where did you get it?”
I wanted to knock her off balance so I decided to gamble. She looked young, beautiful and tan, but I was betting she had a fake baked tan. I was also ready to tell her where I got my tan – in [South America] over the New Year.
Me: “Fake baking is ok. I do it too, but only before I go to somewhere warm because it gives me a base tan and keeps me from burning. You know that there’s a hole in the ozone layer above Argentina and Uruguay. I got really dark there in only two days. The nice thing is that South American tans last. I’m still dark and it’s been almost 2 weeks.”
She smiles at me because she has no comeback. She is beautiful, but she is unable to demonstrate higher value. The tables had turned now. I had to seize the opportunity.
TanPrincess: “So what do you do?”
Me: “I want to get a glass at my table over there. Why don’t you follow me.”
APB is winging perfectly. He is keeping the guy she was with occupied with small talk and letting me do my attracting and comforting. TanPrincess was the real deal. Tall, blonde and thin. She was what I had always idealized as a hot Texan girl. This girl had class and the brains to test anyone. Bu I was ready. I had attracted and comforted and I had qualified as someone desirable. It was time to get her to qualify herself to me. It was time to isolate.
TanPrincess follows me to my table where TXBlondey and BartenderB are seated. The two give me social proof to TanPrincess. They are an attractive couple and they are local. Both give her the full body scan. Both know that TanPrincess is a babe. But both already assume after only two days of knowing me that this is the type of chick that I game.
They see clearly that I am confident and assume that I am accustomed to beauty. I tell TanPrincess nonchalantly that I met them on the street the night before. I convey to TanPrincess that I am not shy and that cool people are attracted to me and want to hang with me. It works. TanPrincess sits down next to me. I had moved her as APB had advised. She was now in my territory. I had her isolated.
The two of us engage in playful conversation. She likes challenges. She is sassy. I can tell by her flirtatious smile when she speaks that she is the type to lose interest quickly. I needed to demonstrate higher value.
[APB: I don't think it was demonstrating more value, but handling her shit tests that she kept throwing your way. You were definitely outside her spectrum of guys he's used to hooking up with (either good looking, meatheads or rich sugar daddies) so she kept on testing you to see how congruent you are to the "incredibly social Asian alpha male" image.]
Me: “I’ve met a lot of people having lived in both LA and NYC and I’ve discovered that beauty is very common. It is everywhere. But beauty is something you are born with or something you can buy. But it’s also something that fades over time, especially if you fake bake all the time.”
I smile flirtatiously and let her know that I am teasing her.
TanPrincess: “I don’t care because I only date rich guys and plan to marry a rich.”
She tries to qualify me by changing the subject. But she believes every word she said. She thinks her very direct statement will catch me off guard. She knows the game and she is skilled.
Me: “Wealth is also common but it doesn’t fade like beauty, unless you are stupid.”
Once again I will not give into her. She has no idea if I am rich or poor and I have no idea what she considers rich or poor. But I remembered what APB told me – do not get defensive.
Me: “For me, the three most important qualities a person can have are the API’s – a positive attitude, a good personality and most importantly a great intuition. These three qualities can be learned and developed. They separate a girl from a woman.
I am glad I had read “The Game.” I stole these words and made them mine. I wanted her focus on my strengths. I had to demonstrate value. I had to get her into my frame. I wanted her to think like me.
Meanwhile, TXBlondey and BartenderB are seated watching me sarge TanPrincess. I feel them watching me but I do not care. I am having fun – too much fun. BartenderB comes over and says good bye and TXBlondey comes over and kisses my cheek and tells me that she will call me tomorrow. I do not get up. I had to remain alpha. The tall, handsome bartender from the trendiest spot in town and his hottie girlfriend are walking over to me to tell me that they had a great time.
TanPrincess and I sit and continue to banter. I touch her shoulders from time to time. I want to show her that I am sexual. She responds with smiles, but she does not touch me back as Mandy1 had done the previous night. TanPrincess knew the game. She was not easy. She was not a slut – at least on this night. My job tonight was to convince her that I am the prize. I am unique. I like myself. Most importantly, I had to convince her that she has things in common with me – the three API’s.
She was too tough tonight. I lose her when the club closes. No number close. No kiss close. I didn’t try but it never got close enough for a secure close. I could feel it.
[APB: I think you could have closed, but you lost track of time and stopped keeping one step ahead. The end of the night is Cattle Call and you've got to juggle closing out your tab, saying good bye to your friends, figuring out transportation, closing or bouncing the girl and a plethora of other logisitical issues. You became so focused in on the moment and the target, you forgot what was happening around you. As you get better, you'll learn to keep track of where you are in the sarge and how to stay one step ahead of the girl.]
I was playing the game. You may wonder how I feel. I feel great. I had the guts to do the approach and go through the motions. I had no fear. I played the game. I lost today but I had learned how to break down the process of seduction. I cannot get worse. I will only get better. The girls will also get better. Yes even better than TanPrincess. I have high standards. I have the ability to overcome obstacles. But like everyone, I get nervous.
I do not like failure. It is hard to think when you are nervous. This is where most guys fall apart due to approach anxiety. APB defined the social process with specific words. He convinced me that we will all fail from time to time, but we need to count our successes and not our failures as most guys do. He told me that I was his most eccentric client, but he also told me my game is very good. His words convinced me to forget about all the fears I had. I still have some. We all do. But he taught me how to overcome them by understanding the whole process of seduction.
I am sitting on a flight back home thinking about the weekend. Before I boarded the plane, I saw an attractive one set. She was early thirties and she kept looking at me while reading her book. I felt the IOI. I approached and opened. She was an US Olympic Equestrian trainer. She was eccentric and nervous. She went from attractive to lacking sexuality in less than one minute. She needed game. She needed to learn how to smile, how to flirt.
This process I realized was a two way street. I quickly lost interest and I was no longer attracted. I went to watch football. I told her that my favorite team was playing. I had to lie to be courteous. The Colts had already lost a heartbreaker.
Now, who is this guy you may wonder. I am a new to this community and do not have aspirations of becoming a PUA. I am a thirty eight year old Asian guy. I stand 5’7” and I weigh 130 lbs. I also wear glasses. I have all the makings of a stereotypical nerd. But I have game. I was not born with it. No one is. I learned it over the years because I kept an open mind. I am always open to learning how to be happy.
That is the reason I hired APB. He is good and he is supportive. I simply want to have a choice of who will be my next girlfriend. She will not come to me. I was not blessed with male model looks nor do I represent idealized masculine beauty. I want to learn to open, attract, comfort and close the girl that I want and I will need to be prepared. APB set me on the right path. I had a lot of fun. I keep a positive attitude. APB laid the groundwork and now it’s my job to explore my skills.
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